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Free The Animal

Ex Navy Officer. Owner of Businesses. Digital Entrepreneur. Expat Living in Thailand. 5,000 Biting Blog Post on Everything since 2003.

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Archives for January 2013

Phil Mickelson: Tell Californians To Go Fuck Themselves

January 31, 2013 26 Comments

In a pure stroke of serendipity, I got an email from a friend this morning just after I’d posted this to my close, real-space friends and family on my personal Facebook page:

Just heard the “News” that some player on the 49ers said something stupid about gays, has to do the whole “public apology” deal, yada yada.

Why is this “News?”

Modest suggestion. From now on, how about at the end of every news program, local and national, from here out, they end the program thusly:

“In other news, a bunch of people said a bunch of stupid shit today.”

The problem is, I was only half right, once I saw the subject of my friend’s email. That last line ought to have read:

“In other news today, a bunch of people said a bunch of stupid shit, and a bunch said unpopular but nonetheless true shit. You figure out which is which; but in any case, nobody should call for public apologies and nobody should give them. That’s for children. get over it.”

Are you not sick to death with the infantile, public, self-immolation that must always follow anyone with any influence saying something that’s on their mind or heart, whether dumb or true? But, true—or even frustration inelegantly expressed—doesn’t seem to be part of the equation, ever. The only equation at issue is if some protected victim class like LGBT, womyn, “minorities,” handicapped—or people who like beer pong—take offense.

…Or, I guess, the pathetic privileged Californian in a state that has for decades squandered its accumulated capital as arguably the greatest state in America. I won’t even get into the financial disaster, the budget deficit, the drunken sailor spending, that fuckwad Jerry Brown, those wastes of sperm in the California legislature, that Girly Man Schwarzenegger—who was incidentally right when he called the aformention legislators the same name and then lost his will—all the while he was there to do something about it in the first place after Californians, in a rare moment of sanity, booted that shitstain Gray Davis.

Nope. Won’t talk about it. Why? Because everyone in the golf world is talking about Phil Michelson and his audacity to complain about tax increases for the privilege of living in a state on the brink of bankruptcy after decades of doing everything that can possibly be done wrong from a sound, fiscal standpoint. …Not to mention his privilege of living in “The Land of the Free.” It’s a coin toss which one is less responsible in pure fiscal pragmatic terms; but, one does have the self-granted privilege of being able to print its own money and the other does not.

You can go Google the whole thing, but so far as I can tell, there’s far more articles in support of Mickelson than this snide tripe by a brown-noser beta-male named Tony Nitti in Forbes. “I focus on tax policy, court decisions and planning opportunities.” Shorter Nitti: I’m a cheap little whore errand boy for legally sanctioned monopoly Mafioso.

In the end, most everyone’s either a parasite or a petty mobster, now. Either you’re among the roughly 49ish percent who get more government benefits than you pay in—making you a parasite whose immediate demise would be a net plus to society—or you’re among the rest agitating to become a net beneficiary, to live more and more at others’ expense, i.e., a petty mobster.

The class of folks who actually produce the most economies others benefit from…guys like Mickelson and others in the sports & entertainment industries, entrepreneurs, etc….oh, how dare they open their mouths and “offend” all the parasites and petty mobsters, to ‘whose grace, mercy and generosity they owe their very lives.’ Hell, aren’t they just lucky enough already? …And how dare they shine a light on the root envy that underlies all of it.

Here’s the deal. If Phil Mickelson vanished tomorrow, it would be an enormous, net financial loss to the golf world, and that flows down. The only reason that golf-fan world sees fit to pay Michelson the millions he gets every year is because his talent, consistency in employing it, and presence creates far more real dollars than that. All those TV shows, all that logo apparel, endorsements, golf courses…all the stuff down to the people who cook burgers and wash tables in the clubhouse caff: they all rely on Mickelson and others like him to keep that whole gig going.

