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Gordon Ramsay ‘Fuck You It’s Raw’ Scrambled Eggs

To my own extreme displeasure and self loathing, I cannot seem to delete a single fucking episode of Hell’s Kitchen from my DVR without watching it, first. Fuckin’ brilliant, mate! While I’ve dumped many fucking programs I used to watch, this one seems to stay.

Fuckin’ Gordon, like me, has this sort of passive-aggressive way about him that speaks to my own  truth and perception: I love the people I call cunts, bitches, pussies…and tell to fuck off, the most…sometimes. Shush! It’s kinda true, though I have reached limits here & there.

A fucking commenter a few posts ago linked to a video of that fuck, Ramsey, doing simple fucking scrambled eggs, before “giving it to his wife in bed.” I’ve long known how to do fucking scrambled eggs and other fucking forms of eggs right, from watching fucking Julia Child and Jaques Pepin (they once did an entire episode on doing all manner of eggs, different methods—I can do an omelet in under 20 seconds per Julia). Essentially, you can use fucking low or high heat, but the way you do them differs really fucking dramatically, with each.

I had to try this fucking dish. It’s very similar to how I do scrambled eggs already. I use the least heat setting and stir for one holy fuck of a long time. It’s rather like fucking bain-marie, or sous-vide. But in this case, you use the highest heat setting so the result is like a low setting, but far quicker. Fuck yea!

Focus your fucking eyeballs.

I gotta say. Do it exactly like that…fucking Rocket Science.

IMG 1480
Egg Pudding

I got hungry and didn’t want to source stuff, so I used plain yogurt in place of the crème fraîche, and dried parsley in place of the fresh chives. Still awesome.

Do it EXACTLY how he demonstrates. Stir non stop, put it on the [high] heat for 20-30ish seconds at a time, take it off and keep stirring the whole time, back on and off 3-4 times. Once it begins to set up (you’ll know), then immediately stop cooking by introducing the cold crème fraîche or whatever sub you’re going to use—and you can even use another pat of butter, like Julia Child does.

This will make you a cooking & fucking rockstar. You all know scrambled eggs. This will show you how irredeemably fucked up the whole world is, and that’s a good thing because that fucked uppedness runs way, way deeper than just scrambled eggs.

Now go fuck off.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More

23 Comments

  1. liam on January 19, 2013 at 15:35

    Watched his scrambled egg video at-least 300 times and have made it atleast a 100x and a 100 different ways, a bit obsessed ,I fuckin love it.Youtube his video where he does it with croissants and smoked salmon ,have yet to try with croissants as keep forgetting to buy them but Gordon is the fuckin shit.

  2. liam on January 19, 2013 at 15:35

    *30 times

  3. Mike on January 19, 2013 at 17:28

    I’ve made scrambled eggs like his almost every morning for breakfast since watching his video a couple years ago. I just finish with some shredded sharp cheddar cheese instead of creme fraiche or sour cream.

  4. Joshua on January 19, 2013 at 19:01

    I’ve been doing the “as slow as your patience can tolerate” method for about 15 years, but I’ve never been a fan of the pudding texture.

  5. […] Gordon Ramsey ‘Fuck You It’s Raw’ Scrambled Eggs | Free The Animal […]

  6. the 3volution of j3nn on January 20, 2013 at 02:55

    Sooo wrong. All my life! Must do it right next time and each time after that. I have some marscapone to use up, I think that would be delightful.

    • Richard Nikoley on January 20, 2013 at 06:30

      Yea, a lot of creamy things would work.

  7. CatherineakaCate on January 20, 2013 at 11:22

    I loved those and give the method an A+. Thanks for posting that. I used cream cheese and Sunny Paris dried shallots that I learned about from Nom Nom. (Penzey’s Spices)
    The best thing about this method is that I hate teflon, and the stainless sauce pan worked great.
    I stopped using pepper because there are so many spices that have more health benefits and Dave Ausprey seems convinced black pepper can be moldy…I still use it occasionally but find other spices more interesting on eggs. The Sunny Paris is the bomb, as is Arizona Dreaming (combination of red peppers, parika, cocoa, onion, garlic. That girrrrl knows her spices.

    • Richard Nikoley on January 20, 2013 at 11:28

      The pan he used was an epiphany for me. I’ve always done it in a fry pan, but I used an even narrower al-clad stainless pan than he did and I was amazed how quickly it came together. The al-clad is pretty thick and that heat retention in the pan is a material aspect, I think.

