Avocado Sign Fail

Seen at Safeway the other day.

Sign Fail
"Large Hass Avocado"

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. Elliot on March 4, 2010 at 22:58

    I’ve been buying Large Hass Avocados for years and always thought “Hass” rhymed with “boss”. Oh well, I’m sure I’ve made up for with plenty of other puerile puns and double entendres. I’ll admit it, I’m childish enough to enjoy South Park, Family Guy, and Tosh.0. My wife mostly rolls her eyes at these shows, but I have been able to get her laughing hysterically now and again.

    That said, the inexplicable loss of the suffix “-ure” of late is a pet peeve of mine.

    OK, who wants some home-made guacamole?

  2. Marnee on March 4, 2010 at 11:47

    I don’t get it. What’s wrong?

  3. Allison on March 4, 2010 at 11:57

    “2 for $3.00 each”

  4. Dave on March 4, 2010 at 12:38

    Not really a fail. The “EA” bit is to denote that they are sold individually, as opposed to, say, 2-packs or boxes. All the signs have something there.

  5. Richard Nikoley on March 4, 2010 at 12:40

    Say the headline description out loud, all three words.

    • Christoph Dollis on March 4, 2010 at 13:52

      Yeah, I got that right away.

      Personally, I thought it was a winning sign!

      I’ll take some large ass avocados please, with a side serving of large ass!

    • Dave on March 4, 2010 at 13:01

      Aaaah… I see.

  6. Lucy on March 4, 2010 at 12:53

    I’ve never pronounced Hass that way…(always say Haas…Hawss)

    • Aaron Blaisdell on March 4, 2010 at 16:15

      Me too, which is why I also didn’t get it.

    • Richard Nikoley on March 4, 2010 at 16:19

      But it wasn’t haas, it was hass.

    • Allison on March 4, 2010 at 16:23

      I see it now. hahaha

    • Mark on November 7, 2016 at 10:35

      I pronounce it as harse which is still funny

    • Mark on November 7, 2016 at 10:36

      Haas avocados in general I should add! They’ve always been harse avocados to me!

  7. MarkD on March 4, 2010 at 13:14

    I must have a puerile sense of humour I giggled like Homer Simpson as soon as I saw the photo

    • Richard Nikoley on March 4, 2010 at 13:18

      Relief! At least I wasn’t the only one.

  8. TPSW on March 4, 2010 at 13:16

    And here I was thinking that you were pointing out the remedial 2/3.00 followed by the 1.50 ea. Like the math is to taxing for the consumer to figure out.

  9. Kristina on March 4, 2010 at 13:19


    That’s the way the francophones around here would say it. They put an “h” in front of any word starting with a vowel. 🙂

  10. pecanmike on March 4, 2010 at 13:26

    Thats just good old fashioned Beavis and Butthead humor.

  11. Sterling on March 4, 2010 at 14:18

    I really like large hASS avocados.

  12. Nathaniel on March 4, 2010 at 14:43

    Hehehe hehe hehehe. You said “hASS.”

  13. Flying Burrito Nola on March 4, 2010 at 18:19

    Dang, this is an arse-ome blog!

  14. Travis on March 4, 2010 at 18:57

    Excuse me, are you out of the large hASSES that are on sale?

    Ummmm …. oh, yes, we are.

    I’d like a raincheck for 4 large hASSES please.

  15. Charentais on March 4, 2010 at 20:54

    You say Haas, and I say Hass:

    Haas, hass, hass, haas, let’s call the whole thing off.

    On an aside, I really like the fact that an “Avocado Central” exists.

  16. Cynthia on March 5, 2010 at 01:20

    Hey Richard, there’s an article in Washington Post about the new Atkins book (with the usual moronic commenters too…).

    Another opportunity to educate?

  17. Tim Rangitsch on March 5, 2010 at 07:33

    That is sofa king funny!

  18. Ginastarke on April 12, 2010 at 20:26

    lol – think Large Haas is funny?
    here’s the punchline – what avocados are actually named after!
    Avocados got their name from the Spanish explorers. They couldn’t pronounce the Aztec word for the fruit, know as ahuacatl, “testicle,” because of its shape. The Spanish called the aguacate, leading to the guacamole we know today.

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