I contend that this is business between Phil Mickelson and his fans, every single one of which is free to withdraw his or her support of him any time they feel like it, on any grounds. It is nobody else’s business in the whole world; and those without that status are just parasites and petty mobsters. Black & white.

In other words: Mr. President Obama, sir: you didn’t create that! Nor did you, Californians, or Americans in general; and so, far from offering a contrived apology for appeasement’s sake, Mr. Mickelson ought be telling you to go fuck yourselves.

It’s really too bad that Atlas Shrugged is only fiction.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: atlas shrugged, Gray Davis, Phil Michelson, Phil Mickelson, President Obama, state

America Lost Its Soul and Wants Socialism, Now; so Fuck It (America)

January 30, 2013 5 Comments

Laf.

You go, “foreigners.” Thanks for keeping the spirit we squandered, alive.

Fuck Obama and his Stupid Bitch. Said it way back when (2007), still saying it. Yea yea: fuck Bush, Clinton, Reagan, etc. etc.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Fuck Obama, Stupid Bitch

Rush to Equality

January 30, 2013 1 Comment

The Trees

There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas

The trouble with the maples
(And they’re quite convinced they’re right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light
But the oaks can’t help their feelings
If they like the way they’re made
And they wonder why the maples
Can’t be happy in their shade

There is trouble in the forest
And the creatures all have fled
As the maples scream ‘Oppression!’
And the oaks just shake their heads

So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights
‘The oaks are just too greedy
We will make them give us light’
Now there’s no more oak oppression
For they passed a noble law
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe and saw

Filed Under: General Tagged With: law

Sound the Bugles: A Crap-Bag Snack That May Not Be So Bad

January 30, 2013 14 Comments

220px Bugles package
 

My other indulgence yesterday, whilst in my dark cave watching Breaking Bad with all means of communication shut off, was a single serving-sized bag of Bugles.

I don’t know whether for lack of attention or that they just have not been around enough to grab attention, but I recall as a kid that they came in a box, and I always really liked the taste & light crunch. I don’t even recall eating them non-stop or anything, or very often at all. They just have a nice corny taste & crunch.

Couple of months or so ago, I noticed seeing them again, regularly, like at convenience stores & such. I was curious. I looked at the label of ingredients, used to seeing 2 inches of unpronounceable ingredients for almost everything in a bag out there.

But I thought wrong: “Degermed yellow corn meal, coconut oil, sugar, salt, baking soda.”

To me? Impressive, for crap in a bag. So, next time you get the urge, go for some of those instead of…like, Doritos, with a solid inch plus of “gluten free” ingredients.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Breaking Bad, coconut oil, gluten

Thanks

January 30, 2013 33 Comments

I went dark yesterday

Got up, turned off the phone, the iPad, the MacBook Air and didn’t rejoin the digital world again until this morning. My birthday gift to myself. Didn’t watch any TV—except episode after episode of Breaking Bad in a dark room (midway through season 3, now). Yea, I know, so don’t bother to link up The Family Guy.

The world could have burned down and I’d not have known, nor given a shit. Gotta do that more often. It was reminiscent of the days pre-90s, where I might be completely unreachable for days, weeks or even months at a time (especially while at sea, where day one is the best: that’s the day you get away from all the people trying to help you).

Woke up today, after 9 hours in the sac, got digital this morning. Downside: 88 unread emails. Many happy birthdays, FB notices on my wall, etc. Here’s the funniest thing I was sent.

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Crybabies

One of the more prescient; Marie, frequent commenter linked this (I pulled up a live version, but same deal).

It ought to be my theme song (another good live version from ’88). On the other hand, it doesn’t begin with “men who hold high places,” it begins at home.

And the men who hold high places
Must be the ones who start
To mould a new reality
Closer to the Heart
Closer to the Heart

The Blacksmith and the Artist
Reflect it in their art
Forge their creativity
Closer to the Heart
Yeah, it’s closer to the Heart

Philosophers and Ploughmen
Each must know his part
To sow a new mentality
Closer to the Heart
Yeah, it’s closer to the Heart

You can be the Captain and
I will draw the Chart
Sailing into destiny
Closer to the Heart

Thanks all. Onward.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Breaking Bad, FB, TV

Dogs Are Man’s Best Nemesis, When You Include Diet?

