There is a sharing policy at my son’s preschool. It’s a parent-run co-op, so we have to have policies like this so that we will all handle situations relatively the same way. The policy is that a child can keep a toy as long as they want to. If another child wants the toy, they have to wait until the first child is done with it. We’ll even “save” toys for the child if they have to go to the bathroom, go to the snack table, etc. so that it won’t get taken before they’re done. This applies to anything in the yard or school that can be played with, including swings and monkey bars.
At first, it didn’t really occur to me to wonder why this was the policy. I just went with it, because that’s the rule, and it didn’t seem like a big deal to me. The kids all know the rule, so outside of maybe their first two weeks at the school, they don’t throw a giant fit when you tell them, “You can have it when Sally Jo is done.” But lately I’ve been noticing a totally different attitude toward sharing in other places we go, and I’m starting to really know exactly why this is the school’s policy.
You all remember the bullshit:
“It’s Sally Jo’s ‘turn,’ now.”
“You ‘have’ to share.”
“Don’t be ‘stingy.'”
…Et cetera. Continuing:
I don’t agree with the approach of the mothers in either of these situations. I think it does a child a great disservice to teach him that he can have something that someone else has, simply because he wants it. And I can understand the desire to give your children everything they want; we all have it. But it’s a good lesson for you both to learn that this isn’t always possible, and you shouldn’t step all over other people to get these things.
Furthermore, this is not how things work in the real world. In your child’s adult life, he’s going to think he’s owed everything he sees. This is already happening in the next generation. I read a fascinating article about how today’s teens and 20-somethings are expecting raises and promotions at their jobs for reasons like, “I show up every day.”
If you doubt my reasoning, think about your own day-to-day adult life. You wouldn’t cut in front of someone in the grocery checkout line just because you didn’t feel like waiting. And most grown adults wouldn’t take something from someone, like a phone or a pair of sunglasses, just because they wanted to use it. […]
It’s hard, as with so many things about parenthood, but let’s teach our kids how to cope with disappointment, because it happens. And we won’t always be there to fix it for them. Let’s teach them how they can get things they want through diligence, patience, and hard work.
Well, I got a typical commie collectivist in Facebook comments, Jonah Zelinka:
Whenever a kid doesnt want to share, I calmly explain to my daughter than the other kid is a new-aged cheapskate neo-con addicted to objects instead of the need for friendship and things that actually matter.
My daughter shrugs and goes on sharing her stuff.
If you have to teach your kid sharing is wrong, then do we really want this kind of sick society where we cling to pieces of plastic and oil products that we have to war over just to have?
I bet no one is playing with that sorry-ass kid and it is not his fault, it’s his mother’s.
Plus, it wasn’t his car, it was the playground’s. Teaching kids sharing is more important than driving around some plastic piece of shit with your feet, that is not a skill; sharing is.
Did you see what he did, there, in typical commie fucktard lying fashion?
“If you have to teach your kid sharing is wrong…”
…Alright, let me unpack this for any who still don’t get it. Forced sharing is commie, collectivist bullshit and the root of virtually all social problems the world over. The state forces you to share—not your home, car, clothes, TVs, iPads and beds—but it steals 25-50% of your time via your income/productiveness, and shares it with the cannibals.
See, “sharing” is the primary in this kinda sycodouche, rather than it being the natural outgrowth of good will as social animals.
“What have you done for me lately?”
Sharing is sublime, creative, division-of-labor animal behavior and you see it everywhere animals live in social groups. It’s completely natural and is the principle way that any individual learns to become integrated with a group he or she wishes to belong to.
But it is not a primary, and that’s the critical distinction. It’s simply a form of trade: value for value. Forcing kids to share, for the purpose of teaching them to share is merely socialist, commie indoctrination—that their life’s justification is the granting of the arbitrary claims of others. It’s credo? They want it; or, “From each, according to their abilities; to each, according to their ‘needs.'” They’re born with a life mortgage. Original Sin, I guess.
There’re many levels to this mind disease, too. For example: teach them to not be discriminating: it’s better to share your stuff with the kid you hate, rather than the one you love.
The kids will learn to share on their own. They’re social animals, so they must. Not letting it proceed totally naturally—where a kid doesn’t naturally learn for himself that over-sharing and under-sharing have associated social costs—is just typical total commie-sociailist bullshit, fit for for socialist-commie fucktards.
Tell me in comments what are your favorite ways to share. My top 2:
- Cooking, thereby creating engaging situations for a few people, be they friends or family.
- Writing this blog, 10 years, nearing 4,000 posts and counting (and 85,000 comments).