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The Doctors and CBS is Still On Soap and Shampoo, For Now

Twitter and FTA Facebook Pagers got wind of this, but back some weeks ago when I went on HuffPo Live over—once again—not using soap or shampoo (washing with water only) for nearly the last five years, it turned into an inquiry from CBS to be on their national daytime show, The Doctors.

You know me. I’m like, “sure, when?”

“We’ll be in touch.”

Then I didn’t hear anything for 2 weeks and just assumed it was a dead deal. I have some sense about how stuff like that goes. Then I get the call. That’s one of three reasons I just had to take my mind off blogging for a week. So since Monday, it’s all been about background info, questions, emails, photos, etc. Plus, the show was scheduled for next Thursday, October 17, and it was the one day—give or take 30—where I had a real, no shit, hard conflict. That’s a matter I can’t discuss, but I had to ignore a firm “NO” four times in a row and go at the guy again and again to get him to relent and reschedule. It was just like you see in the movies when that happens. It can actually work, simply not taking no for an answer, but nicely. Don’t beg, though.

Schedule conflict out of the way, coordination continued with the show’s producers. Then, when finally pitched to the executives Tuesday night, it hit a snag. Let me give you a hint by means of two potential headlines:

  1. Man doesn’t use soap or shampoo for 5 years.
  2. Husband doesn’t use soap or shampoo for 5 years.

There’s a short but powerful epistemology and marketing lesson for you all in one. No charge.

I actually felt a tinge of dumb when Lindsay called for the half-dozenth time Tuesday evening, still in the office (“It’s only 7!”), to tell me it was a deal breaker unless Beatrice could appear on the show as well. Ah…Grasshopper…moment. I love a new “learn” or insight every day and when it’s actual experience like that, I never forget it. Now, if you understand the distinction between those two headlines and the import given the market segment of the show, here’s your bonus: with Beatrice appearing, there would be no question that I actually have gone nearly 5 years without soap or shampoo.

You’re welcome.

Bea spoke with Lindsay a couple of times, at length. It would require her taking off three days next week. Plus, deal with the dogs, one of which is a bit special care right now.

Let me give you two potential headlines as to why this ultimately didn’t work out for next Thursday’s show.

  1. Deadline 30 days away, woman gets busy
  2. Deadline 30 hours away, man gets busy

I’m a business guy and the woman I married is a school teacher in her 31st year. Bea is never late on anything, because it’s ready for multiple reviews two weeks before it’s needed. I thrive on pressure and the fear of failure and embarrassment and I always do my best work and enjoy it the most when I’m both scared to death and pissed at myself for yet again procrastinating something I could have wrapped up weeks ago.

Different Yin-Yang wave links that happen to work for us, but principally because I always know my limits with Bea. Duh, she knows I want to do this. But never in the 15ish years we’ve been together has she ever felt dominated to do what I want, or else.

I suppose that’s the fundamental reason for this post, actually; because I regularly play asshole for entertainment value here…because this is entertainment principally, self help secondarily. But this is my gig, not Bea’s, and she’s neither a regular reader nor commenter and I have never insisted that she be. She just doesn’t read blogs, or drop comments anywhere. Envy that. I do, sometimes.

And so, there’s absolutely no way I was going to dominate, cajole, intimidate, imply threats or take away a single piece of my love over her being uncomfortable with too sudden, too pressure, too quick. Right now or else.

But Lindsay called back. She inquired as to whether Bea didn’t want to go on at all, or was it just the suddenness and pressure of a Television production deadline? Of course, it’s the latter. Bea’s all smiley about going on. So, it’s possible it could still happen in the future. But, it’s basically back to the grab bag for us, so we’ll see.

…And I feel good.

Let’s suppose I’d resorted to the standard liberties spouses presume they’re entitled to by virtue of “spousehood.”

“Bea, look, this is what married people do. They support one another no matter what. You have to do this. You must help me out here. Imagine; on the cover of my next book is ‘as seen on The Doctors.’ You can’t deny me this. You better just do it.”

Those italics, other than the show title, signify imperatives intended to dominate someone else. Anarchy begins at home, so I don’t do that. I don’t need laws. I don’t even need moral imperatives and there’s nothing wrong in business or love in stating your terms and standing firm. But I imagine us sitting on the set, live, all smiles and exuberant. Her feeling bad about acquiescing to my dominating intimidation and guilt foistering, me feeling bad about doing it.

