[See the update at the end of the post.]
I guess it was a day or so after #AHS11, when I was drafting the post about my presentation and gathering the stream of live Twitter reactions, that on a whim, I decided to search for my last name. Some people I guess weren’t aware of my @rnikoley handle and so just used my last name. The very last Tweet in that search was a guy posting from August 2 that Anthony Colpo had taken a whack at me in one of his posts.
I immediately called my secretary at the office:
“Brandy. Richard. I know this isn’t in your job description and it’s not like going and fetching my coffee, but could you do me a favor?”
“Sure, Rich. What is it?”
“Well there’s this diet guru — he even wrote a Bible — and I hear tell that he’s talking shit about me. Now, see, he has a top million blog in the world, and I have a top 100,000 blog. See my dilemma?”
“Oh, of course. You’re just curious, but you don’t want to dirty your hands.”
“Exactly. I knew you’d understand.”
So she forwards me the relevant section and the link.
The most ironic thing is that the low-carbers who need to listen to me the most are actually the ones who resent and attack me the most. I’ve not read it myself (I may not be Charlie Sheen but I nevertheless employ the oft-used celebrity approach of refusing to read all the bullshit that is written about me) but apparently there is an angry post written by some overweight joker who runs what would appear from its URL to be an animal liberation blog…this post appeared shortly after… […] …Fat-animal-liberation-guy immediately swung (or is that waddled) into action and typed out a post claiming yours truly needed to “get a life”. According to a friend who has read the post, he simultaneously admitted he could not lose his ample excess blubber, but professed his undying devotion to Eades and low-carb dieting any old how. […]
Let’s think about this for a moment:
- Regular blogger accuses infrequent blogger of needing to “get a life”;
- Fat bloke accuses lean bloke of having it all wrong when it comes to fat loss;
- Fat bloke even vigorously defends perpetrator of dietary misinformation responsible for keeping fat bloke fat.
THUD!! [Sound of yours truly falling off his chair laughing his ass off]
I’m not sure whether there is any hope for the aforementioned blogger – he’s probably too busy sitting at his computer all day admonishing others to get a life – but the sad reality is he’s the exact kind of person that most needs my advice. He’s just the type of person who desperately needs to shed his emotional attachment to low-carbohydrate eating and view nutrition for what it is – the means of providing sustenance to the human body. He needs to adopt a far more scientific stance, and base his nutritional decisions on what is actually scientifically demonstrable under tightly controlled conditions. Whether Fat-animal-liberation-guy wants to acknowledge it or not, seven decades’ worth of metabolic ward studies have completely failed to show the existence of a metabolic advantage. What they have shown is that the overriding determinant of fat-derived weight loss is a calorie deficit.
I was a bit surprised, not because of what was written, but that none of the thousands of readers of this blog emailed me about it or even dropped a link in comments. I’m used to getting dozens of emails per day from people making sure I saw this or that, in case I hadn’t. Am I to infer that almost nobody actually reads his blog — his blog my secretary, Brandy, characterized as having “excessively long run-on posts”?
The post he’s referring to, without having actually having read it, is this: Isn’t It Time For Anthony Colpo to Get a Life? Just so you can reconcile what’s quoted above with what I wrote in the post, here, allow me to quote myself. Here’s my low-carb, metabolic advantage zealotry exposed naked, for all to see.
