The New Gluten Free Products. Are They Any Good? I Put Them to the Test.

I’m almost certain that a few years back I must have laughed and joked about the advent of gluten free products. F-bombs, probably. “”Still not paleo,” probably. It seemed to me to be mostly cupcakes and other sugary baked goods. At the same time, because I’m on lists, I’m getting about a new “paleo” cookbook every couple of weeks in the mail, hoping for a review (I review some, getting pickier and pickier). I always at least browse them. And I must say, the omega-6 PUFA load in the cups and cups of highly concentrated almond in the form of flour used in so many of the baked goods is WORSE than gluten and sugar combined. My view.

So, I was content, from time to time, to just grab a nice, real baguette or some water crackers for a cheese, wine & fruit indulgence with guests. But since I go to Whole Foods often enough, I kept seeing more and more gluten free products. They have a label on the shelf now, making them easy to spot. I began reading some ingredient labels. One day, I just grabbed a box of Glutino’s original crackers. For something that’s not going to be eaten every day (took two weeks for Bea & I on that one box of 32 crackers), I thought the ingredients pretty reasonable.


I always give good points for short lists. Thing is, it wouldn’t have made a difference if they tasted like crap. But they don’t at all. They’re really damn good qua cracker. Macro wise, just under a gram of fat and 3 grams of carbs per cracker.

Then I went without Beatrice on a short, 2-day hang-glide & camp trip, sleep in the car deal. Didn’t want to deal with cooking or restaurants, so brought a cooler with boiled eggs, fruit, cherry tomatoes, whole milk and…Bakery On Main’s gluten free Nutty Cranberry Maple Granola (which I ate as cereal & milk). Careful. That stuff is crack in a bag! But still, nothing like an average cereal box ingredient list.

Above all, none of these products made me feel bad, by which I mean: heartburn or coma. And so I thought, ‘might as well test pasta & bread,’ so I did.

I began with Ancient Harvest Quinoa Spaghetti (ingredients: non-gmo organic corn flour, organic quinoa flour, water) and I must say, I think I like it better than wheat pasta. First, there’s an interesting aromatic element that takes you slightly aback, but then became quickly enhancing for me. Second is that wheat never, ever on its best day had al dente down so good. I actually found it hard to ruin, cooking it substantially longer the second time, just to see. I have some Glutino rice-based pasta to try next.

IMG 1942
Mom’s Spaghetti Sauce – Click for Hi-Res

The garlic toasts are gluten free (and yes, I like them al burnte, and I go to great lengths watching the broiler until they’re just right). Here’s basically mom’s sauce, which is fabulous, and the celery is the star. The marjoram is dope, too, just not too much.

Half of people’s whole problem with pasta, any pasta, is that they eat such fucking enormous portions of it (and “all you can eat” Olive Garden). What you see above is the size I was served by my Sicilian friends in their restaurant down the street a few times a week when I lived in France, so that’s the portion size I never exceed.

On to bread and this is where I was blown away the most. I’d noticed gluten free breads in the Whole Foods freezer for years. Maybe it’s just me, but I really am not interested in $5-6 for a loaf of frozen bread. Then suddenly there’s a couple in the regular bread section and since Udi’s White Sandwich Bread was the least cost at $4.99, got that one. I’m gobsmacked, because it’s just like decent sliced bread. It makes me wonder if fresh baguettes are not too far behind. All it takes is enough of a market. Very, very impressed. Duplicates good sliced bread on every level.

Here, I get a bit carried away. Given your toasted bread and mayo as substrate, here’s what you can do with tuna salad, tomato, medium boiled egg, dill pickle and yellow onion.

IMG 1948
Click For Big. Hurry, While It’s Still Pretty.

My German grandmother always used to make sandwich variety plates with what she had on hand, including liverwurst, and always on French bread. This platter was for Bea & I for Sunday Night Football, where the 49ers were embarassed two weeks in a row. Wish they could do as well as Beatrice in her fantasy football league. 14 teams comprised mostly of her sports junkie brothers, brothers-in-law and nephews, and she’s not only 3-0 and in 1st place, but the top scoring team. I knew she was getting into it yesterday when I got into her car and KNBR Sports Talk 680 is on the radio.

Here was desert.

IMG 1947
A Pat of Unsalted Kerrygold, and TJ’s Salted Creamy Peanut Butter

Bea had never had toast with butter and peanut butter. She basically thought it was crack on wheels.