January 28, 2013 46 Comments

Going way way back, one of my favorite things to mock & ridicule for base ignorance was the Creationist—picture it—sitting there with a dog on one side, petting a cat on his lap…and the dog didn’t go after the cat. …Get this, because you’ll laf: millions of people in America fervently believe God created them like that, as companions. That’s one level of abject ignorance too dumb to even talk about, but another “sciency” one has cropped up.

Word is: dogs can digest starch!

It’s all the rage. I’ve been sent tons of links!

Yawn.

That’s the yawn and heres the lie: In Order To Live With People, Canines Evolved To Love Carbs (a link on Google…don’t really give a dog shit about which story, whether by Veronique Lacapra or anyone, or a “study” by Erik Axelsson). Here’s the pic from that “news,” which I didn’t even bother to read; because I’m dirty enough already (just walked my meat loving carnivores). Lesson: know DS before you even smell it; act accordingly; go from there.

dog1 custom 2253af7eb8b0e599851d2cdfb19829468a93ed52 s4
Bull…ah Dogshit

Tell you what. Go place a bowl of meat—raw even—alongside a bowl of cooked pasta. Dress it however the fuck your stupid mind would have you (…because if you don’t already know the answer and actually go to the trouble, you’re too fucking stupid to share breath with dog breath). Then toss the pasta in the trash, eat it yourself, or save it for lunch tomorrow where you’ll get approving nods in the lunchroom. Wipe the dirty, meat-laden bowl clean with a paper towel, if you even need to. That’s: evolution; and testing it.

Stupid, stupid, stupid people. You know what? Dogs ought be embarrassed on our behalf. Mine are. Right this minute, they’re down and hunkered. Soon as I told them that they were getting pasta instead of meat from now on, haven’t seen them since. …They know I get ideas all the time, and they’ve evolved to let me just work it out on my own, come to my senses over hours or days. They’ve found when it’s best to leave me alone.

…I did get an idea years back that they probably ought not be eating cheap grains in lieu of more expensive meat. This is why they turn their heads sideways and give me slack. They have faith in me.

Creationists have the stupidest, non answer for why we have companion animals like gods…opps…dogs…and cats, that aren’t exactly like gerbils & goldfish. I really haven’t looked into cats. For one, I just blogged about why. For two, their domestication has not deprived them of their essential survival abilities, which is why they live feral so very easy and naturally. But yea, cats come from Felis sylvestris, likely domesticated in The Fertile Crescent (that’s it; figure the rest out yourself; no more references so you don’t figure it out yourself).

…Way back when I was making fun of creationists over the evolution of cats & dogs—not even bothering to mention that evolution through natural selection happens every day in the lab, in test tubes and petri dishes—I was of the mind that humans had selectively bread wolf cubs (we know that genetically, all dogs come from wolves). It made sense. They’re so cute, so they say…so combine a woman who’ll unabashedly say so, and her fucker who’ll never admit it, but ridicule her instead—while holding and petting it—and you have a winning Yin-Yang combination.

Life, love, and 180.

They tried it. They’ve done various experiments with wolf cubs and while it’s possible and plausible, not practical in the context of survival in the wilderness. Essentially, you have to imprint each wolf cub as they grow neurons in the first few months by holding it close 24/7 so they smell you.

Fortunately, there’s a far more Occam’s Razor explanation, and it’s more evolutionarily logical to boot.

How about if wolves chose us? How come we automatically and so naturally assume that all selection is either natural; or if human motivated, explicitly engineered by us? We’re rather unique. It’s easy to understand how “we tame” pigeons and ducks around a pond (we bring food, they self-select). We tame bears in wildlife parks, too—where rangers have noted that the problem in designing food lockers is a measurable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest humans.

