Your Cloistered Fucks are so Fucked (’bout time)

…When a 4th Grader Can Easily Show What Pathetic Liars and Despots You Are

I’ll shamelessly keep linking it in perpetuity. Because I was right In November of 2007, a full year ahead of the advent of the New Dispensation of the New Erection….that of the New Savior, of the New ‘Merca (….and, because he’s BLACK (!!!), and that just makes ALL the difference to racists…those who only see non-racists as racist…and War is Peace). Don’t like me making use of the verbal discourse of the day? Then talk to your Hip Hop “artists,” Niggas. …If you can, then I can.

Fuck Obama and His Stupid Bitch (2007).

Indicative of my level of frustration, I guess. Yesterday, I endured — for a short time — being lied to by the wives of the presidential candidates on some Oprah-Doprah teevee program. It was such utterly contemptible, pandering and rotten bullshit that it always makes me wonder what world I live in, when I know there are millions on millions just lapping it up like it’s the first time in the world they’ve heard it. Obama’s wife was clearly the stupidest (I’m saying nothing). She prattled on endlessly, naming things that require the time and values of people to create, assemble, and manage; yet the whole point in brining up these things is to admonish “getting the money out of them.” In other words: do them devoid of the principle means by which things get done. I guess they’ll happen somehow. Fucking moron.

Yea, fuck Reagan, his stupid woo woo Nancy too. Bush the I, and his George Washington. Fuck The Lying Bastard and his pathetic whore who’ll stand for anything so long as it helps her political ambitions. Fuck Bush the II and his Librarian.

When you live by principle and not tribes, a lot of people end up being in your fuck off list. One only gets into mine by assuming the right to tell you how to live your own life—while those just ignorantly holding idiotic ideas—to fit in—are just so quaint & cute, and get a pass on any given day. …They, those other ones, get charter status when trying to make institutions and laws out of it.

You can be as tribal as you want. I limit my own tribe to very nice people underneath: not those who strive to be nice sounding, but then lie to you every day because they understand a simple fact: You either don’t truly care or, the little care you still posses is far surpassed by your tribe loyalty. …Which is pathetic.

Trailer: Yuck – A 4th Grader’s Short Documentary About School Lunch from Maxwell Project on Vimeo.

I can just imagine how annoying he must be at 9-yrs…know-it-all, etc. I’m even a fan of that classic meme that children should be seen and not heard. It’s a general principle because it’s generally true. Kids are here to learn in spite of anything and generally, have nothing but stupid shit to say…and I’m very impatient—so I have no kids. So, when one little one shows up who actually does teach, and teach and inform in such a base way (like eating every day), it’s an exception, and on completely inverse levels. This is one damn cool project. You go, kid, as annoying as I’d probably find you otherwise.

I told the rest of yooz in the last post on this general topic:

Perhaps this offers a clue as to where the spark for real change and reform will come from: morally outraged children.

Crickets on that score. Still think I’m stupid about that?

I look at things on pretty simple, fundamental levels. When 9-year-olds start making documentaries about how completely fucked up you are, qua society, and it’s that fundamental: the food they’re being given (9-yr-ols don’t fend for self anywhere, so this is on YOU, one way or another, and if you complain about the school or government, then you have understood nothing).

It’s happening, will obviously continue to happen (hope for intensification and gross embarrassment). So, I stand up—because Zack fucking deserves it, right? I take immediate notice, even figuring he likely had some help in creating and editing that. But it’s not anything like what the lefties always do: get their kids on video to spout parents’ own ignorances and insecurities in political and geopolitical contexts the kids have not the slightest clue, perspective, or understanding about. …Or, they’ve been given stuffed animalz while being told that Globalz Warmingz will be the end of stuffed animalz…and Republicanz will be coming to collect them by force because they eat kidz for dinnerz.

In the end—the very, very end—it’s very, very simple. Helpless kids who have no standing are being fed processed, vapid, cheap, packaged garbage at the behest of global-industrial-conglomerate grain, sugar and machinery lubricant producers in a real-life situation where, a real cooked meal of real foods is the minimum standard. Obama and his Stupid Bitch don’t care any more than their stupid, fuckwit, out of touch predecessors.

Zachary Maxwell has moral standing. At about 9 and in 4th grade, he finds himself in a beauty of a position. Due his age and physical development, he cannot really be told with equal moral authority to just suck it up and fend. Child mammals have one simple inviolable right. Parent: get me to a place I can adequately fend for myself.

