“Oh, the Pasta-Bilities”

Made me chuckle, so why not a post so you can too?

It came via one of those emails this morning. Y’know, the ones you get from your health care provider—in this case, Kaiser Permanente—because they want to see you making better lifestyle choices in the pursuit of lower costs and hence, greater profits. Nothing wrong with that. Imagine what a huge HMO could do by talking and admonishing paleo to their customers, managing the process? Just imagine it.

It’ll never happen, though, because the externalities would just never work anytime soon. They’d get hammered and lose customers. Big companies would switch providers. It would all be explicitly engineered by the USDA and its whores in the media. There would be…SHUDDER…Press Conferences! And that’s not even to say that an HMO itself wouldn’t resist even if they believed it would truly help people. After all, they like their economies of scale and having a huge percentage of patients go managed paleo would shrink their whole enterprise over time.

Well, they’re all fuckers. What did you expect?

“Dress your pasta in this traditional, healthy sauce.”

My first thought after the chuckle? Bet it’s got no meat in it. My second chuckle was that it was a recipe for WhoreSauce—Puttanesca—the traditional pasta sauce Italian prostitutes devised for after a night of hard work on their backs. How fitting. It’ll put ’em to sleep until noon, I guess.

Here’s the recipe, in case you’re interested. And oh, it does have the virtue of 3 whole entire anchovy filets!!! to detract from its healthfulness pasta-bilities.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. Joshua on January 22, 2013 at 13:14

    I always wondered why puttanesca sounded dirty.

    Not exactly what I would have pictured for “whore sauce” though.

  2. Paul Halliday on January 22, 2013 at 13:42

    My local Italian, which I love eating at since they do me frogs legs by the half dozen, buckets of mussels and damn good fillet steak, always giggle at that sauce … they find it very funny that a chap might order it. Not me, naturally, like I want to eat pasta!?

  3. Galina L on January 23, 2013 at 05:56

    For a while I have been translating most recipes I read into LC variations . My favorite substitute for a pasta in a recipe is not necessary a spaghetti squash or grated zucchinis, but rather foreman-grill pre-cooked sliced eggplants (could be cut into strips with scissors when cooked ) because I think eggplant has a more appropriate structure . Usually I put some bacon into my pasta souse for a flavor, but I think I can try to use anchovies for a variety.

  4. mark on January 24, 2013 at 07:09

    I have started eating more rice pasta with lots of meat-sauce…

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