Like I said, I got a bit carried away. Plus, I haven’t made tuna salad in many months, and so I did a 4-can batch. Accordingly, this was first meal of the day, last two days in a row.

IMG 1953
No Explanation Necessary

There’s a good reason I do 1/2 tomato sandwiches (a tomato sandwich is toast, lots of mayo, thick sliced red ripe tomato—sprinkle of salt & pepper and not one thing else). I seem to be able to stop there. If I have a whole tomato sandwich, then I will automatically have three tomato sandwiches.

In all, results are fantastic. They just don’t make me feel like wheat products do at all. No heartburn, no coma. We still intend to keep it pretty reasonable, though, and plus the products are quite expensive relatively. In all, for two people, it’s 4 servings of spaghetti and 1 1/2 small loaves of bread in two weeks time. So, probably no need to call out the paleo Cavalry to haul us off. You can tell the folks on Exile Island to stand down.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. Geoff on September 26, 2013 at 22:11

    The Udo’s white bread is good, I would keep it in the freezer and then just toast it up so I wouldn’t have to eat it very quickly; I’d throw bacon and eggs onto it as a sandwich sometimes when I felt like eating them in that form factor, eggs fried in bacon grease FTW.

    The best gluten free spaghetti I’ve ever had is Goldbaum’s, it’s also hard to overcook because it’s rice, probably even harder than the quinoa. I believe the only ingredients are brown rice flower and water, and maybe some brown rice fiber or something. I came across it in my local Gristedes, but it’s on Amazon as well.

  2. Cody on September 26, 2013 at 15:41

    You’re gonna die, man!



  3. Mike on September 26, 2013 at 15:46

    Sorry about the 9ers Richard, I am still as shocked!! As you

  4. Richard Nikoley on September 26, 2013 at 15:59

    Sure demonstrates the value of Crabtree, don-it?

  5. CDLXI on September 26, 2013 at 16:24

    If you want a good crusty baguette try this recipe it is even better than the store bought ones. They freeze perfectly and are made with very simple ingredients.

  6. Amy on September 26, 2013 at 16:31

    I’m still trying to get off the gluten. No real medical need to do so, at least I don’t think so, but my doctor thinks I’m silly and won’t order any tests for me because, as she says, it’s in my head and I read too much.

    Actually, it’s in my stomach, I can’t fit into my jeans for days after eating some bread or pasta. If I keep the serving small I can tolerate it, but good luck with that, wheat is like crack for me. I start with a little and it turns into a lot, right quick.

    I don’t buy prepared GF breads but have some excellent recipes to make my own – sammie bread, baguettes, and a g-free pizza crust that no one can tell is not wheat based. I have that kind of time. Tinkyada GF rice pasta is good stuff, great texture. I’ve never liked the taste or smell of quinoa so I don’t think I’d like the quinoa pasta very much.

    Paleo was a tough commitment for me because I just love love love bread so much but I know bread is a trigger for me and so I’m reluctantly giving it up, plus LC’ing is helpful to my mental state even if I can’t shed a fucking pound (nursing a big baby sucks, pun intended).

    Spot on about the almond flour in “paleo” baked goods. My son cannot eat any nuts, eggs, or dairy so any paleo cookies or crackers are out. That leaves me using GF flours and vegan GF recipes for any treats for the kiddos. GF products have made a big difference in our diet, I’m glad for them. I know GF is such a First World SWPL problem but since I have options and feel great eating that way, I’ll take them.

  7. Laurie D. on September 26, 2013 at 17:05

    Go for the Against the Grain baguettes and bagels. Made from tapioca flour (can we say safe starch?) They make a good roll too. Also Tinkyada pastas are good too. I agree on the Udi’s and the other products – spot on. I was gf long before paleo came on the scene. There is still a lot of bad gf products, but there is nothing like a good sandwich or small bowl of pasta from time to time. Chebe makes a good pizza crust too – tapioca based again. I just finished an Udi’s sandwich with leftover pastured pork shoulder cooked last night, some fermented vegetables on top, and a spot of mayo and tomato from the garden. And a glass of local apple cider. I have nothing against paleo in the mindset of just eating real food. Sometimes I think paleo has become like politics – there are Republican Paleos (no sugar/starch/substitutes ever), Democratic Paleos (let’s makeover every junk food known to man as paleo), and Libertarian Paleos (just eat real food, man, and skip the crap that makes you feel bad).