Parents contract and beg for help with their kids and that’s fine. This is not the place to rant about how effed up top-down, social-hierarchical, tax-&-spend-to-buy-votes-for-bigger-erections…is. That’s given and I’m only a fan of admonishing people to do better while understanding that it’s shitty to cast moral judgments upon those who do things as things generally get done. So go ahead. Sign up for that double-edged-sword government “benefit” if you like. It’s there. Shame to let it go to waste, I guess—just don’t expect a high salute from me.

But there are limits, right? So, pay your taxes. Go vote. have yourselves a good time. Agitate when it’s important to you. Force others to stop blowing cigarette smoke in your face from 100 yards away on their own balconies. Make sure nobody owns a gun to protect themselves when cops are only minutes away; and when seconds count, that’s just statistics.

Do it all and escape moral judgment, even from me on my best days. But what I think or write—or what anyone thinks—is irrelevant when it comes to the basics of kids. If you have chosen to have them or just accepted care over them, this, this is a charge from which there is no out, ever. They are dependent upon you and your charges until that one day they are not: a day of mutual understanding—a day filled with fear, loathing and trepidation for both, as it should be.

Until that day, you have ultimate and final responsibility to ensure that their food and shelter is as excellent as it is within your capability to provide—to do daily, at the expense of the McMansion, fancy SUV, family cell plan, premium channels, or, Cabo and Hawaii…if that’s what it takes.

And so, my one quibble: Zachary, your parets need to make sure you are getting proper nutrition in spite of the school. Show them your video or, if they helped you, have them watch it again and give them a wink.

From the look of things, kids might just be taking up the moral slack parents seem to lack in significant measure.

…As a final note, this post is inspired by that category of comments over the years by parents. Thousands, over the years—on anything resembling a post about food quality—have taken aims to tell how and why they do it at their house, and it’s always about the kids. Salute.

Update: A piece in The New Your Times with additional clips from the documentary film, as well as a slide show of the difference between the menu and what was served. The kid is kinda funny for his age.

Clips from “Yuck” – Battle of the Salads from Maxwell Project on Vimeo.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. Danny J Albers on May 18, 2013 at 04:32

    Reminds me of an epic food rant from the Fathead group on FB, so good I archived it on my blog for posterity.

    My kid’s school cafeteria menu, just for this week, includes: Pretzel Bites, Cereal, Whole Wheat Toast, Pizza, Hummus, Canned Fruit, Bagel, Bean Burrito, Corn Salad, Brown Rice, Apples, Bananas, Grilled Cheese Sandwich, Teriyaki Chicken, Sweet Potato Fries, Breakfast Bar, Corn Dog, Ranch Beans, French Toast, Seasoned Potatoes, Cinnamon Roll, Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich, Baked Chips.
    I didn’t run the numbers, but in some meals, over 90% of calories come from carbohydrate, with virtually no fat, and the meager amount of protein is mostly gluten.
    Meanwhile, the actual menu being sent home shows a “My Plate” diagram, with 1/4 of the plate being covered in “protein foods”, including a beef steak, a whole fish, a chicken leg with thigh, a whole egg, a walnut, and a tiny amount of beans.
    But where are these “protein foods” in the actual meal? A slice of processed cheese in a grilled cheese sandwich. A few chickpeas ground up in a spoonful of hummus. Some pinto beans wrapped in a tortilla. A slice of pizza with a meager amount of low-fat cheese. A hot dog coated in corn batter with barely 5 grams of protein to its name.

  2. Joshua on May 17, 2013 at 16:19

    I read the Sadie post linked at the bottom. She still single? 🙂

  3. Nigel Kinbrum on May 18, 2013 at 03:30

    From the video:- “…but the lunch being served in my school was nothing like what they were advertising on their web-site.”
    Sounds like either someone’s ass needs to be sued for false advertising, or someone’s ass needs to be sued for failing to meet required standards.

  4. Richard Nikoley on May 18, 2013 at 07:06

    Hey Danny.

    Good to see you.

    Yea, this shit just infuriates me, perhaps a bit too much and over the top, and then I stop to think about the absolute fraud of the thing and I go right back into rant mode.

    Oh, well.

  5. Kayumochi on May 18, 2013 at 09:54

    My daughter spent her food-formative years in Japan eating food that was either freshly picked or freshly caught and now as a student in America she won’t touch anything served at school. She either brings lunch or does without; either way she is fine.

  6. ladysadie1 on May 18, 2013 at 12:46

    “Parent: get me to a place I can adequately fend for myself.”

