America: Land of the Pathetic, Home of the Pussies

If enduring an hour long fake delay of game last night for a bunch of pampered pussy multi-millionaires afraid of the sight of lightening—but an hour more of programming worthy advert revenue—wasn’t enough…that’s the NPL, the National Pussy League…I have another story just today along the same lines.

But first, I have to ask: to what depths is the N“F“L going to dive, what with all the talk of how these multi millionaires are not nearly pampered enough, how they had no idea that trading money for bashed skulls was just “Not My Fault and Someone Needs to Pay Me More!” …and “DON’T LET ANYONE ELSE MAKE THE TRADE I MADE!!!” …I can’t even believe they can do it with a straight face. Fucking pussies. Disgusting; fucking pussies. Shit, you can’t even hardly have a decent series of downs anymore without a prison guard in prison garb coming out to blow a whistle and protect the league, in league, with MAFI—Mothers Against Football Injuries.

Vince Lombardi: rolling in his grave.

…I have an unconventional, micro welding job where I need someone with good tig, aluminum alloy experience. So I took it to a shop that has welded steel for me in the past. Instead of any level of “no thanks” (it’s a tiny job—perhaps worth about $50) I get the fucking pussy lecture: “My liability insurance.” Sissy pussy. Bring out your 10-fucking-stupid-page release of liability your attorney or your insurance company wrote, that you’ve never once read, and I’ll sign it without reading too, if you’re that pussy.

On top of that, the asshole has the audacity to proceed to lecture and tell me what I ought to do with my own materials and money. I find this all the time now: people who have the appearance of men, but all they can do is tell you how much danger and risk there is in X, trying at every turn to out worry and safetyfy women. Shit, they’re out-doing women in general.

God, please fuck America. Don’t bless it on its life. The sooner, the better. I told an owner of a restaurant in the Marina District of San Francisco—Chestnut Street—just yesterday: the only thing that can fix America at this point is soup lines.

I’m dead serious. Armani suits with handmade English shoes in soup lines. I can’t wait to see it.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. Amy on September 16, 2013 at 17:59

    I encounter similar things. Or I should say my husband does, and tells me about it, as I’m seldom in a position to go get things fixed. And if I need it welded, well, husband welds for a living so I’m covered.

    I foolishly thought my KitchenAid stand mixer could handle a very big job grinding meat. So, meat grinding attachment thoroughly affixed to machine, I ground about 75 lbs of venison over a several day period and blew the whole thing out. Needed to get it fixed but didn’t know where to start. Every single small appliance repair guy in my area said “No, won’t touch it, not certified.” Certified for what, looking at stripped gears or replacing a burnt out motor? I took it to a shop over an hour from my house because they said they’d look at it. $40 later I have a KitchenAid mixer performing like new again.

    LSS: incompetence + fear of litigation is making Rand’s vision of the stalled motor of the world a reality.

    There are few men left. I miss them very much.

  2. Richard Nikoley on September 16, 2013 at 18:39

    Good for you, Amy. I’m clapping over here.

    I actually should have said that only two things can fix America. The aforementioned soup lines, or real women who knows what a real man is and will never accept any substitute.

  3. Steve W on September 16, 2013 at 19:40

    Armani suits with handmade English shoes in soup lines. I can’t wait to see it.

    Interesting how strikingly different political thinkers have come to the same conclusion…

  4. Jscott on September 16, 2013 at 20:04

    I have no trouble finding welders that will do any sort of requested job. Where you live sucks for welders-apparently. Drive here and I can get it done.

  5. Richard Nikoley on September 16, 2013 at 20:20

    I will be making phone calls tomorrow. I’m sure I’ll be able to rely on “illegals.” They always jump right to stuff and without any typical American pussy bullshit.

  6. marie on September 16, 2013 at 23:56

    I get the NFL example, but the welding one is just bizarre.

    Y’all going soft in pretty California?
    Because my experience up here in colder-than-witch’s-tit northwestern NY is that the trades in general, from electricians and plumbers to machinists, have a high concentration of resourceful, capable men and even some women lately.

    There’s exactly a welding and machine shop just a mile from me, they do anything no matter how small that I’ve ever brought them, even ‘inventive’ oddities.
    Oh, and they’ve been a union shop for something like 70 years. Just an example where even that can work as intended – I’m guessing because it’s in the hands of self-sufficient people who actually want to associate.

