scratch-mark

Non-Sequitur Heaven

Once upon a time, Nice Guy decided to buy a new hang-glider from a German designer and manufacturer, and at the time, it was the best hang-glider in the whole wide world. But Nice Guy didn’t follow the proper and prudent shipping procedures, and the beautiful wing was severely damaged in shipment.

And so the story goes. But it doesn’t end there. It turns out that Nice Guy was really the poor victim of the Big Bad Company. So says Saint Marc. Even worse, Evil lurks in the form of a free hang-gliding e-zine editor, Davis, who published opinions on the subject that tend to favor the position of Big Bad Company. But that’s not all. Oh, no. Evil Davis is guilty of many, many sins, which surely make Nice Guy more right, and Big Bad Company more wrong.

So says Saint Marc; so say we all. Behold; my grave condemnation of Evil Davis via email!

Davis:

You wrote:

> Mark writes that he didn’t inspect the shipping box for
> damage and didn’t enforce his rights not to accept
> the box due to damage (just as I have stated, based
> on his previous statements).

Completely true, so far as I can tell.

> Therefore, it is my understanding that the insurance
> lapsed and he was responsible for the accepting the
> damaged goods as is.
>
> Pretty straight forward.

But you’re ignoring the fact that Mark P is such a nice guy, and his email was so heart felt, and his feelings were hurt, and he was upset, and most importantly, meant no harm to anyone and didn’t understand all the procedures.

Also, Davis, you’re bad. A real asshole. And evil. Evil Davis. So that has to factor in there, somewhere.

Marc W sticks up for people, especially victims (when he’s not too busy necessarily tending his own victimization), and that’s good. A real saint. Saint Marc. Nothing like wailing and crying over the victimized and downtrodden. It’s ultimately where all investments of time, money, and effort ought to go, and so that has to factor into this too. So says Saint Marc; so say we all.

> The lesson that we can all learn from this is that you
> the shippee, no matter if you live in a trailer or a
> mansion, or have no shipping address, or work in a
> nuclear power plant, or at Joe’s dinner, have a
> personal responsibility to inspect goods that are
> shipped to you and if they are obviously damaged to
> refuse to accept them.
>
> Pretty simple really.

Oh, Evil Davis, you’re such an ASSHOLE. Do you mean to tell me that you’re insisting that people understand the terms of purchase for a $15,000 transaction, and then follow them? When you yourself get discounts for gliders? When Hollywood broke his wing, crashed and died, and someone else (a Nice Guy too–not an asshole, like you) covered up the reason the reserve wasn’t deployed for two years? When Brightstar went out of business, and there’s no more alternative to the ATOS?

How can you, Evil Davis, expect people to go through the trouble and labor and bother of transacting with Big Bad Company when their Cursed ATOS isn’t anybody’s first choice to fly, anyway? The fact that everyone does fly them is only proof that you, Evil Davis, have conspired with Big Bad Company to vanquish all competition. And, since you did vanquish such competition, this be proof that the ATOS is the most inferior wing. Naturally (So says Saint Marc; so say we all.).  Everyone really wants to fly Millenniums and Exxtacies and Axxesses and Top Secrets and Stalkers and Phantoms and Goblins and what have you–anything, ANYTHING but an ATOS…and A.I.R <curse>. If ONLY you had not cast your powerful spell on everyone, making them all unable to detect your many LIES LIES LIES, these other companies with superior wings would not have gone out of business and nobody would have to deal with A.I.R.

We would once again be blessed by the Holy Grail that is CHOICE. So says Saint Marc; so say we all.

Evil Davis: you’re an asshole!

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More

2 Comments

  1. Doug Wolf on August 19, 2005 at 14:30

    I never realized the Oz Report could be so racy!

    🙂

    My friend Braden keeps outflying me. Do you think Evil Davis could put a spell on him that would make him not soar so well?

    And what exactly does one have to do to get "Evil" prepended to his name? "Evil Doug"… I think I like the sound. 🙂

    (Can you tell it's been a slow week for me?)

    — DW

  2. prying1 on August 19, 2005 at 20:22

    I'm so confused! Whose side should I be on? It sounds to me like the shippee was so very wrong to not inspect the package (something I learned in my first job.) and how the hell can the shipper tell if his package arrives in good condition unless he sends it by a trusted well paid courier at the shippees expense.

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