  8. rose fryer on September 26, 2013 at 17:42

    Udi’s sourdough bread is also something I can tolerate well. Perhaps it’s the fermenting process. Not a regular thing, but it keeps up to a month in the freezer.

  9. CDLXI on September 26, 2013 at 18:14

    Laurie D. The link I posted above is a copycat recipe for against the grain rolls and baguettes but even better. I can’t stand to pay over 7 bucks for 2 smallish baguettes but I did for a couple of years until I moved over 100 miles from the nearest store that carries against the grain products, so that forced me to learn to make my own for 1/4 of the cost. The outrageous price of some of the gluten free products pisses me off.

  10. Mike on September 26, 2013 at 18:35

    Indy has to be the luckiest franchise in NFL history Manning forever 1 hiccup then Andrew Luck for another 10 yrs but I will take it

  11. Jay Jay on September 26, 2013 at 19:19

    That matches my findings almost exactly! You got lucky, and hit upon some of the best products. I’ve tried a ton of GF products, and you basically hit my top 5 list. My wife and I are also in love with Tinkyada rice pasta.

    But there are a bunch of GF frankenfoods out there too! Plus many based on brown rice (“whole grain”). Most brown rice stuff gives me problems much like wheat. .

    And I have problems with wheat. Don’t know if the gluten or what, but I suspect that’s a big part of it. When I was hard core low carb, I ate all sorts of low carb bread products (some I made myself), that were based on pure gluten flour. It was at the same time that my health hit an all time low. Could be a coincidence, but I’m not chancing it any more.

  12. marie on September 26, 2013 at 20:52

    Nope, I don’t get it. Empty calories is empty calories, so they’re just for treats and occasional gourmet indulgences, no?
    Well sweets and treats don’t have to be baked. Just how many different kinds of treats does anyone need?

    Granted you have the good ones here Richard, but most are simply frankenfoods and so, caveat emptor!
    Best not to have that mind-set at all, you know, like staying away from crap-in-a-bag by shopping the outside walls of the supermarket. Same idea with baked goodies (baddies?)

    Here’s a good use for all those gummy flours : spit-balls. Or glue, in a pinch, though nothing’s as good as wheat flour for that 😀 .

    So o.k., I may be a wee bit grumpy on this one, I have friends that keep pushing these things on me, I think so they’ll feel better eating a cornucopia of ‘healthy’ junk food ! I’ve taken to carrying dark chocolate bars so people don’t fuss over me when the gluten-free bagels, along with all the regular goop, come out at staff meetings.
    There’s a gluten-free craze out there. A $half-Billion market in Canada alone.

  13. La Frite on September 27, 2013 at 01:02

    Salut Marie, je suis assez d’accord avec toi. Une fois les habitudes changées, il n’y a pas vraiment de raison de réintroduire ce genre d’ersatz. Nothing beats the original stuff and since you learned to live without, why adopt these processed foods ?

    Of course, it is a matter of personal choice, nothing wrong with Richard’s trying some of these GF foods. I did as well here and there but I am not impressed by the taste and end up forgetting about them.

  14. marie on September 27, 2013 at 15:41

    LeonRover, don’t listen to him chéri, you invariably bring about a certain state of mind 😉

    This performance! Richard, I think you’ll like 🙂

  15. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 16:23


    Here’s theYang to my Yin quip earlier. Let’s see if LR gets it. 🙂

  16. yien on September 27, 2013 at 03:00

    “Still not Paleo, probably”

    This post made me think, if I had to choose; 06, gluten and sugar — which would be the first paleo “unquestionably bad in excess” domino to fall. I think “sugar” will be first to topple, then o6…and gluten never.

  17. La Frite on September 27, 2013 at 04:33

    Richard, try this very simple recipe when you have some time:

    – mix 150g of buckwheat flour with 3 cups full fat milk, 3 large eggs, salt to taste, flavors like say onion / garlic powders, paprika powder, herbal salt, etc, to taste.
    – Let it rest between 5mn to 1 hour, preferably in the fridge, but it is not mandatory.

    The batter should be quite liquid if you respect these quantities.

    Warm up a crepe pan, when hot enough add a small chunk of butter and make as many crepes as you can or feel like doing (they should be thin).

