Better Safe Than Sorry

Yes. Absolutely. Christ, already. This is one of my pet peeves in the world (go check that photo at the NYT link). Yea, we’re "not being too careful" everywhere, now. It was just the other day I decided to forgo a normal dinner in lieu of a Nathan’s hot dog, a buttered popcorn, and a Coke while seeing what’s all the hubbub about Ben’s brother in Gone Baby Gone (good performance; I’d probably have just let Morgan, his wife, and the "adopted" girl be). It’s a weeknight, and the downtown cinema is uncharacteristically busy. Then the fat chick in front of me takes the last three (three!) hot dogs.

So, anyway, it’s going to be 15-20 until they’ve got a new batch sufficiently warmed. Damn; now I’m gonna have to ditch a few minutes of the show — as I will not be denied my Nathan’s. So I pop out during a lull, there’s no line at the counter, and I command them to go, with all haste. Well, first they have to take the hot dog’s temperature (is it sick? do they not know that hot dogs are cured and pre-cooked?). Whew; passed the test. Are we a go, now? Well, no. First, we must extract, one-by-one, the clear plastic gloves the lunch ladies used to wear in the school caf when you were a kid. Then, we must separate the maddeningly clingy two pieces — to each dammed glovelet. Excruciating. All so that we can reach in and grasp a single bun from it’s plastic wrapper. Then it’s on to the tongs, which first, must be employed in a crude and uncoordinated maneuver to separate the halves of the bun; only then to grasp and insert said (now) sufficiently hot: dog — into the bun. Then that whole ensemble is finally inserted into the nifty paper foil wrapper to keep it keeping hot — and all without ever touching a not too careful bare human hand.

How much better off and blessed I am with people looking out for my mundane quotidian safety in such a rigorous manner.

Well, it’s 3:30 and I ought to get back to bed. I’d just got up to peek at the overseas markets and index futures. Most are down, but I suspect it’s a 9:30 a.m. gift to buyers in New York. But we’ll see.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More

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