    Other very gritty, non-pussified domains (o.k., maybe now I’m just showing off the culture here… 🙂 :
    – the volunteer firemen,
    – the tow-trucks and road-side assistance people (who always seem to have hot coffee in a thermos with extra cups to share on the worst ‘black-ice’ nights ),
    – the volunteer coastal rescue crews,
    – the majority of single-home owners who typically dig their homes, their neighbors’ and the occasional school-bus out of drifts a few times each winter (because hey, ‘snow-days’ are for pussies!) ,
    – the PA moms (yes, really) who’ll haul-out and set-up the folding metal bleachers at games, not just the cookie and drinks stand
    … get the idea.

    My kids could walk up any driveway around here with an open garage-door (we still leave them open if we’re home, so as to be available) and a grown-up would be on hand with a first-aid kit.
    Insane legal liability issues there? Phht! Talk to me about the 11-years the trampoline’s been in my backyard.

    Neighbors just don’t seem to sue neighbors, no, they don’t even have fences here (it’s not considered “neighborly” – smack against the old dictum).

    You don’t need soup lines. Instead, the physically comfy regions and the urbanized/suburbanized parts of the country just need an era of regular storms and floods.
    Who woulda thunk, global ‘climate change’ could be a positive thing!

    Or, you know, you could just move….to one of the less lilly-livered states and counties across the US.
    Though, there’s something to be said for a semi-tropical, minimally regulated locale… if I still have that standing invitation to come spear-fishing?! 😉

    There’s a reason this Canadian could settle up here.
    Why, if I wear ear-plugs, I couldn’t tell any difference around me from a truly civilized country. 😀

  7. Amy on September 17, 2013 at 04:35

    Richard, you do know that you’re likely a minority in Cali, yes? Out here in the original Colony territory, you Cali folk have reputations for sucking .gov teat dry and saying “it’s not my fault/problem” and fingering blame on everything from weather to weeds as a reason to sue the crap out of everyone and raise taxes to pay for it.

    And as the Californians become dissatisfied with the government they’ve elected, either for not giving them enough or giving the largess away to others and not them, they leave, and settle in Colorado and Texas, and bring their California attitude and voting problems with them and perpetuate the problem.

    I’m on board with a lot of the married manosphere philosophy. If you build it they will come (I hated that movie but the sentiment fits). A feminine, competent, confident woman will attract a masculine, competent, confident man. Trouble is, I meet a lot of females who think competent and confident means being a bitch who don’t need no man, cussing like a sailor, dressing like a cheap hooker, and duck-facing her way through every photograph. When I do leave my humble mountain home and venture into a mall or any place where young people gather, I see young males who affect femininity in their dress and actions. There is recognizable maleness, but no masculinity.

  8. rob on September 17, 2013 at 05:19

    I took up yoga, except on a DIY basis using books and videos rather than taking classes, because where I live the only available classes are taught by 22 year old airheads and I have nothing to learn from them.

    I stopped mentioning yoga in conversation because when I mention I’m not taking classes people look at me like I’m brain damaged and start warning me about all the injuries I’m going to cause myself. The concept of DIY is totally foreign to them.

    Eventually it will be illegal to wipe your own ass.

  9. Amy on September 17, 2013 at 06:29

    Right, rob.

    Credentialism will do us in. We are asking for a king to rule over us and tell us what to do. We ought be cautious of our wishes.

  10. Richard Nikoley on September 17, 2013 at 09:59
  11. Joshua on September 17, 2013 at 10:40

    God, please fuck America. Don’t bless it on its life.Geez Richard, you’re such a religious collectivist.

  12. Richard Nikoley on September 17, 2013 at 12:45

    Joshua, I don’t take knives to gunfights. 🙂

  13. Karen on September 17, 2013 at 15:42

    Jack Spirko of The Survival Podcast (“Helping You Live A Better Life, If Times Get Tough Or Even If They Don’t”) has a new project. Permaethos ( is planned to be “A Community of Liberty & Sustainability”. Looks interesting. Think I’ll watch how the first one goes. Once I retire, I’ll be leaving California & was thinking of maybe a few acres elsewhere where I can practice permaculture. However, I am getting older & maybe joining a community based on libertarian ideas and permaculture design principles might be a more sensible route to take. Anyway, they are looking for investors if anyone is interested. You will have to prove you are adept at business & of a libertarian mindset! 🙂

  14. Lauren on September 17, 2013 at 17:36

    Perhaps rugby? I recommend the All Blacks.