    They make excellent wraps to whatever you want (smoked ham, fried eggs, ripe avocado, fresh tomatoes, etc). Grate a bit of gouda on top and voilà 🙂

  18. Paul C on September 27, 2013 at 05:17

    The Udi’s white is my favorite, as it toasts extremely well with great crunch, better then many wheat loafs, imo. I don’t eat much, just enough for a steak sandwich or a BLT once in a while, or to dip in eggs sunny side up. Also kid-friendly as they are more sensitive to odd and bitter tastes and the Udi’s has none.

  19. bornagain on September 27, 2013 at 05:31

    I always thought Matt Stone was a little bit bonkers but I see he was on to resistant starch nearly 4 years ago.

  20. LeonRover on September 27, 2013 at 22:55

    LR is like Schrodinger’s Cat under a Hot Tin Roof – with nemo to open the box
    (umlaut he gone missin’ AGAIN).
    The Rover Uncertainty Principle. avec un Pogue (póg)

    Why? Has he bin Big Feated?

    No. She be trew.


  21. marie on September 27, 2013 at 09:01

    Salut LaFrite.
    C’est ça! et d’ailleurs, je crois que la psychologie est importante, c’est-à-dire, on ne perd pas, si on n’a pas ce type de produit.
    Like sodas/soft drinks, I just forget about them too….most of the time, because over here they are everywhere now, following vegetarian and vegan choices on menus.

  22. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 09:34

    C’est ne pas ca. Pas du tout.

  23. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 09:39

    …BTW, I like the fresh squeezed OJ maker at Whole Foods. From whole oranges to non pasteurized OJ in seconds while you watch. Takes about 10 days, checking my WF receipts, to do through a quart.

    The dose makes the poison.

  24. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 09:41

    I dose it by adding a couple of shots–yea, I treat it exactly like booze–to a kefir or kefir and milk mix, or in a glass of club soda for a sparkling beverage.

  25. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 09:46

    But feel free to chastise me for not being zealot enough. I stand on my very, very long history that in terms of Paleo, obliterates every Paleo book in terms of their obligatory chapter on treats and desserts with huge levels of n-6. Enormous, levels, I should say.

    Going all the way back to 2007. Try to find one single sweet treat concoction.

    I loath disingenuous behavior, especially when I fall for it myself.

  26. marie on September 27, 2013 at 10:08

    Ah, non? Alors, tu crois que les produits de boulangerie sont nécessaires, donc on besoin des replacements? If they should be treats, then can use the real thing since only on occasion. If one can’t, like me (sévère IBS with wheat, verified celiac now, never ate it as a kid, had ice-cream cake for birthdays) then can enjoy so many other treats. Surtout, c’est la psychologie. La pauvre, il me manque les croissants! Toutes les autres petites gâteries sont inférieurs, quoi?
    (excuse my phone keypad, does not switch back and forth easily)

  27. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 10:30

    “Ah, non?”

    Oui. Non.

    “Alors, tu crois que les produits de boulangerie sont nécessaires, donc on besoin des replacements?

    Non, mais pas moins que yogurt & honey.

    “If they should be treats”

    Full stop. A simple bowl of homemade spaghetti that takes a minimum of 4 hours to do properly, put on evil GF pasta instead of heavenly spaghetti squash or julienned squash is not a treat, it’s a fucking meal, and just for that, you’re invited over for spaghetti.

    Moreover, neither is amazingly red, vine ripened tomatoes, par boiled eggs, tuna salad and other goodies on a 1 square inch of toast a treat. And as well, a couple of sandwiches with said tomats and tuna salad do not constitute a penchant for treats.

    “then can use the real thing since only on occasion.”

    I have done that, and it only makes me want to more. I miss my burnt toasted sesame seed bagels with full fat cream cheese, for instance–my breakfast every weekday as a stop off to the office, for years. Ever tasted a nearly burnt sesame seed? Don’t knock it. Crack to me.

    “sévère IBS with wheat”

    Shocking non-sequitur, coming from you.

    “Surtout, c’est la psychologie. La pauvre, il me manque les croissants! Toutes les autres petites gâteries sont inférieurs, quoi?”

    Je dis encore. C’est pas ca.

  28. Contemplationist on September 27, 2013 at 10:40

    Hey Richard

    Now that you aren’t so much into fat anymore (excess of it), do you still
    have Liquid Fat Bombs now and then?

