Prayer To Darwin: Deal With The Celiacs, Please

As a Paleo-ish guy, I’ve always had mutual value to exchange with celiac folks. There’s much common ground.

But as sure as the sun rises, “disabled” people will eventually try to pick your pockets:

P.F. Chang’s is Sued for Extra Charges on Gluten-Free Menu Items

See, just like any “disability” that’s significanty apart from the very socialized norm, we must socialize costs for outliers. Way back, see, it was all about socializing income: Social Security. Now, all fucktards believe that because they “invested” in a government Ponzi Scheme—where those who do it privately go to jail for fraud—are entitled to get a paycheck for life—even if they never again produce anything in the general social market.

That werk is done; now, it’s time to pretty up the P&L by focussing on costs for an ultimately more important black-number bottom line for the disabled, crippled, handicapped, retired. The fact of their existence is your mortgage on living your own life and trumps your values—no exceptions. To complain about it is to be tagged.

…Ironically, P.F. Chang’s was my first experience with a gluten free menu section. No good deed goes unpunished. I was just happy to see it, didn’t really notice that perhaps they were charging a premium for special, outlier service. I also understand that when in many restaurants and my wife and I split a plate, we’re taking up a table that could be more profitable, and since they give me double the plate and flatware, a surcharge for that extra, outlier SERVICE is reasonable. We don’t own the place, nor do we pretend that “society” does. …Or, that irrational laws apply, just because: a bunch of fucktards voted in a bunch of fucktards only smart enough to know their own fucktards.

…I’m guessing that in light of this lawsuit, lots of big chain restaurants are going to be signing up to include gluten free menus. The whore-lawyer involved is no surprise. They’re all whores—though some whores are more service oriented than others. The plaintiff has to be either the equivalent of a welfare mom in the projects with six dads for six kids—living on your dime while daddies are in prison or rapping—or, she’s a lilly white stay-home, helicopter mom whose worldview is formed by afternoon talk shows. Or, she’s the wife of the lawyer-whore in the top-left-hand corner of the filing. Or, just typical lottery whore, dime per dozen, who spends far more on lottery tickets or other ridiculous proclivities than the premium she’d pay at PF to serve her interests. Unfortunately, she can’t yet sue people for her random fucktarded proclivities.

Or, maybe I’m wrong and she’s just a fucking quotidien cunt. Lots of them. …Shit, I just had to check to make sure. Yes, as usually 100%, a bitch-with-a-cunt filed the lawsuit, with the whore-lawyer for bitch-cunts (they’re just as numerous).

…Some days, I observe snails and remark at how true to their nature they are. That never happens with humans. I’m absolutely never, ever surprised. No amount of human slime-trail ever surprises me.

I will never, ever champion the Celiac cause, again.

I say that with much confidence; because, I know that the vast majority will not be able to resist paying less than 2-3 bucks at P.F. Chang’s for special service for a whole meal as a result of a lawsuit (you watch: either PF “settles,” or it becomes precedent and everyone falls into line—all the while recognizing that “settle” in this day is euphemism for going from hands up to hands in pockets, while a gun is still pointed). All the whilst, I’ll just observe a 12-car line in the drive-through at a Starbucks and nod about the disproportional human decay and depravity I deal with.

The society that undeservedly calls itself American, now, is so fucked up, the rest of the world ought to be taking away its keys; and yet, the opposite is going on. The entire world’s opium-antagonism now is focussed on these United Fucktarded States; and far, far too many people are giving it a pass. Forget the past. This is not the America of Ellis Island, anymore. you’re far better off finding someplace else.

…It was at least good enough to promote longevity. Now, everyone over some age wants you to pay for their perpetual non-productivity after some age—as though there’s a natural way humans get to fuck off for the rest of their lives at the expense of stranger others. And that sort of cancer is a candy that grows. The idea of retirement that’s not 100% on your own dime or a gift of close loves is completely fucktarded and will always result in Roman-Empire-esque collapse. Or, just retire to Greece: the embarrassing bed of western philosophy, since gang banged like a cheap whore.

…Arguably, in WWII, America was the right and proper geopolitical entity to dispose of the matter, and it did so resoundingly. It’s so fucking historical now that all hubris on this ground is ridiculous—it’s literally no more relevant that when the Romans did cool shit. The people who did that were not at all like any of you, either still alive and indoctrinated, or new and smarter.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. Mark on February 4, 2015 at 15:24

    Sad to see that a private business can not charge a little more for an extra service that they provide. We are becoming a nation of “victims”. Excellent post.

    • Jesrad on February 7, 2015 at 22:43

      Don’t be fooled, this is our “civilization” immune system at work against internal-originating threats. That’s how mainstream society combats what it perceives as auto-immune “disease” threatening the statu-quo. This how it embraces and extends the causes that have premises conflicting with its own.

