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I’ve Been So Very Very Very Busy I Only Cook Fish

It’s really been tough.

Iv’e been so very very very busy with things I like to do more than I like to do other things, I’ve gotten to where cooking anything but fish is a real pain in the ass. Forget about Sous Vide, because this is done before you even get the water oven filled with water and brought up to temperature.

Here’s an example from last night, 30 minutes from start to finish—but that’s only because we were really clamoring for stinky pee and the asparagus takes the longest. And also, I had been very very very busy writing a blog post about being very very very busy, then going shopping for scallops, then walking the dogs, trip to the hot tub and the unheated swimming pool, greeting Beatrice when she got home, etc. Then, after eating, we both got very very very busy watching some stuff on the DVR.

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How you do it in about 30 minutes:

  1. Oven to 400
  2. Toss asparagus in good EVOO and salt liberally
  3. Cook on a cookie sheet in the 400 oven for 20 minutes, go 2-5 more if you need
  4. Soon as it’s in, make a tarter sauce quick. Apart from stock, it’s got the juice of a whole mandarine orange, fine ground pepper, lots of dry dill, and a tiny bit of crushed jalapeño.
  5. Soon as that’s done, get two fry pans, add butter and olive oil, bring to medium to melt and heat
  6. Soon as the asparagus comes out, hit one fry pan to high and set your oven to broil (hi) and move a rack to second position from top.
  7. Soon as the oil begins to smoke, toss your salmon in skin side down and season the top liberally with salt & pepper (make sure the other pan doesn’t overheat)
  8. After a minute or so, pop the whole pan under the broiler and set a 4-minute timer
  9. Turn the other fry pan to high and when it starts smoking in a minute, put scallops in an season with salt and pepper (one side only)
  10. After exactly 1 minute, 30 seconds, flip the scallops for exactly another 1 minute, 30 seconds
  11. Take ’em off, get them to the plate immediately, take the salmon out and plate immediately, dress with asparagus and garnish with tartar.

It’s to die for. So simple, very inexpensive, so quick and if you do that asparagus right, you’ll have crispy flowers and sweet stalks. Letting it cool while you finish everything else makes it kinda like a vegetable and salad all in one.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More

7 Comments

  1. TJtheGrouch on February 13, 2015 at 14:36

    Damn! I’ve made this for some time, admittedly adding capers to my tartar sauce, but it has never occurred to me to serve with scallops. If it never dawned to you that you were a genius, you are now nominated! Thanks!

  2. Amy on February 14, 2015 at 07:02

    My favorite way to do asparagus! Thanks for the tip about how to cook salmon and scallops. This goes on next week’s menu. 🙂

  3. clay on February 15, 2015 at 13:55

    About time one of the most burnt excuses ever gets satirized. Or just stated matter of fact. Either way it’s refreshing for somebody to actually say what it is that has them so goddamn busy they can’t get to something.

  4. tylor fitzgibbon on February 15, 2015 at 17:12

    Hey Richard,

    Thought you might find this paper interesting. The title is :
    Commensal Akkermansia muciniphila Exacerbates Gut Inflammation in Salmonella Typhimurium-Infected Gnotobiic mice.

    Makes sense since it is a mucin degrader.

    I think this paper highlights the fact that gut bugs are generally amphibiotic.

    • Richard Nikoley on February 15, 2015 at 19:36

      That’s nothing.

      Obese pregnant women have 200% Akkermansia levels.



  5. justin on March 6, 2015 at 16:41

    THANK YOU Sir. This is the single best Salmon recipe I’ve used for taste, simplicity and value. Bookmarked under ‘staples’.

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