You don’t need laws and you don’t even need so-called moral imperatives, per se. Not if you’re selfish enough to care about what you think of yourself.

I have to conclude with a mention of the astounding professionalism of Lindsay Sutton, one of the show’s producers. She was tenacious and did everything she could to make it happen. Even attempted to contact the school and school district over the time-off questions. Tenacious, edge of pushy, i.e., perfect. Get this. From Monday to today I either returned her call or called her on pending issues nearly 2 dozen times. She picked up first ring each and every time. 100%. Astounding work ethic that instills hope in me for the future, in the hands of those young people.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More

21 Comments

  1. Greg Swann on October 10, 2013 at 20:08

    I love it. Absent careful, conscious attention, almost everything in human social relations is about dominance and submission — as you note backed by threats of inclusion and exclusion. This is poison, ultimately, to long-term relationships, even if it seems to be working adequately in the short run. How do you stay friends with your wife? Treat her with the same respect you would show to a friend.

  2. beans mcgrady on October 10, 2013 at 20:35

    The soap thing is interesting and worthwhile. I found this blog via the fark link way back when, and have been here almost every day since. (also gave up the soap soon after)
    But it would be kind of funny if you wind up with your fifteen minutes because so many people are so freaked out by their need for bath products.
    Much of what goes on here really has been far more valuable.
    But fuck it, go on TV, sounds like fun if it happens.

  3. EatLessMoveMoore on October 10, 2013 at 21:17

    And in completely unrelated news, GOD told Jimmy Moore to cut carbs: http://youtu.be/lN5Ik_oE7xs.

    You just can’t make this shit up.

  4. bornagain on October 10, 2013 at 21:33

    @ELMM. Jimmy should ask god to teach him how to cook like Richard. Those overcooked eggs and microwave bacon he cooked and ate in the video looked disgusting. Jesus should punish him for wasting perfectly good ingredients.

  5. bornagain on October 10, 2013 at 21:59

    @ELMM. My advice to Jimmy is to take responsibility for himself. If god was really looking after him he wouldn’t have let him get so fat to begin with IMFHO.

  6. tatertot on October 11, 2013 at 17:03

    @MsMcG – I, too, oil pull. Been doing it for almost 3 years. Wrote about it on PaleoHacks a while back:

    first answer is me (akman).

    As I got deeper into the RS/gut health thing, I realized the mouth is just the ‘sweet end’ of the digestive system. The bacteria there are just as important as anywhere else. Oil pulling seems to balance out the microbes in the mouth. I don’t buy any of the hocus-pocus ‘blood detox/cleanse’ theories, just the fact that sesame oil removes harmful bacteria without harsh chemicals.

  7. Richard Nikoley on October 11, 2013 at 07:39

    @Its Teh Wooo

    Just so you know, your comments are only ending up in the moderation queue because you keep using different email addresses, silly. 🙂

  8. tatertot on October 11, 2013 at 11:35

    As much as I hate shows like The Doctors and Dr. Oz, I would love to see you out there spreading the word. Hope it works out. Thanks for sharing.

  9. CCM on October 11, 2013 at 11:47

    Off-topic: my kid is moving to the South Bay (if the job offer comes through)…..where is the best place to find grassfed meats and organ meats?

  10. John on October 11, 2013 at 13:43

    I wash my hair about once every week or 2, and have done so for the past several years, inspired by your posts. I haven’t been able to give up shampoo completely, though. Hair product (bumbe&bumble sumotech) builds a residue that requires more than water.

    I’ve also been following George Carlin’s prescription regarding the key areas of bathing, as far as soap is concerned. I’ve noticed much improvement to my skin in the past few years. Most noticeable is that my back stays mostly clear, and this is regardless of length of time under hot water. Also, my skin, though not oily looking, now repels water much like a freshly waxed car.

    I know someone with a multitude of skin problems who has multiple cleansing prescriptions (face, arms, back, etc) and a rigorous daily wash routine. this person makes fun of my “dirty” “unwashed” lifestyle. This person balks at the idea of cutting back a little on extreme cleansing regimen. Its frustrating to see someone unwilling to try something new, (“hey the skin has this natural protective layer you destroy, you create more room for bacteria, if all these products aren’t working as you want, why not try a little time without them?) but oh well.

