Face it, vegans. It’s the truth. Vitamin B12 deficiency is an issue. Now, you can evade the problem, pretending it doesn’t exist, or cope however you choose to cope.
I gather that many vegans (I’m not one, but I pay attention) supplement B12. Well, I must ask: if this is the diet intended by God, Nature or Darwin, does it make sense that you must take some man-made, processed, encapsulated supplement to function normally? B12 is hugely important and often, ramifications of deficiency don’t show up for years.
I have solved this huge dilemma; I’ll state it point blank! How, you may ask, can I be vegan, shun processed foods including supplementation, and still be good to go on vitamin B12? This novel, creative and wholly natural (and raw) solution began back when I noted a post from Dr. Seale and blogged about it. Dr. Seale: “any B12 present in animal foods is only because of bacterial contamination.”
You can read the post, but here’s a summary which will give you all the background you need. Humans don’t produce a lot of B12 that can be absorbed. We produce a lot, but in the colon, via bacteria, but it’s too late. By then, it’s essentially poop. Ruminants, on the other hand, produce B12 in the rumen, well ahead of the digestive tract, so it’s absorbed, which is why ruminant animal flesh (cows & such) is high in B12.
Thus, the dilemma. Vegans don’t eat or use animal products, so B12 is a problem. It’s the truth. A hard fact. But do not worry because I have the ultimate — raw-ultimate — solution. And this is free, for now. I may — if it takes off — look to marketing channels later but right now I’m just concerned about an obvious problem for my fellow human beings. And if you don’t believe that, then consider this a market test, no charge.
So; OK, yea, since I’m not asking you to pay for my discovery, a five paragraph lead-up should be about right, if not excessive. I am a bit self indulgent (ask my wife). I just wanted you to keep hanging on: to the punch line.
If you took the time to read the link, above, which is not necessary, you’ll know that ruminants have no problem getting B12. But we’re not ruminants. Neither were our primate ancestors. Yes, they had big huge guts and small brains, so they could spend their days eating fibrous vegetation and digest it — they too had a B12 "problem" (well, not really, as you’ll see). Since they’re non-human animals and not subject to the social norms that we’re subject to going on eons, they know how to get loads and gobs of B12 without even eating a single animal.
Are you ready to see how, my vegan friends? Now, this is a goldmine, I’m sure; but I’m all wrapped up in paleo at the moment and have certain designs on monetization once I feel right about it. What I’m saying is that I’m kinda putting this idea into the public domain. Run with it. Hey, I may eventually look at business opportunities, but I’m very, very busy — not only with my blog, but with a company I own. Bad timing; because, this solves the whole thing, and it’s raw too! Not only can you market to the processed food vegans, moderate "clean" vegans, but also to the raw vegans. Basically, to vegans. All vegans.
The truth is, I thought long and hard about this. Frankly, business has been going less than stellar and for a number of reasons, I have been considering a move. This opportunity — to solve the vegan B12 deficiency once and for all — was on the top of my list.
Alright, at this point I’m self-loathing for indulging myself in keeping it so suspenseful. I apologize. Those who know my blog know I kinda do what I want, I’m not very polished, and clearly, this is no exception. I am truly hopeless on a number of levels.
As it is with many great discoveries, particularly those that lift your fellow man — and who’s more moral and virtuous than a vegan? — I just kinda figured this would be worth it in the end.
So onward. No more suspense. The idea came to me — get this — from a YouTube video. Let’s see if you catch the amazing marketing opportunity, as I did (patting myself on the back), so quickly. But if not, don’t worry because I’ll spell it out after the video. (I’m giving it all away, at this point).
But wait! I wanted to be sure. Is that just an aberration, or is it real? That is, do primates really practice this form of B12 supplementation regularly? Well, indeed they do; and I suppose frequent zoo goers, as well as zoologists out in the wild, can substantiate that.
Now, let’s get serious here, vegans. It’ll be a hard loaf to swallow to try and get vegans to eat their own poop for vitamin B12 (even though it’ll be fresh, raw, and potentially the richest source). But who needs that? We’re fat, happy, well fed. Good enough is good enough.
Here’s what I propose: Let’s encapsulate fresh, raw poop — from ruminants or primates (intervention studies could later determine which is more effective in raising B12 levels). Can you imagine the premium you could charge if it had to be air tight, refrigerated, so the bacteria could keep doing their thing all the while?
Well, I’ve gone on long enough and don’t wish to insult your intelligence. I’ve given away the whole thing and am quite certain that someone is going to pick up on this and beat us to market. Nonetheless, I’m here and available for consultation towards an eventual marketable product in natural, raw, vitamin B12 supplementation.
…And it’s not a moment too soon, seems to me. I got wind of an article in the last day or so: The Rise of the Power Vegans. Sobering. But what an opportunity, given the above. Let’s review.
…a growing number of America’s most powerful bosses have become vegan. Steve Wynn, Mort Zuckerman, Russell Simmons, and Bill Clinton are now using tempeh to assert their superiority. As are Ford Executive Chairman of the Board Bill Ford (F), Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, venture capitalist Joi Ito, Whole Foods Market (WFMI) Chief Executive Officer John Mackey, and Mike Tyson. Yes, Mike Tyson, a man who once chewed on human ear, is now vegan. His dietary habit isn’t nearly as impressive as that of Alec Baldwin, though, who has found a way to be both vegan and fat at the same time. […]
Wynn was converted when his friend—telecom mogul and recent vegan Gulu Lalvani—made him watch Eating, a documentary in which director Mike Anderson explains his strict meat- and oil-free diet. "I watched it, and I changed the next morning," says Wynn. "Bang! Just like that." The transition was eased by the fact that Wynn happened to be on a yacht with a personal chef. As soon as he got home, he began spreading the gospel as only a mogul can—like buying 10,000 copies of Eating, one for each of his employees. "I’m providing the ass for the insurance. If they’re sick, we’re picking up the tab," says Wynn. "If I can keep them healthier, I’m acting like a smart businessman." […]
For others, veganism is a moral imperative. In 2000, Twitter co-founder Biz Stone went to visit Farm Sanctuary, an animal rescue organization with a location in upstate New York, and returned a vegan. […]
Veganism’s image, however, could still use some updating. While it remains associated with indie rock stars, such as Moby, and people with pixie haircuts, such as Ellen DeGeneres, it also counts among its newest converts ex-NBA star John Salley, Atlanta Falcons tight end Tony Gonzalez, former National Hockey League brawler Georges Laraque, professional poker player Daniel Negreanu, and, less recently, pop star and amateur bodybuilder Madonna. Ultimate Fighting Championship mixed martial artist and vegan Luke Cummo says that he drinks his own urine.
And there you go! The real punchline I’ve been so itching to get at for the last hour or so drafting this.
This is a marketing opportunity, folks. Look, if drinking your own urine can pass muster with Bloomberg Bussinessweek without so much as a redirect question or blink of an eye…
…how far off can eating poop be? Email me. I smell a gold mine…in poop.
Finally, my vegan friends will be able to hold their heads high and proclaim, rightly, that they are by no means vitamin B12 deficient and in fact, probably fare better than the average meat eater.
It just takes a bit of poop.