What if we were just so damn handsome  and capable as a species, so much so we toss food away? Imagine some wolves. …Garbage dumps. Whoa! Verim! Whoa! …And a lot easier to catch & eat than those fucking gazelles…muther fucker hard to cathch muther fuckers…. And get this, check this out: Watch what happens when I go over there and wag my tail. YOU SEE THAT!? Here, let me show you again. See? He smiled. Whoa. Whoa. …Wait! What’s that? Is he offering me a piece of meat fresh off the barbie?

Punchline

Wolves chose us. Dogs are the evolutionary, self-selected product of the laziest wolves. (All the variations in size, color, fur, are explainable from in-breeding—check it out yourselves.)

But dogs, like any animal including humans, are often insatiable, and that ever-present garbage dump offered a bounty beyond vermin. Dogs eat our garbage. It’s been that way for Ten Thousand Years. There’ no mystery about it.

Punchline II

No idea if this was addressed in the study I didn’t bother to read, because it was stupid on premise. Dogs live about 15ish years; humans, 70ish. Dogs have a five-fold evolutionary advantage, because evolution has zero to do with Earth’s rotation on its own axis and how long it takes to revolve around the sun, in terms of our counting time. Evolution deals with species generation. This is why you can observe profound evolution in a lab with bacteria that reproduce but live only hours, as well the offspring that reproduce and die. Rinse. Wash. Repeat. Over. And over. Evolution before your eyes.

There are species of flies, like fruit flies, where the same thing is observed. Worms too. Tons of stuff. But, you can be as ignorant as you want to be. Humans, on the other hand—the only one with a brain, but you really have to wonder—sit and wax on about not observing evolution.

Dogs don’t observe an even 10,000 year profound evolution amongst their own species either, even if they could understand.

Alright, just for all the stupid people who think this is any kind of news. Ready? Only going to do this once, though I’ve written it a hundred times in the past: humans not only evolved, they migrated. They became generalists, and as such, produce more starch digesting amylase in their saliva than even their primate ancestors. Does that mean starch is essential? Does the fact we can digest fat make eating fat essential? How about protein?

What’s essential is real food. We’ve developed the enzymatic and metabolic tools to digest and live off just about everything if we have to. Thriving is a different question. What’s best is the forever open question, and why some of us still have blogs worth a dog shit to read. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure neither humans or their dogs spent a single second grazing in wheat fields. But wolves came along, and appear to have developed a bit the same generality in the process to become our dogs.

Perhaps humans aren’t so bad. How could thousands of wolf, natural born killers been wrong?

…Oh wait. I just told Nuke (Nanuka, formally) that’s it’s all pasta from here out.

IMG 1489
 

Update: OK, here, my fat dogs, deprived of pasta and other starch (they get bits of starch here are there; good they can use it, but having a hammer doesn’t compel one to be a builder).

rotornuke
rotornuke

Oops, just went and gave away my wifi password.

 

Filed Under: General Tagged With: dogs, evolution, fat, Nuke Nanuka, Occam Razor, Yin Yang

Gun LOL: Seattle Cops Get Pwned

January 28, 2013 22 Comments

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Pwned

Nothing gives me an eye roll quite as much as hearing the phrase “gun culture” applied to America. Alls I can’t figure out is which is dominant. Is it the “gun culture,” “big-car culture,” The “drive-in, diners & dives culture,” or something else altogether?

Or, do all these sub-cultures simply have a common thread running through them, manifest when people are so messily left to their own proclivities to pursue their own values for they own sakes?

Seattle Gun BuyBack Get’s JACKED! Turns Into a Damn Gun Show! LOL

Police officers in Seattle, Washington held their first gun buyback program in 20 years this weekend, underneath interstate 5,  and soon found that private gun collectors were working the large crowd as little makeshift gun shows began dotting the parking lot and sidewalks. Some even had “cash for guns” signs prominently displayed.

Police stood in awe as gun enthusiasts and collectors waved wads of cash for the guns being held by those standing in line for the buyback program.