    This is our mandate. Many parents do not take that to heart. Zachary’s parents have taught him well. It is extra ordinary that he can break the bonds of peer pressure and do something like that video when most kids would just shut up and take whatever comes. I am reminded of the post where my daughters were in cave-girl regalia: The little blonde wielding a stick has the same spirit as the boy who made the video… These kids will NOT let you take away their (future) ability to “fend for themselves”.

    Packing school lunches that are not under constant scrutiny or get tossed out got to be too much of a hassle, so my kids take jerky, dried fruit and nuts to supplement their government ‘people feed’. Apparently, the school lunch “rules” extend to lunches brought from home in this district… Damn, I wish the whole system would just fail already!!!

  7. pzo on May 18, 2013 at 15:26

    And the video informed us…………….what? Not a shred of anything. No substantiation, no proof, just a claim.

    As per a prior and recent post of mine about school lunches now versus fifty years ago, I probably agree with this kid.

    But it’s vacuous.

  8. Richard Nikoley on May 18, 2013 at 15:34

    “And the video informed us…………….what? Not a shred of anything.”

    Laf. It’s a FUCKING TRAILER!

    Well, everyone gets to be as stupid as they want to be. That’s what I always say.

  9. Gary on May 18, 2013 at 16:01

    “You can be as tribal as you want. I limit my own tribe to very nice people underneath: not those who strive to be nice sounding, but then lie to you every day because they understand a simple fact: You either don’t truly care or, the little care you still posses is far surpassed by your tribe loyalty. …Which is pathetic.”

    I am tribal, as are those self-serving liars you mention, I think it’s our default condition, but ‘naked’ tribalism is going to lead to strife, strife will pretty likely lead to extinction. Tribalism isn’t the answer, we need something else.

  10. Ulfric Douglas on May 19, 2013 at 08:33

    Packed lunches are my solution, and my choice is reinforced each and every time I get a new glimpse of a school dinner. The only good school food comes from the very expensive schools, and my boy won’t be going to any of them because I think he’ll do just fine at the local. (As long as he doesn’t eat the food, naturally.)

  11. mm on May 21, 2013 at 18:46

    Hey Nik, you’re a political junkie, riight? Read this:

    Watch this:

    And listen to all of this stuff:

    You got your work cut out for you as a political know-it-all…

  12. Richard Nikoley on May 22, 2013 at 00:34

    “You got your work cut out for you as a political know-it-all…”

    Haven’t clicked on a single link, nor will I, and you’ve just been banned because I want to.

  13. Joshua on May 22, 2013 at 05:31

    “Haven’t clicked on a single link..”
    It’s harmless. Some chick ranting against socialist feminism.

  14. Richard Nikoley on May 22, 2013 at 08:03

    Well maybe I missunderstood him and he really does think I know it all. I have plenty of stuff to read and watch and I don’t need an insult accompanying a request to check something out right out of the blue.

  15. Richard Nikoley on May 22, 2013 at 08:21

    …OK, @mm

    You caught me at a bad time last night. I’d just lost out on a $1500 rental for the cabo place because some jerkoff gave wrong availability info while my renter had credit card in hand. I was a bit peeved. This morning, looks like I have a chance at saving the deal.

    Anyway, hows about you give me a short summary of what all that info is about and tell my why it conflicts with the stuff I typically write.

  16. mm on May 22, 2013 at 09:25

    Yeah sorry Nik, my weird, dry sense of humour does that some times. IRL I can recover if I see people taking me literally. I guess I screwed up.

    It doesn’t conflict with anything, it’s more ammo to use as talking points against other people. Also, because it’s men’s human rights stuff that is seen as fringe…. and you’re a man… that isn’t scared of strange fringe things.

    If you want to buy an excellent book about all of this, buy Warren Ferrell’s The Myth of Male Power.


    That youtube link talks about the spheres of influence men & women have/had; how women weren’t just constantly oppressed before they got the vote – or at least if they were, their husbands were just as badly. Also makes an argument that feminists can’t really refute about how if the patriarchy really did exist how’d it take so damn long to overthrow it?

    80% of suicides are male. Did your readers know that? I bet if 80% of suicides were female, people would hear about it.
    (Yeah, a counter-argument to all this men’s right activist stuff is Not All Feminists Are Like That… girlwriteswhat and others have addressed this issue.)