  29. marie on September 27, 2013 at 10:59

    Oh come on now, non sequitur redux : the one who couldn’t have yogurt and honey can’t have any treats of any kind and most foods, so not relevant, since a point is that bakery goods are not the only treats for gluten-sensitive folk.
    More though, to the original point, yogurt and honey have nutritional benefits. So does squash, julienned or not. GF pasta, muffins, bread etc generally don’t. “Empty calories is empty calories”. Therefore treats, not meals. Unfortunately, with GF products it becomes too easy to then consider them as meals and make them a large part of the diet. They are ‘healthy’ now!

    Anyway, c’est rien, it is just lost on me. Each too his own crack, eh? See me with a chocolate chip ice cream and I won’t be so nonchalant 😀

  30. La Frite on September 27, 2013 at 11:16

    Bon, let’s clear something:
    – I agree with Richard that so-called paelo desserts are quite toxic to my mind. I tried some almond flour stuff back then when I ditched the wheat … I could never get a decent pancake. Then I thought: quelle perte de temps, y a le sarrasin / what a waste of time, there’s buckwheat! Good ol’ Bretons 🙂

    – I check the GF aisle from time to time when I shop: it’s mostly full of toxic shit as well, same weirdo chemicals in most of them, or we find a complete lack of nutrition save for a massive amount of pre-cooked starch. The latter are benign and welcome in the kitchen from time to time (rice crackers, buckwheat or rice spaghetti, etc) but having lost the habit of using these processed foods, I don’t buy them. What I am after in this aisle is some sort of evolution: gluten-free does not have to mean same ol’ shit just without gluten. But man is it slow to evolve. I also find lots of sugar-free products in the GF area but that’s the same jungle of toxic stuff. You have to read labels like crazy and 90% of the time, you buy nothing. I found some xylitol or erythritol sweetened chocolate though so all is not lost 🙂
    But if I happen to have lunch with you and what you serve is GF spaghetti, no prob, I will eat it, I am sure the sauce tastes nice. Spaghetti on their own are nothing, it is just a vehicle for nutritious stuff that you add to them.

  31. Father Nature on September 27, 2013 at 11:55

    If you do want a treat, you might be interested in the Primal Cravings cookbook from the folks at Health Bent. None of the recipes in the treats section use nut flour. The baked treats use tapioca flour and coconut flour.

  32. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 11:58

    Nope, no liquid fat bombs. Not because I;m against them, its just not my eating style which has changed dramatically. That is, I just dont try to add fats. I’m over the flag waving. I understand their value and such understanding has brought me to a place where I think I better understand their metabolic role in an evolutionary context.

    Nothing to fear but nothing also to add in a context where it’s very easy to do. It’s not a “low fat” regime, but it is, other that a bit of butter or EVOO, or a coconut milk curry, just leave it at that.

  33. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 12:00

    “the one who couldn’t have yogurt and honey”

    Show me in recent terms, if ever, ever. Show it, or you know what.

  34. marie on September 27, 2013 at 12:04

    Huh? I though you were specifically referring to my father when you brought that up. Are we talking at cross-purposes?

  35. marie on September 27, 2013 at 12:17

    “or you know what” – heh, you’re just itching to put up castle anthrax, aren’t you? 😀
    Fine, I deserve it, you were addressing strictly the ‘necessaires’ part of that comment.
    If you replace ‘necessary’ with ‘beneficial’, that reflects more accurately what I mean, as you see in the second paragraph.

  36. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 12:28

    “Huh? I though…”

    Non. Pad du tout.

    “Non, mais pas moins que yogurt & honey.”

    ‘No, but less than yogurt & honey;’ i.e., you’re complaining about world class pasta sauce (approved by my Sicilian friends in France, who loved the celery) on a bed of pasta that’s made of rice & water. Complaining about a host of fine ingredients—and my wife takes my tuna salad to school and never gets any for herself—on a tiny toast made with more than half potato starch and tapioca starch.

    OK, so you’re pissed about something.

    I just tweeted: “Women are pricing themselves out of the market.”

  37. LeonRover on September 27, 2013 at 12:36

    Pauvre Rich,

    Women in general may be overpriced, in fact a majority are a drug on the market.

    BUT Marie is a Priceless Pearl among Savantes.

    (just like yr own Dear Beatitude.)


  38. marie on September 27, 2013 at 12:41

    No. What that means : “No, but not less than yogurt and honey”, which would mean GF products are equivalent to yogurt and honey.
    So you see, considering what you actually said, my response was rather cheerful. Downright generous. Positively positive… 🙂

  39. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 12:48


    “Good ol’ Bretons”

    Riddle I heard back when (my GF for a time in Toulon was Bretonne—don’t know if you ever say this: )

    “C’est pourquoi les Bretonnes ont toujours les cuisses rouges?”

