Penis Enlargement: Lose Weight

My wife is a long time Oprah fan.

I can’t hardly stand it, but at least she has her own DVR. She’s been watching the tear-jerking shows in advance of the Big Vacuum that is the — thank Zeus and all gods invented since — forever absence of Oprah as a daily spectacle.

But this post is about penis size. Penis Size. PENIS SIZE. Personally, I might ask, ‘how very hard is your cock’ — no caps — but that’s just just me.

So in this clip of an episode she interrupted my afternoon scotch for, there was a guy who weighed 260 sumthin’, lost 104 pounds and his wife was quite happy. And, and, this was way back when OZ had decided it might be a far better future to divert from open heart cardiac surgery practice to regular whoring appearances on Her show.

[How many women hold Oprah in higher esteem than their fantasy God, I might ask, at this point, but I’m just a rude fucker, so dismiss it.]

Anyway, the punchline, according to OZ, is that you get a 1″ longer cock per 35 lbs lost. It tapers off after a coupla inches, according to him. The guy who lost the 104 pounds had already lost 35 when he heard that episode and stepped up his game.

His wifee was all smiles.

I’l have to say that this was roughly my experience and I recall joking about it with close friends during the process.

Anyone else? Care to share? In a paleo context, I’d also have to say that my propensity to rouse my wife at 2am while non existent before, is not so uncommon.

And hey, have any of you guys recovered your teenage, natural alarm clock?

Oh, sorry. I had some recent medical studies around here to disparage. But I wanted to talk about the Human Animal condition.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. Derek on July 21, 2011 at 01:51

    Hi Richard:

    Derek here, thanks for the link to the testosterone report you’ve made and I think this post has to do a lot with a Paleo lifestyle being very testosterone friendly, and testosterone is one of the main keys to sexual desire and performance.

    In fact when I had testosterone problems and I searched for a natural solution, I started with the 4 hour body book and the protocol there (based in increasing fats, dietary cholesterol and vitamins A+D), it was a good starting point.

    From there I was researching what foods and supplements raised testosterone and then a friend told me “Dude, that’s Paleo” and I said “what?” I discovered a Paleo lifestyle then.

    Basically if a lot of insuline is present, for example, testosterone is not, and a high carb diet full of insulin spikes does no good for our wood (Lamest rhyme ever, I know).

    Paleo diet + Exercise without overtraining (not traditional cardio, it plummets testosterone, I mean weight and interval training) + Proper sleep = healthy testosterone

    Besides that recently I was reading a new study about testosterone and aging, and it concluded that age has not to do with testosterone, healthy males that were fit kept their levels through age, concluding that it’s not a matter of age, it’s a matter of fitness, aging men tend to become less and less the “warrior type” of men with increasing sedentary lifestyles…

    And yes, I recovered man, and my hardness is better than ever. And if someone here wants to ice the cake, try kegel exercises, I swear by them and some scientific studies have found that they are as effective as Viagra for Erectile dysfunction, no joke.

    Best regards and thanks for your work, it helped me, really…


  2. Jamie on July 20, 2011 at 20:54

    Got wood?

    Yeah – the old morning glory seemingly thinks I’m still 16 years old. A good indicator if I’m getting run down. If I’m hitting all my training and recovery targets, it’s there. If not… it’s not.

  3. Thomas on July 20, 2011 at 21:07

    Although I’m admittedly a reasonably young-ish guy who has had a healthy libido his entire life, I have to admit that during the past year on paleo, it has DEFINITELY become even more voracious. More importantly, my girlfriend – who has been eating/living/playing/running/jumping/dancing paleo with me this whole time – has had her libido go up by about twenty seven orders of magnitude.

    Talking to the handful of other females I know on paleo, this seems to be the theme across the board. As far as side effects go, I’d call this a pretty welcome one.

  4. donkeyrock on July 20, 2011 at 21:07

    I notice an uptick in libido when I eat grass fed beef, but not when I eat regular store bought beef. Grass fed beef tallow also helps.

    • Richard Nikoley on July 20, 2011 at 21:09

      Good grilled pork chops seems to make me hard all over.

  5. Steve on July 20, 2011 at 21:29

    I had heard about the same, 1/4″ for 15 lbs is what Menshealth told me. So about two years ago, I went hardcore Paleo for awhile, and lost about 30 lbs. And being a guy, I made sure I measured before and after. It is a true fact. Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon, and lost what I gained. Getting back into it though. Thanks for reminding me of one more GREAT reason to lose weight. Let’s face it, as a guy, it may really be my biggest reason. And Richard, thanks for putting up what the fuck you want on your own blog, it is why I come here. I love Sisson and all the other guys, but not only do I learn tons from all your hard work and study, you are a damned interesting guy with interests outside the “Paleo” world. You have a life, and I enjoy reading about it. Thanks for being willing to share!

    • Richard Nikoley on July 20, 2011 at 22:26

      Steve. I appreciate that you grok my distinguishing characteristics. I have a few more up my sleeve. In time. 🙂

  6. Jack on July 20, 2011 at 22:31

    Here’s my experience.

