You don’t have to believe in Santa to enjoy Christmas
A couple of weeks back, one of my posts hit Lyle McDonald’s Monkey Island Forum ("The Mean Forum"). Unless you have a thick skin, you "paleotards" probably want to avoid getting involved — though it has pretty much died out by now.
Lyle asked some questions which imply some decent criticisms, so I thought it might be a good idea to address them; more so for the sake of new paleotards than us tried & true, old hand paleotards.
I just got back from dinner, OK? So I started with an attempt to eat my bodyweight in protein. I choose from the real food groups: steak, chicken, scallops, some other fish. I think something else.
Then I had a big salad. Most of the different veggies.
Now, I did have some COMMERCIAL SALAD DRESSING which I’m quite sure had some HFCS in it. I also had a couple of pieces of fresh pineapple which also increased my fructose load.
Then, at the end, called by the siren of the modern world, I ate a roll. A yeasty, doughy, grainy roll.
My question for the paleo guys: between the HFCS and grains should I expect death quickly or slow and painfully? Will I have diabetes tomorrow? What about the metabolic syndrome?
And since we’re talking about being metabolically paleo, more questions for iceguy and Valtor? Did you go forage for 3-4 hours today? And yesterday and every day before that? Or were you too busy looking foolish here and blogging about what an asshole I am? Because I think that sitting in front of your Ipad blogging for hours a day is very paleo metabolically. Oh wait.
He starts off pretty sarcastic, eh? Have patience, there’s some things that ought to be dealt with.
While we’re at it, if you guys want to be truly paleo metabolically, have you looked into malaria? What about PEM? Because both are endemic among the remaining H-G tribes? Do you go without food (save maybe the fruits/vegetables your 14 year old wife was able to gather) for days at a time for lack of a kill? What about starving for weeks on end when food isn’t available? Or do you just bop down to Whole Foods for that paleo-accurate grass fed beef and a big old cup of smug superiority?
Just curious how hardcore you guys really are.
So let’s get started. How hardcore? On a scale of a true paleo existence, probably not even 10% all things considered and if we’re being honest about it.
But then let’s admit this: fasting has profound metabolic (and likely health) effects. While most don’t do it chronically, most do it episodically. I fast daily at least 12 hours and extend that to 18-30 hours 1-2 times per week. I’ve gone as much as 48 and I’m interested in the idea of a yearly or semi-annual extended fast for up to a week. Haven’t done it, yet. It remains, however, a possibility.
Or or you willing to admit that, like the religious twats who take the bits of the Bible they like and ignore the rest, you’re just picking and choosing the easy shit and then pretending that you’re anything but a bunch of hypocrite posers?
I look forwards to your elucidation of this issue for me, thanks and have an ice day.
The "an ice day" is reference to one of my sign-offs in a previous post to Lyle.
But there is a point and it’s this: do you enjoy Christmas because it’s fun, family, warmth; you get it and, it’s all socially healthy — or do you really believe in Santa Clause…like…literally? Well, "Grok" is just the paleo version of Santa.
We’re getting the benefit of a mythology we’ve created for our own convenience. Now, in the case of a paleo-styled life, there’s a scientific basis. The idea is to take the good stuff and leave the bad (like, can we get off the "caveman" archetype, please?), and then combine it with the convenience of a modern civilization. We’re just stacking the deck in our favor.
No, HFCS isn’t going to kill you, Lyle (little difference from plain sugar and bad enough as that goes), and most of us have some fruit. Here’s a novel idea. Eat some fruit in warm months, tubers in cold months? Would that be paleo-retarded? Perhaps it’s fine to eat both year round, but is is it going to hurt, doing it that way?
And incidentally, I’m not just being a facetious asshole with some of the above questions (just mostly a facetious asshole). I’ve noticed, that like all good religious believers, the paleo guys like to pick and choose. So when someone like Valtor says ‘Oh, we’re just trying to be metabolically like caveman’, I feel it necessary to point out that the diet was only a part of the whole picture. Of course it’s the part of the picture that is easiest to fake in the modern western world.
So, see? There’s some sincerity and that’s essentially why I decided to do this. And, by the way? If you’re going to be an asshole — like Lyle & I — just fuckin’ admit it. Get it over with. You’ll thank yourself later. I hate liars and posers far more than assholes I have issues with.
At the very least, in our evolutionary past there was:
Lots of daily activity (and much of the paleocult ideas about exercise in our past is humorously wrong; we are not sprinters for example).
But we can sprint (how did that happen, outta the blue?). Do you deny that it affords no benefit, to sprint? I do it infrequently, myself, but I can’t deny the long-lasting well-being and muscle expression when I do, since I personally begin to get muscle tight all over and love doing isometrics. Same thing when I drink a bit too much whiskey — serious, I’d love an explanation for that one.
Intermittent food supply (this is sometimes debated in the literature but odds are it went on); we know from the IF and CR literature that this has profound metabolic effects.
Now you’ve hit my sweet spot. I think episodic or intermittent fasting is just the bomb; I’ve been big into it for a couple of years and have done lots of self experimenting instead of relying on research around people I don’t know or trust. My very first fast was 30 hours and I did a 30 minute high volume workout at 24 hours in. It was a profound experience that I’ve been repeating ever since, in various forms. At one point, I wanted to test the idea that one might go hypoglycemic — since that’s what animals always do when they hunt, because they’re fucking hungry — So I did. 80s fasting before the workout, 105 after. I’ve repeated it. Gluconeogenesis. It really works. Why might that be?
OK, he writes some other stuff but let’s make this readable. It’s just more of the same. But then the standard objection.
…Of course there is also the short average lifespan. When 25 is middle aged and 40 is decrepit, a whole host of diseases don’t show up b/c you die before they can occur. In fact, I’ve suggested that most of the paleo guys do that: fuck off and die when they turn 40. That’s paleo!
Setting aside the facetiousness he’s already admitted to, this is simply ignorance, perhaps excusable because it’s so pussy easy & prevalent. So I’ll just give links, ’cause I’m getting tired.
- paleo Life Expectancy
- Mortality and Life Expectancy of the Inuit
Hey Lyle: go ahead and work out the menopause deal in the context of evolution and longevity, unless, of course, you’re one of those "religious twats" who think we dropped outta the sky some 6,000 years ago.
[Some more of the same ranting.]
Make no mistake, I firmly agree that there are things to be learned from studying our evolutionary past. But Cordain and the rest are falling into the trap of a self-perpetuating ideology/cult/religion.
And that’s paleobullshit, my friend. The worst kind.
Here’s why you think that, Lyle, and I’m only making the effort because I get your central or essential objection: it’s a myth, man. paleo is Kitava to Inuit, 70% starch carb to about 2% carb, and everything in between.
This is merely — or it should & ought to be — a framework for each individual to figure out what works best for them, within the context of Real Foods.
Yes, in the end, that’s all it’s about. Let people quibble over nightshades & tubers & carb levels. If they’re eating real, whole foods, let them have their Grok-Santa. You’re attacking a red-clad straw man, Lyle. Or, let me put it this way: knowing they’ll eventually understand, how much sense does it make to assault kids enamored of the literal vision of him?
We’re onto something good here, Lyle. Maybe not perfect in the scathing light of scientific inquiry, but have you taken a look around, lately? How much stupidity do you see? And now there are people from all walks spouting evolutionary doctrine, albeit imperfectly and perhaps exuberantly too literally. That’s the way I’d expect a good thing to go, in the beginning.
You might think to thank your lucky stars.
And have an ice day.