People that had arrived to trade in their weapons for $100 or $200 BuyBack gift cards ($100 for handguns, shotguns and rifles, and $200 for assault weapons) soon realized that gun collectors were there and paying top dollar for collectible firearms. So, as the line for the chump cards got longer and longer people began to jump ship and head over to the dealers.

That’s just all sorts of in-your-fucking-face wonderful, giving me a needed laf and a moral high-five all in one, on a Monday morning.

John Diaz, Seattles Police Chief,  wasn’t pleased with the turn of events stating “I’d prefer they wouldn’t sell them,” but admitted it’s perfectly legal for private individuals to buy and sell guns, FOR NOW. Mayor Mike McGinn said at a news conference the private transactions are a loophole that needs to be closed. “There’s no background checks, and some (guns) could be exchanged on the streets that shouldn’t be in circulation.”

But Schuyler Taylor, a previous gun retailer attending the event in hopes of buying weapons, asked “Why not offer them cash versus a gift card? I’m still taking the guns off the streets; they’re just going in my safe.”

Ah, but that’s an easy question to answer. Lefties and commies love guns. They just want them exclusively in the hands of an elite cadre of professionals. They want them monopolized. 911 is your “equalizer,” but most importantly, it greases the wheel of state dominance—to which the bitches have devoted their lives, taking great care to stay on the right side of their “alpha male.”

People were reportedly, at one point, jumping out of vehicles  whilst sitting in traffic – making on the spot deals with the gun buyers.

But the BuyBack wasn’t a bust. On the contrary – their $80,000 supply of gift cards didn’t last but 2 hours, and by 11:00 am they began attempting to issue IOU’s at which point the entire crowd responded by turning and marching toward the gun dealers, forcing the police officers to pack it up for the day.

Ha, imagine the scene. There’s a metaphor for impotence for ya. This whole dumb buy-back deal is always touted in at least some tinge of moral underpinning—people coming to Jesus, getting right with God yada yada bla bla bla.

It’s nothing of the sort. It’s a market, just like anything else. Chances are many of those people got a gun in trade for sex, drugs, rock & roll or a water pump replacement. And it just sat there until they get a gift certificate to go play at Ronald McDonald’s for an afternoon, and a meal to boot.

On one last note of hilarity, the Seattle Police department claims that they will check the buyback guns to see if any were previously stolen and, if so, try to return them to the rightful owners! LOL. Brilliant!

Actually, that would be a “brilliant” exercise of police work. See, rather than actually do something about real crime (instead of raising revenue from people committing traffic infractions), they could set up a market to incentivize the theft of guns. Have a buy back program every weekend. “Go to work, Monday – Friday, steal as many guns as you can; we’ll give you $100-200 for each, no questions asked, and we don’t have to get our hands dirty.”

In economics terms, it’s all just “transfers,” anyway.

In 1992, Seattle police collected more than 1,200 guns in a four-day buyback program.

Now the only question is, when will the Seattle Police department stage the next gun show?

Yea, 20 years is a long time. Clearly, that buy-back-gun-show-program did nothing to rid Seattle of gun crimes in the ensuing 20 years. Clearly, they need to have gun shows and fence-for-thieves operations more often.

Laf.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: guns, IOU, John Diaz, Monday Friday, Seattle Police, Seattles Police Chief

Corralling The Paleo “Movement” is Like Herding Cats

January 25, 2013 54 Comments

But while Paleo arguably begins with the best possible founding principle—human evolution and its science—that's kinda where it stops being the same for one and all. What gives?

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Ancestral Health Symposium, Asia, EU, evolution, state, Weight Watchers

If You Play in Open Sewers and Ghettoes, Expect the Expected

January 25, 2013 11 Comments

Barrio Barreto, Philippines, 1984-1989

From October of 1984 through March of 1989, I came to know all there was to know about Subic Bay, Philippines. Angeles City, Manilla, and other places and islands, too—but mostly Subic; or, “Pubic,” as we used to say.