    • Dr. Curmudgeon Gee on August 3, 2014 at 18:46

      i have not used shampoo for a while because of FTA; i use soap occasionally when my hands are really dirty (e.g., yard work).
      it’s more frugal too. XD

      a lot of women who wash & wash with $$$ detergents only to slab back even more $$$$ cream/lotion/conditioner on skin & hair.
      seems pointless to me

      cheers,

  11. Woodchuck Pirate on October 11, 2013 at 14:02

    Isn’t “The Doctors” an element of the medical monopoly which by definition is diametrically opposed to anarchism? Pragmatism is aversion to principle. No valid philosophy can’t be practiced to the nth degree.

    Woodchuck Pirate
    aka Raymond J Raupers Jr USA
    http://www.woodchuckpirate.com

  12. tatertot on October 11, 2013 at 14:05

    fwiw, I have never been user of bar soap, even as a kid growing up. I used to wash my hair with shampoo daily up until about 2 years ago (also based on FTA) and now only use shampoo if I need to get smoke smell or bug spray out of my hair. I use a dab of deodorant daily during the work week, and a dab of toothpaste once or twice a week.

  13. MsMcGillicuddy on October 11, 2013 at 14:59

    I mostly clean my body and hair with oils, it’s the old “oil on oil ” thing.
    Rinse with water – result – clean, soft skin and shiny hair.

  14. MsMcGillicuddy on October 11, 2013 at 15:02

    left out – also, oil sometimes in the place of toothpaste:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oil_pulling

  15. Richard Nikoley on October 11, 2013 at 16:55

    @CCM

    Have him/her look up Marin Sun Farms.

  16. Rollory on October 14, 2013 at 11:50

    I came here by way of Billy Beck running his mouth (what’s up with this planned takedown of him anyway? I’d like to see it), but now I have to ask – is there some place you have gone into this no-shampoo thing in detail? I have tried washing just with water on occasion (mainly from being lazy) and it just doesn’t deal with the grease well enough for more than the short term – the occasional shampoo is just necessary. (Soap on the other hand just creates dandruff, in my experience) So I wonder what you are doing to mitigate that.

  17. Richard Nikoley on October 14, 2013 at 13:59

    Rollary:

    I’m blocked from seeing anything Billy posts on his public Facebook so I’m at a loss to adequately address this. You might put that in his face, if you like. I.e., he can read my stuff, I don’t get to read his and while this is a dispute, it’s not exactly bullets and this will never come to that. But, we both have significant common readers so, it would be sporting of him to at least allow me to see what he writes if he does, and we take it from there.

    In a measure of time, I intend to write a series about young libertarians living in squalor because everything is so fucked you can’t do anything. So you sit on the computer rather than building a business (which I did, to 30 employees and over $3 mil per year AFTER knowing Billy on USENET way back).

    Otherwise, Billy is pretty much a flea to me, now. I’ve met him in person twice, BTW.

    He’s pissed because I called his bluff about never daring to email me, and he contacted my email provider to have my account shut down, and I called his bluff on that threat. I’ll send electrons his way any time I want, though I’ve had no need of doing so since I told him that in email after the threat and nothing has happened to my email account.

    Still, I will go forward with the series but Billy will basically be a backdrop. I don’t wish him harm, but I do wish people he harms well.

  18. Richard Nikoley on October 14, 2013 at 14:25

    Ah, I see he actually posted that on his blog.

    Four days and counting, and first notice of it. Well, that’s what you get from ignoring a blog for about 3 years and turning to Facebook to jerk off to the choir (note that he never had comments on his blog, so as to shield himself from reality)

  19. Richard Nikoley on October 14, 2013 at 14:26

    …oh, BTW, just search the blog for ‘no shampoo’. along with comments, more than you can read in about a year.

  20. goldhoarder on October 16, 2013 at 12:43

    Crazy. LOL. Your site is amusing me. I just came here from lew rockwell. I think Karen linked you in their blog. I quit using shampoo a long time ago too. It was before I became paleo even. My dog (lab) had such fine soft hair to pet(far nicer than even other labs I knew). I never used soap on him. He spent a ton of time in the water. If he was muddy I just hosed him off. I have great thick hair that was always impossible to manage and a bit frizzy. I wondered why my dog could go without shampoo and I couldn’t. I did a bit of research and found some anti shampoo articles and decided to give it a try. After a brief period of greasy hair my head learned to manage the flow of oils again and my hair became soft and manageable for the first time in my life! As a 40 plus year old single guy with a full head of blond hair it is definitely a great selling point with the ladies.

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