      Not sure what I think about Dave’s concern over mold. I figure we evolved alongside mold just like we did bacteria. For all I know, some molds are beneficial, as are some fungus.

      We don’t really care for his coffee that much, though I salute highly for putting it out there. I like a very dark French or Italian roast.

  8. Paul Halliday on January 20, 2013 at 15:25

    Fucking half-baked article? Spit … IT’S FUCKING RAW!

    He’s a giggle, in’t he? Like Marco Pierre-White (Leeds lad, don’t you know) he’s great at doing the simple stuff really well. Yes, both can do the complicated stuff well, hence “the stars”, but the simple stuff, done well, it the foundation.

    • Kate Ground on January 22, 2013 at 05:44

      Yea…while camping last month, I used a sauce pan for my eggs….now that’s the way to do it…Didn’t need Gordon Ramsey to learn that…and I hate HATE runny fucking scrambled eggs….ew

  9. Neil on January 20, 2013 at 16:20

    These were fuckin phenomenal

  10. CatherineakaCate on January 20, 2013 at 19:52

    “Not sure what I think about Dave’s concern over mold.”

    Must agree on that and the coffee (although he has great podcasts and I admire his biohacking ) Kona 100% from Maui Coffee Roasters—like crack, you will never go back to anything else, trust me, I have tried.

    The thing about black pepper is that it seems sort of dead to me. Saffron, curry, freshly grated nutmeg and cinnamon seem more exciting. Even White Pepper! Black Pepper is too routine.

    Dave has a unique angle on many things (Tim Ferris is over rated IMO) An entire chapter on oragasm, as if we haven’t all figured that out by now.

    I have Jaminet, Dave, You, Woo, Hyperlipid in my top five for all different reasons. (BTW, the new Dr Steven Gundry over at Jimmyville is worth a listen)

    Who knows why certain bloggers are interesting and others are a big echo-yawn

    Another good one for food (note the photography ) is Against The Grain, and Nom Nom

    • Ed on January 20, 2013 at 23:26

      Kindke’s blog is another good one.

      Interesting exchange between him & Dr. Johnson on this post:
      http://kindkehealthnotes.blogspot.com/2013/01/jjs-insulin-paper-and-beta-cell.html

    • Joshua on January 21, 2013 at 08:59

      Dave is ok, but he is always selling. It got old, so I dropped him. I like Peter Attia, but he doesn’t post often enough.

    • Richard Nikoley on January 21, 2013 at 10:13

      “The thing about black pepper is that it seems sort of dead to me.”

      What I think is overrated is big chunks of freshly ground pepper. I tend to prefer finely ground in most applications.

  11. CatherineakaCate on January 20, 2013 at 19:53

    eek, orgasm.

  12. stu on January 21, 2013 at 07:58

    Hugh Fearnly-Double-barreled has a similar take on this:

    1/2 tsp Finely chopped, fresh rosemary in at the beginning ,more butter, no creme fraiche, season with salt.

  13. Walter on January 21, 2013 at 11:20

    I am an early riser, so I make my breakfast at work.

    Oeuf brouilles de le micro-ondes (scrambled egg of the microwave).

  14. Ulfric on January 22, 2013 at 04:17

    Mine’s different, but what he says about not overcooking it is absolutely vital.
    I finely slice some beef fat and render that down with the bacon cooking, then when it’s ready I scoop out the crispy bacon and cracklings, turn the heat up and crack the eggs into the hot fat. Heavy copper-bottomed stainless pan, stir until it starts to go firm, then off the heat. Stir, scrape, stir and season then onto the plate.
    Next time I’ll try some butter too but my taste doesn’t much like cooked butter so far.

    • Kate Ground on January 22, 2013 at 06:32

      I was gonna add…..Gordon forgot the bacon fat…..nothing better than eggs scrambled in bacon fat…Really

  15. John on January 23, 2013 at 14:16

    So, I was never much one for scrambled eggs, but after seeing this post, I decided to try it Gordon’s way. Fuck me! It was awesome! And I was just doing it from memory based on what I saw one time. Thank you so much for posting this, I’ll be making these a lot.

  16. Elijah on January 25, 2013 at 03:35

    Holy crap that’s good. I just made it for myself and the kids with eggs from our backyard hens. I thought I made good scrambled eggs before…my how wrong I’ve been.

    Thanks

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