I kinda hate to plug the one of his works that’s unparalleled: The Great Cholesterol Con. While there are a couple of other books along these lines, Anthony Colpo’s book is the most comprehensive, well researched, and really serves as a great reference. I keep it handy at all times. […]
Is Dr. Eades right about that? I don’t honestly know […]
That’s certainly not my experience […]
I’m not going to get into the arguments either way because you know what? I just don’t care that much. I know that for myself eating low-carb paleoish, I steadily lost weight. […]
Metabolic advantage, caloric deficit, or what? Does it matter? All I really know for sure is that when I’m hungry I can eat a lot, a little or a ginormous amount and while keeping it high in fat and low in carb I have continued steadily to lose fat. […]
So, the advantage of low carb might be that you get to take advantage of the caloric deficit days and you get somewhat of a pass on the pig-out days against washing away all of your loss. […]
I don’t know. […]
Lot’s of questions and really, in spite of the studies on either side I’m not really inclined to put much stock in either one. […]
Given my absolute certainty of the efficacy and metabolic advantage of low carb, as evidenced by the above quotes, I guess I ought to get tapping and write a “Bible.” Hey, maybe I should call it “The Fat Loss Bible,” or something. No doubt I’d want to imply with my title that what I know is the absolute end of fat loss brilliance in a dietary context. No More Questions. The End.
I suppose I’d also need to come clean with my other writings over the years, zealously advocating low-carb for everyone. I mean, I’ve written shit like, “”paleo is equator to Arctic Circle, Sea Level to 16,000 feet and everything in-between.” And much to my dismay, I’ve been pointing out for several years that the Kitavans eat 70% of energy from starchy carbs and are healthy, lean, and live long, vibrant lives. I really should learn to tone down the false rhetoric.
And then I went way overboard with the low carb advocacy when I blogged about eating potatoes and even more recently, white rice. And I had some hominy grits with my bacon & eggs this morning. I’m really in a low carb rut.
I’ve had the audacity to advocate for self experimentation (so long as your result = low carb).
And to be as ambiguous as possible — so as not to be pinned down and further expose my low carb weakness and bias — when asked whether I eat zero, low, moderate or high carb, I answer: “yes.”
Then there’s the failed weight loss, hopelessly remaining the fatty I was destined to be, no doubt exacerbated by low carb.
“You know I hate to ask you to do stuff that’s not the workaday, but just one eentsy, teensy little favor?”
“He talked more shit about you, didn’t he.”
“You got it, girl. But this time, I’m writing my own Bible. He’ll see.”
“Uh, yea, OK Rich. I’m sure it will be good. Hey, I’m late for lunch with Jackie. Can this wait until after.”
“Of course. I’m well into the introduction, already.”
The quote and link arrived an hour or so later.
As for Richard Nikoley – or “Angry Dick” as he’s reportedly referred to – when I was told of his rant, I laughed, shook my head, and proceeded to forget about it. Well, mostly. I must admit, the thought of a fat loss failure attacking someone who successfully stays lean always stuck in the back of my mind as a particularly bizarre example of reality evasion. But then again, irrationalism and delusion aren’t exactly uncommon traits in the low-carb community, so I simply filed the Angry Dick incident away in the “screwball files” of my brain’s hard drive.
His friend is a fucking Rock Star and I’m seriously considering doing my Mea Culpa’s to Anthony, asking him for contact info, and replacing Brandy with the unnamed friend. #AngryDick is a rather obscure Twitter hash tag that I was even unaware of months back, as those using it in reference to me never used it in combo with my handle.
Jesus, talk about friend, personal secretary and admin assistant all it one. Brandy would have never sniffed that out.
But just what about Anthony Colpo as Real Man, and not like, say, a little girl? Yea, yea; I know he recently went skydiving tandem, and there was lots of girlish tongue wagging. And yes, when I jumped out of a plane in 1982 during college in Oregon, there was no such thing as tandem, so I just had to jump out on my own. First time, second time, and third time: a total chute malfunction requiring me to come down on the reserve. Shit, I may have wagged my tongue. Who knows?
And you can also learn to fly a hang glider tandem, nowadays, but when I did it, you had to run down the mountain all on your own. And I still do, like just a few weeks ago. But when you see that one minute video, don’t be fooled. That big belly is not, actually, a reserve parachute. It’s a clear result: low carb zealotry.
And so while I was all prepared to call out Anthony for acting like a little girl, I guess I’m just going to have to come to Jesus.
After all, he wrote the Bible.
3/3/2012: Things have changed substantially. It’s all laid out in this post by Anthony Colpo.