scratch-mark

Big Fucking Impact Man

I believe I’ve come across the perfect little character attribute that best serves to differentiate me from the eco-freaks and other assorted lefties. Just a couple of hours ago I was in the car listening to NPR and this guy,

Sort of. I don’t really begrudge him his crazy values. Hey, if he wants to fantasize about what a great guy he is because he takes his own cloth napkin to a restaurant and a host of other meaningless (to me) and empty (to me) acts, fine. In fact, there was a portion of the radio interview where I actually had some respect for the guy. He said that for years he had bitched and moaned about what all sorts of laws we need in order to compel people to do this and that (uphold his values) and at a point he realized that he just needed to go and worry about himself, about his own "impact on the planet." He learned to kind of mind his own business and put his own bullshit to the test. Good, as far as it goes. I think it’s nuts and stupid, but the only impact of his that concerns me is his impact on me (and I noted I could turn off the radio any time it suited me).

No Impact Man. Indeed, if only it were so for the whole lot of ’em and extended as far as their commie politics. Puny. Insignificant. Of no import. Meaningless. All attributes that would apply to anyone sincerely wishing to make "no impact" with their lives. In essence, it’s the perfect expression of a life with no point whatsoever — which is, of course, the whole point. Unfortunately for the rest of us, making "no impact" is exactly the opposite of their intentions.

Man, I’m just fundamentally different. I’m actually a human being in the classic sense, which means: I want to make a big fucking impact. In fact, I’d like a planet all to myself just to see what I could do with it; …just to see how I could mold and shape it precisely to my own interests. Hell, I’d like a galaxy –failing that, at least a solar system — all to myself. Maybe I could figure out how to generate a Big Bang out of it, or something. I’m not talking nihilism here. Quite the contrary; what I’m really talking about is human control of existence for our own greater and greater wealth and benefit — all of it, without artificial limitations.

By the way? I adore landfills. Aren’t they cool? They just have the whole look and smell of human progress, wealth, plenty. Absolutely love ’em. More landfills. Big Fucking Huge Ones.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More

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