    I knew why, but only because personal grooming wasn’t a huge thing in the French Navy, so I would go days without shaving.


  40. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 12:54

    “No, but not less than yogurt and honey”

    Yes, and that’s exactly what I meant, at which point, context comes into play.

    Please pay attention. 🙂

  41. marie on September 27, 2013 at 12:58

    Yes, sensei 🙂

  42. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 13:02

    “Yes, sensei :)”

    Look at it this way. I may not have poked Stone in the eye (see latest post) without getting poked in the eye, putting me into that certain state of mind.

    But anyway, and tying it up with my comment to La Frite…


  43. marie on September 27, 2013 at 13:19

    Ahaha, that video is “à propos” incredibly frequently on this site.
    Et voilà, I’m happy to tease you out of any state of mind 😀
    (la perle)

  44. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 15:08


    Now who can’t get a joke?

  45. Richard Nikoley on September 27, 2013 at 16:44


    My favorite BJ story.

    Alex was my first next-door neighbor at Finley Hall Dorm at Oregon State. I’d transferred in, so 3rd yr undergrad. He was a grad student from UW, CHEMISTRY. Working on his PhD in, as he called it, Orgasmic Chemistry (he got it, big wig in Pharm industry now)

    What a fucking brain. German heritage (red hair, red beard German). I probably owe my atheism to him. He was oh so gentle with me on science, when I look back, and it took almost 10 years, but I eventually got it. His younger brother was a total automath. By the time Alex got his BS, his younger brother had gotten his BA at about 17, and JD at 19 or 20.

    Brainiac family. Alex was into cars (every magazine subscription) and an audiophile with a very impressive vinyl collection with pristine jackets (that’s the shame of digital, eh LR?). He doted on his vinyl. Always a swipe of solution on a dust pad prior to sticking a needle in it.

    His favorite band was The Who. I never understood that but, his favorite album in terms of everything, was Piano Man, and so I had many opportunities to study that vinyl cover and appreciate it and in time, became a huge BJ fan myself, even if not in a New York state of mind.

    About any state of mind will do.

  46. La Frite on September 28, 2013 at 07:55

    Faire un pompier ? … mmmm, our colloquial language has evolved some since, not sure nowadays youngsters would understand …

    But check that one Richard:
    It is still there 😀

  47. marie on September 27, 2013 at 18:34

    “Always a swipe of solution on a dust pad prior to sticking a needle in it” – I remember doing this. And the excitement of going with dad to select new ‘stereo’ system in time for my sweet 16 party, something mesmerizing about watching the records turn as you listened to compare sound.

    “About any state of mind will do” – and that right there is one 🙂

    Meanwhile, I’ve been laughing aloud as intended, crowing clapton is hilarious, since LR knows his Victoria is true. Still, you know you can be a real bear at times, switching to rooster now rather violates the laws of nature! 😀 😀

  48. LeonRover on September 27, 2013 at 23:47

    Any state of mind will do – as any dream.

    This is quintessential Shane (póg mo thón) McGowan’s state of NY:

    “You took my dreams from me” !!

    And IS a PianoMan – cool left

  49. LeonRover on September 27, 2013 at 23:49


    – cool left hand. Think I’ll smoke me a glow in the dark e-ciggy.

  50. LeonRover on September 27, 2013 at 23:55


    And BJ IS a PianoMan.

    (dawn has been red here this a m – not Chrysafi)

  51. gallier2 on September 28, 2013 at 02:19

    marie said
    Toutes les autres petites gâteries sont inférieurs, quoi?

    You should be careful with the the word gâteries. Its meaning has shifted and doesn’t really mean “a treat” anymore but a special treat a woman can do with her tongue to a man…

  52. LeonRover on September 28, 2013 at 03:01

    Mmmmm Gallier2,

    Surely THOSE gâteries would be both grosses & supérieurs, as long as he holds her by the ears . . .


  53. La Frite on September 28, 2013 at 03:01

    I did not bother mentioning it but now that you did, I can only confirm 🙂

    PS: inférieurEs by the way!

  54. LeonRover on September 28, 2013 at 03:33

    LaFrite & Gallier2

    What did Asterix do when approached thusly ?