…The Barrio Barreto is a place about 15 minutes and 2 pesos by Jeepney from the central conglomeration that’s Olongapo City. Olongapo has many bars, nightclubs, restaurants and other attractions, but none as raw as the Barrio; none as real. The juxtaposition is palpable. Whereas, one entices newly moored sailors with weeks of unspent pay in their pockets, the Barrio entices the more maturated; those who’d learned a lesson or two.

In a third world country, money buys anything and everything. Boys, girls, several boys, several girls. Combinations. …Cougars. Two or three even, who may like one-another. Money is lubricant and one person’s exploitation is another’s charity, and the families on the other 1,000 islands are glad for the wired money—whether is comes from a seasoned prostitute with dreams of returning home someday, or the one who chooses more wisely for less money, looking instead for a ticket to the 1st world via a Visa and marriage and hopes of bringing the family along in time.

It seems, humans can’t all choose the same values. Dommage.

I Stepped in Shit with Presence of Mind

It would be ridiculous to blog something like this, and assert my lily white status. Nope: I indulged, though my tastes were pretty pedestrian.

…The Philippines is a jungle, equatorial country with a vicious monsoon in June. I’m sure it was the first June in 1984 when I was there a 2nd or 3rd time; but one quickly learns to go out in flip flops, swimming trunks and a light tank top with no umbrella—because you’re going to get soaked no matter what. And, when the rain pours and pours and the next brownout is only 15 minutes away, and the 2-ft-deep open sewers look like mere flowing water indistinguishable from all other flowing water on the street, you might take a bath in shit.

Yin-Yang. Rain is still pouring. So you just shower off.

…The times I didn’t stay at one of the two or three decent places to stay overnight (Hotel Subic, Casablanca, etc), I’d take a motorcycle with sidecar back to the gate at the Subic Naval Base and finish the night in my own bed, in my own stateroom, on the ship.

So many people got and get themselves wrapped up badly in various ways; because, instead of maintaining a Presence of Mind always, they succumbed and succumb to the consequences of any number of possibilities—just or unjust—once having surrendered to that last line of defense which accounts for both just and unjust. In 30 or so visits in 5 years, I always maintained that essential Presence of Mind. It was prescient, at times. Here I am, in a sidecar at 2am, fairly drunk, with some Filipino guy I don’t know driving me down a dark coastal highway. He knows I have money in pocket and a watch on my wrist worth months of what he makes.

Most importantly, he knows I am astutely watching his every move, a thing I signal implicitly, never explicitly, from the outset. I chat him up with Presence of Mind. I know the route as well as he. …And I am prepared to make sure I get where I’m going. With him, or through him.

What’s the Point?

The World and the Internet is Filled With Sewers and Ghettos

The world seems increasingly filled with activists, advocates, victims, and stupid people—but I repeat myself.

On the one hand, I salute the expeditionary ethic. Go get dirty. Fall in shit, even.

Just don’t bellyache and be a pathetic victim about it if you happen to get hurt or someone calls you a NAME! And if you do get hurt, can you please make a distinction between your emotions, and something that bleeds? Mkay? That way, we can all tell what we’re really dealing with.

Thanks.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Barrio Barreto, Hotel Subic, Olongapo City, Philippines, Subic Bay, Subic Naval Base

The Funniest Lafs You’ll Get in 2013 (and January isn’t even done yet)

January 25, 2013 5 Comments

I don't know when I've laffed so hard recently. Ten minutes of non-stop laf. Morons, not realizing they're in a parade.

Filed Under: General

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I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2020, has 5,000 posts and 120,000 comments from readers. I blog what I wish...from lifestyle to philosophy, politics, social antagonism, adventure travel, nomad living, location and time independent—"while you sleep"— income, and food. I intended to travel the world "homeless" but the Covid-19 panic-demic squashed that. I've become an American expat living in rural Thailand where I've built a home. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. [Read more...]

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