    In western countries femisnists have made it so legally in a lot of places if you get married and have kids the kids technically belong to your wife. She can use no-fault divorce and she gets the kids even if she’s a bad mother. You pay child support, the family courts get a cut of the money. If you don’t pay, you go to what is essentially debtor’s prison. To add insult to injury, lawyers are encouraging wives to make false abuse allegations so they can more easily get full custody (joint custody means the kids grow up with a father and are less likely to be a drain to society… but it also means the family courts get less money)

    One guy set himself on fire in a New England state somewhere because he was ordered to pay more monthly than he made. Result: social conservatives and feminists complaining about how men aren’t “manning up” to start a family, choosing to stay single & play computer games or whatever.

    Also, in Canada the guy that had the only men’s domestic violence/rape shelter committed suicide as he spent years trying to get gov’t funding but got none. About have of domestic abuse victims are males; many times physically abusive people will pair up with other physically abusive people.

    Ever heard of hypergamy? Briffault’s Law? Remember that OKCupid post you did where OKC found that most women think men are ugly? It seems women tend to naturally try to aim higher than is attainable; aim out of their leagues. This, along with no-fault divorce that allows a very hypergamous woman to ditch her husband easily is probably why 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

    Also, 2/3rds of university/college students are female. A side effect of hypergamy is that you rarely ever see stay-at-home dads/househusbands – because most women find it hard to respect men that make less than them. (This isn’t set in stone; biology isn’t destiny… but if you aren’t aware of it it is a problem, like how men aren’t very good at reading body signals from women – eventually if they’re smart they’ll figure out to improve that as a skill)

    Because of the weird notion that boys and girls are just a blank slate, boys and girls are being taught to act like girls…

    False rape allegations aren’t treated seriously, and in some places they are placing the burden of proof on the accused. Women making false rape accusations aren’t really punished. Neither are women who beat their boyfriends/husbands really (in some cases the male victim gets arrested), and if a woman did get convicted for a violent crime chances are she’d get a lower sentence than a male for the same crime.

    Ever heard of a White Knight? (i.e. a man that will throw other men under the bus to protect a woman or women no matter how bad they act) Related to the concept of the disposable male… It would take too long to talk about all of these things… damn, this stuff is longer and more complex than I thought.
    Nik, as an ex-sailor you are disposable and your worth is based solely on your own utility to others. This is the classic way men are/were raised, it’s useful but it has some obvious drawbacks.

    Also, it would appear that the way things worked, only 40% of males in paleolithic times passed on their genes, to 80% of females which meant that a successful male had an average of 2 females, which meant men probably had to compete a lot with eachother.

    Do what I did if you’re interested: take your time and slowly listen through girlwriteswhat’s youtube vids when you’re bored and listen to the more interesting A Voice for Men radio podcasts as you’re going to sleep. (If it takes me some time to fully fall asleep).

  17. Richard Nikoley on May 22, 2013 at 09:35


    Ha! I love it when shit turns like that. That’s excellent, MM. I agree with pretty much all of it, though the guy committing suicide ’cause he can’t get the same gov funding women’s shelters can kinda makes me wince.

    How about you take that comment and polish it up and I’ll pop it on the blog in a post next week?

  18. mm on May 22, 2013 at 09:38

    Nik, as an ex-sailor you are disposable and your worth is based solely on your own utility to others. This is the classic way men are/were raised, it’s useful but it has some obvious drawbacks.
    I’m exagerrating, but let me put it this way: ever seen an action movie where the woman was portrayed as a coward for abandoning/hiding when the bad guys started fighting the male hero (assuming you’re not watching an action-girl movie of course). Until society begins depicting women as somewhat cowardly and morally tainted for failing to protect themselves the way men are, men will always be seen as somewhat more disposable.
    Titanic: women and children first.
    Also the utility to others thing is a reference on how people will work themselves to death. Women workaholics do this too, but for the longest time being a good husband meant you sort of had no choice but to do this unless you already made lots of money.

    When I say boys are taught to act like girls, here’s an anecdtoe from the podcast that talked about this: a classroom of kids went camping and were given notebooks to write their feelins about nature, etc. (something girls tend to be better at since their verbal skills develop faster). All the girls obeyed but the boys were bored so they piled up their notebooks and made a bonfire.
    Reaction by the teachers? “boys will be boys”? Nah… they basically freaked out enough for it to make the news and were convinced that the boys were gonna grow up to be psychopaths.

  19. mm on May 22, 2013 at 09:39

    @Nik, alright, I’ll see what I can do.

  20. mm on May 22, 2013 at 09:42

    Oh, the guy committed suicide because he couldn’t get ANY funding at all, even from rich businessmen. Some believe he did it as a publicity stunt to boost awareness – that’s how dedicated he was.

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