  55. marie on September 28, 2013 at 05:48

    Oh my! This has not transferred to Quebec, yet…. or I move in innocent circles 😉

  56. Richard Nikoley on September 28, 2013 at 07:36


    What happened to good ‘ol ‘fare un pompier’?

  57. La Frite on September 28, 2013 at 07:57

    The expressions for “cunnilingus” are really funny, let me translate:

    tarte au poil = hair pie
    broute minou = grazing cat
    peigner/brosser/ratisser la moquette/le tapis = carpet brushing …

  58. Richard Nikoley on September 28, 2013 at 07:58

    As is tallier une pipe, another one I recall.

  59. La Frite on September 28, 2013 at 08:10

    A classic 🙂

  60. gallier2 on September 28, 2013 at 08:24

    Yes, “tailler ou faire une pipe” and pompier are the most common but “faire une gâterie” is not as explicit and often used in double entendre joke. It is now so common that the salacious meaning is the first to come up.

    As for the cunnilingus, I could add: faire une minette (doing the puss-puss) , faire la cave (doing the cellar), brouter le gazon (grazing) and simply and upfront lécher la chatte (licking the pussy).

  61. La Frite on September 28, 2013 at 08:55

    y a aussi “le croque-chatte” …

  62. LeonRover on September 28, 2013 at 11:54

    I wonder will JudgyBitch have anything pertinent to contribute ?

  63. marie on September 28, 2013 at 12:33

    indeed “context becomes important”. Tiens, you said “My favorite BJ story” and “I became a huge BJ fan myself” … following those gâteries. Freud, mon vieux! Or, your cunning linguistics cross langue-age barriers 🙂

    LaFrite, Officiel de l’Académie française,
    merci pour la formation supérieurE 😉

    if she’s wise, JB wouldn’t touch this discussion with a ten-foot pole (said the Actress to the Bishop…of course!)

    O.k, I’m all done now. You guys were having way too much fun without me, while I was slaving away at a community school as I do every Saturday morning (cue violins)…teaching, wait for it, Language skills ! (LR and RN can confirm this is coincidentally true! 😀 )

  64. marie on September 28, 2013 at 13:27

    gallier2, instigateur! And oh so innocently warning me, why, you were just being helpful of course…
    I think I now know why my cousin is always smiling, if this is how you folks at the translation directorate amuse yourselves au Luxembourg?! 🙂

    I see you caught the news before I did, Au Dawn is finally behind bars, and may they rot in hell.
    On another note, one may prefer to join that kitty on the hot tin roof, where there’s no uncertainty but only up-close póga, toujours, and to “dream together” in a festive NY 🙂

  65. LeonRover on September 29, 2013 at 04:52

    This comment thread throws a curious light on Renaissance Popes naming their favourite Burgundian wine SoixanteNeuf du Pape . . .

    And soixante-neuf may also describe penis-lingus . . .

  66. Rob O. on October 1, 2013 at 09:28

    I’ve tried a number of the Udi’s products and they ARE great! The cinnamon raisin bread is seriously good! But I was caught off-guard when I noticed you said you had prepped 4 cans of tuna. Cans? No way, dude! You desperately need to splurge a few extra cents on the tuna in the foil pouches. I’ve tried Bumblebee and it didn’t seem as flavorful as Starkist, but either way, they blow the canned tuna out of the water!

    Speaking of which, I’d love to find a GF wrap or tortilla ‘cuz I really miss my old kick-butt tuna wraps:

  67. LeonRover on September 30, 2013 at 23:37

    An example of Environmental Mimetic Transformation for the triplet FTA

    FreeTA ->FuckTA -> SuckTA

    Evolution or Creationism ?

  68. Richard Nikoley on October 1, 2013 at 09:32


    I think I’m good. TJs Tuna is all canned and I trust them a bit more than Starkist and Blumblebee.

    Otherwise, this stuff is crack, if you’ve got the pocketbook. It’s fucking crack. Cooked once in the can, in its own juice, no water or oil added.

  69. Rob O. on October 1, 2013 at 11:58

    Lucky dog. We’ve no Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s out here in West Texas. So, ya gotta make the most of what HEB or Albertson’s supermarkets offer and generally, the tuna in pouches has a far better texture and more flavor.

  70. […] it's not a staple. Bea and I have gone through exactly five 12 oz loaves in 2 months! I previously blogged about trying some of the new gluten free products, here. I should emphasize that I don't really know what it is about wheat that makes me bloated, feeling […]

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