The Perfect Person for the Job

It reminds me of another “perfect job”: Street Sweepers. You know, that make-work thing where those ridiculous vehicles come around every so often to smear all the dirt around with a bit of added water?

Kyle Smith writes in the New York Post:

Unemployed? Underemployed? Working the register at Denny’s when you used to be on the management track? Just been informed you’ll be one of the ObamaCare “29ers” who gets that many hours of work a week, no more, to sidestep penalty costs? Don’t fret. Washington has just brought in a new behavior sheriff. She’s rounding up an encouragement posse to get you to live your life better. She’s 27. Her name is Maya Shankar.

Oh, joy.

In Glamour, in 2006, she said her dream job would be presidential science adviser. So it has come to pass: For her first job, she is now “senior policy advisor at the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy.”

That’s right. Senior. This person was a senior at Yale as of 2007, but now she gets to tell you how to live your life. Sorry: encourage you to make choices that will make you happier.

For a White House senior science advisor wielding the federal joysticks of citizen behavior modification, Shankar has somewhat thin credentials. The only published paper of hers I could find — I’m not making this up — was about whether the color of your juice affected its taste. It was called “Grape Expectations: The Role of Cognitive Influences in Color-Flavor Interactions.”

Useful! Now Shankar has grape expectations for you, America. According to her recruitment e-mail, “The federal government is currently creating a new team that will help build federal capacity to experiment with these approaches and to scale behavioral interventions that have been rigorously evaluated, using, where possible, randomized controlled trials.”

She’s PERFECT! And, I can’t think of a country or a people so deserving of her. You’ve done yourself proud, America. Go ahead. Take a look. There’s a solid 4 pages of good lafs.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. Dennis on August 13, 2013 at 10:23

    HA, next thing you know the government, will be spying on us without us knowing ! oh wait, they already do. I also recently just read an article where the CDC is deleting information about vaccines that they gave people in the 1960s that contained a monkey virus… crazy world …

  2. Sasha on August 13, 2013 at 21:53

    Well, I think that there are bad and good things that America does, although I don’t think that you should be just view that bad. And even if you read an article about vaccines in the 1960s that contained a monkey virus, it might be false. Anyways this article here is talking about America doing something right and Shankar.

  3. Steve W on August 14, 2013 at 15:36

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Follow by Email8k