  15. Brad on September 18, 2013 at 03:12

    Yeah, Richard, I think you’re living in the wrong place. California and Bay Area. While I grew up there and my high school had a “metal shop” class, I doubt many still have such things. Through junior high (in Monterey) and high school (in SF Bay Area) I had classes in diverse things such as cooking, sewing, woodshop, and metalshop. But this was 35 years ago. And now what do the schools do for a “well rounded education”? When the economy takes a dump from time to time, what do most people have to fall back on when they lose their high tech job? Not to mention the benefits of just being more self sufficient and DIY-able.

  16. Brad on September 18, 2013 at 03:36

    Ah, but this was a time before video games, DVD’s, smart phones, and the internet. The things we kids did for fun was playing sports and building things. Massive tree forts, motorized go-carts from the ground up, etc. It’s the lack other time-wasting activities that developed our DIY men-type abilities. It also helped that our parents, or friends’ parents had tools, and they didn’t worry about us getting hurt or parents suing each other over it. Most instructed their sons in proper tool usage and safety, and then left us for the most part to experience success and mistakes on our own. Some of them who worked in trades such as carpenter, electrician, etc., had lots of tools including welding, metalworking, and woodworking. It was great fun for us, having projects to work on together with friends, rivaling the electronic time-sucks of today, but obviously much more beneficial.
    I always chuckle when I get looks of “wow” when people learn that not only can I program a computer, but I actually know my way around an arc welder and table saw.
    It doesn’t help my yearly income much, but comes in handy and gives a sense of empowerment. If I get peeved about the cost, delay, or quality of a contractor I have the option and often do, just DIM (Do It Myself).
    Thank goodness for tool rentals.

  17. LXV on September 18, 2013 at 09:10

    Yes. Grrrr. Ugh. Man make football. Women make safety and football not fun. Man make welding. Women make things sissy. Ruin everything for men. Wussing out is vile womanly trait.

    “Ah, but this was a time before video games, DVD’s, smart phones, and the internet. The things we kids did for fun was playing sports and building things. ”
    Yeah, those awful blinky lights have ruined kids ability to conceive and build things. They certainly don’t learn anything about building 3D models in Minecraft. Certainly none of them graduate to Sketchup and 3D printers or join the maker culture.
    And the internet – what a bore. It’s totally ruining culture when kids can develop a curiosity about something and have access to all the information we know about it. Totally ruining it.

    I know, I know. The world should have stopped changing after you Boomers were done with your revolution. Anything “kids these days” do is awful – from trying to reduce debilitating injuries in a fucking *game* to using the technology available to them instead of relying on what was considered fun and valuable back in the Howdy Doody era of entertainment.

  18. Richard Nikoley on September 18, 2013 at 09:19

    Laf LXV.

    Now, at this point, some readers–newer readers maybe–are just waiting for how I launch into her (yes, she’s a her).

    Read this, first.

    Gril gamer chick knows when and how to lend a helping hand. That’s more than plenty for me.

  19. LXV on September 18, 2013 at 10:18

    Awww, after all that I get a pass just because I was helpful? I’ll try harder next time, lol.

    “Girl gamer chick” – and lifelong Steelers fan. I do enjoy some head-cracking hits in football.

    Yes. I’ve been hanging around long enough to know that you’re pretty much an equal opportunity “hater” and using a parody construction of the nagging, smothering mother as opposed to “women in reality” here. I know you know what strong women look like because I can’t imagine Bea is anything but kickass.

    Still, to paraphrase Hal Sparks: Pussies are tough. A pussy can take a pounding. Balls are weak and sensitive.

  20. Richard Nikoley on September 18, 2013 at 10:23


    There’s one quirk about me with good women. Once they’ve really done me right, as only a woman can do (different facets of that, but we’ve never met….so), they can essentially do no wrong forever.

    I like that trade, actually.

  21. Leo Desforges on September 18, 2013 at 11:55

    I buit stairs this weekend for the first time. It was wonderful.

  22. Richard Nikoley on September 18, 2013 at 12:51

    “I built stairs this weekend for the first time. ”

    Did you get certified to build stairs? If not, I guess I’d have to take my chances either way, making my way up into your place.

  23. Leo Desforges on September 18, 2013 at 16:30

    You must sign a waiver before approaching my deck.

  24. Richard Nikoley on September 18, 2013 at 17:15

    Did yo say “deck,” Leo, or was that a double entendre?

  25. Leo Desforges on September 18, 2013 at 19:52

    My dIck requires you holding my lawyers hand.

  26. Leo Desforges on September 18, 2013 at 19:53

    And probably his dick, too. That guy is a weirdo.

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