    I am 38 years old and I remember that in my 20s, my dick used to get really hard. All my ex-girlfriends in that time frame complimented me on it. But once I hit 29 or so I started to gain weight and stopped lifting weights and my penis never got super hard again. Soon, it was nothing but soft wood for me. Along with a reduced libido. My bf% reached about 23-24%. Ick.

    Well, I started a Paleo diet this January doing something similar to Martin Berkham’s Leangains approach for weight training(but not exactly). I did a 16 hour daily IF with two Paleo friendly carb-refeeds a week (either white rice or potatoes). I eliminated wheat and cereal grains, hfcs, vegetable oils, soy products, processed sugar and did my best to lower O-6 consumption. I also started lifting weight 3-4 times a weak HIT style with incremental increases in either weight or reps. I also did some HIIT type cardio 1-2 times a week.

    The results: total body recomposition. I lost about 30 pounds overall but now have a 30″ waist with a 49″ back. I’m in sick shape; so much so that when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize myself. I look a decade younger than my age (no bullshit – before going Paleo my ex-barber asked me if I was 45, now my new barber asked me if I was 29). I had to buy a whole new wardrobe as everything I owned draped on me. Because of my consumption of butter oil and coconut oil (I suspect), my hair has basically lost all its gray that it had prior and my skin is smooth all over with both my elbows and my heels being completely regenerated. Also, my exzema on my hands disappeared.

    Now to the money point. MY ERECTIONS ARE HUGE!!! I am in fucking awe. My dick is like it was in my early 20s. And it gets hard when the wind blows. Really, I’ll be taking a shower and there it is standing at attention and it is hard; so hard it can cut glass (hah – love that one). I just like to stare at it for a few minutes in appreciation because I haven’t seen it like this for a god-damned decade! And sex? Wow. I mean my dick is now super sensitive. It was taking my up to an hour to climax before with soft wood. Now, shit, I can climax in less than 5 minutes. And be ready again ten minutes later! (I can last longer of course but its nice to know that I can once again have a quickie!)

    Needless to say, with my new found sexual vigor I went out and took a PUA “bootcamp” and practiced up on my “Game” skills and went out and got me a 24 year old girlfriend. All I do now is have sex with her. Really, this whole Paleo-gig (channeling Robb Wolf) has turned me into a frakin’ sex fiend. Young girls rock. And sexing up young girls with your Paleo-enhanced super hard erections rocks even more!

    So, that is my story. It is something I never expected in my wildest dreams. I just started Paleo because I was a fat bastard (well kind of) and because I was getting some chest pains. I got scared and that motivated me to action. But now I’m a god damned sex maniac who loves his penis and marvels at his erections.

    Fucking insane.

    • Richard Nikoley on July 20, 2011 at 22:59

      Jack, I’m just really glad you shared your experience because I know exactly what you mean.

      I love my wife, so theres where I am at 50.

      Still working on getting a female partner into the mix, though :).

    • JM on July 21, 2011 at 10:59

      Jack, you are my hero.

  7. George Phillips on July 21, 2011 at 01:09

    2008. Age 56. BP 149/90. 195 pounds. (5 ft 7 in). Going ‘downhill’ fast in all departments.
    2011. Age 59. BP 117/70. 147 pounds. The ‘diamond cutter’ is back!

  8. Anivair on July 21, 2011 at 04:39

    My wife claims that I’ve gotten noticeably bigger since starting paleo and losing almost 100 pounds. I won’t complain.

  9. wrightio on July 21, 2011 at 05:13

    Hehe… you managed to put a smile on my face each time i arrive in here. It’s a pleasant and welcome change to reading how our government is proceeding to fuc* up Australia for me and everyone in it! Carbon Tax.. pfft!
    I enjoy the diversity, you are obviously someone with intelligence and perspective all wrapped up in an irreverent package of “this is what i think, deal with it… or not”
    If someone asked me who i would like to have dinner with, I would find a spot for you without question. It would be a hoot!

  10. Sara on July 21, 2011 at 06:16

    Not surprising. I am the mother of two little boys and have read more than once that moms should not be alarmed if their baby boy’s penis seems to disappear. It is just all the baby fat! I never quite understood how that would look – and still don’t! My boys never had a lot of baby fat, they are slim like their daddy.

  11. gallier2 on July 21, 2011 at 06:45

    So the drift of it is, high carb => emasculation. that may explain Don Matesz’ recent change … 😉

  12. Emily on July 21, 2011 at 07:18

    A facebook friend says her husband is now all-out paleo after reading my stuff about it – and she wants to send me flowers.

  13. Razwell on July 21, 2011 at 09:43

    Hi, Richard

    Speaking of penis size , penis jokes, etc I think you would REALLY get a good laugh at the Jonah Falcon crank calls from Richard and Sal on Howard Stern as well as Elegant Elliot Offen on YouTube. They are both hilarious. LOL !!!!!!

    Take care,


  14. Rob on July 23, 2011 at 14:56

    Post a pic! Weiner would.

  15. Jscott on June 22, 2012 at 16:12

    Clever sir, clever. Did not delete but deleted the short term memory. I had to Google, “Free the animal” and Penis. I laughed at the redundancy. I now have one more funny thing to say (if only funny in my own head) during awkward times with the opposite sex.

    This is the second scotch I owe you.

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