      Every reason to reject authority in any form will be assimilated as political clientelism, with its duly-appointed priesthood, I mean duly-elected representatives ; and its round-shaped claims will be hammered into the square-shaped hole of class oppression rethoric ; now let’s all pray to Saint Marx and Saint Washington that it “fight” all the way to sanctity = supreme court ruling, or even constitutional amendment status. Hail !

  2. marie on February 4, 2015 at 18:09

    O.k. but Richard, it seems that the law suit is alleging a type of fraud : “…those who eat at P.F. Chang’s are forced to pay higher prices for gluten-free dishes, even if the dishes they order are naturally gluten-free.”

    • gabkad on February 4, 2015 at 18:28

      But, they have to make sure that even the naturally gluten-free products don’t get accidentally contaminated by gluten containing products. Sort of like infection and sterilization control procedures…. I guess.

      In Canada, coeliacs get a tax deduction because their choices of food are more expensive that regular stuff. They keep their receipts, add up the difference and send it in with their tax return.

      Meanwhile, a coeliac can eat for cheaper than a non coeliac if they make a paradigm shift that everything doesn’t have to mimic gluten containing foods. The only thing I eat that is specificially gluten free is pasta. I laughed when I found ‘gluten free bacon’….. as if bacon ever contained gluten in the first place. I don’t have coeliac but regular pasta bloats me and turns me into a fart machine the next morning. I can make it from bedroom to kitchen on fart power alone.

    • Richard Nikoley on February 4, 2015 at 21:02

      Well, I did ‘t really look deeply into the specifics of the allegations for the simple reason that this sort of stuff happens in all sorts of levels and the underlying principles are more important that the specifics of an incident.

      As a point of order, it’s not fraud to charge different people different amounts on any basis or none any owner wants. For example, if a restaurant wants to charge me as a white male more than they charge blacks, Mexicans, lesbians, gays, transsexuals, et al, then I either pay it or go elsewhere.

    • Dr. Curmudgeon Gee on February 4, 2015 at 21:22

      never been to P.F.Chang.

      a lot of traditional Chinese dishes do not contain gluten (i think they use other starch to thicken probably potato or sweet potato or corn starch) so i only need to avoid anything that overtly contain wheat (= bloating = projectile vomiting for me)

      does P.F. Chang charge more for such dishes?
      cause i’m skeptical that all the kitchen staff were trained to avoid such cross contamination. if not, then it’s a fraud.

    • Richard Nikoley on February 4, 2015 at 21:26

      PF is upscale chic, gluten everywhere.

      Still, it would not be fraud unless they sold you gluten free that purposely contained gluten.

    • Anand Srivastava on February 4, 2015 at 22:23

      I think the point is whether the client can sue if he gets some gluten in something that is naturally gluten. If the client can sue because it was claimed gluten free, then the vendor has every right to charge extra.

      So just labeling something gluten free has costs associated with it, even if the food is gluten free. There are costs associated with making sure that it is gluten free, and if by some error or mishap, there will need to be a backup fund.

    • Harriet on February 4, 2015 at 22:30

      At least some of our bacon in Australia has been soaked/prepared with gluten ingredients in the mix, ditto the hams, so food for my granddaughter has to be labelled gluten free. It just isn’t worth the consequences at the moment to take the risk.

    • John on February 5, 2015 at 04:38

      Who cares if they’re charging more for stuff that’s gluten free anyway. If you don’t like someone’s business practices in that regard you go somewhere else. Unless you feel entitled to their food at the price you want to pay – then you sue, apparently.

      And what are the damages? You’ve got to prove damages; $10 extra on the 3 times they ate there? (I haven’t read the complaint.)

      I’ve seen some lawsuits that make me marvel at the lawyers’ abilities to keep a straight face while arguing in court – obligation to zealously defend your client, or shameless play to line your pockets? The judges seem to only call them out in the most egregious of circumstances, otherwise it’s business as usual.

      I was watching a hearing the other day where a victim was seeking punitive damages from the manufacturer, distributor, and retailer of a product someone was using (huffing) when they caused a car accident – the judge indicated displeasure at seeking punitive damages from the multinational retailer but not the person driving the fucking car while unconscious. (“Had you joined that person in the punitive request I might consider not throwing out the request”, basically.)


    • Hegemon on February 5, 2015 at 09:24

      You wouldn’t believe how many meat offerings in the U.S. now contain gluten. The ingredient label on Wal-mart’s ground beef reads, “Beef, Natural Flavors.” It amazes me just how much we can fuck up our food supply.

    • Russell on February 5, 2015 at 12:17

      @Hegemon I’ve seen thin-as-a-rack close friends of mine, come back from the U.S. many pounds heavier and with physically not as good looking, claiming they have eaten the same kinds of foods they eat in Buenos Aires (mostly Mediterranean diet with pasta and white flour) and hadn’t binged on fast food/other U.S. crap they sell as food (they told me they had seen piles of something called “ice-cream pizza” (!) at a regular convenience store).
      When I hear things like that I feel pretty bad for people living in the U.S., I mean why on earth would they add anything at all to ground beef? I see thousands of health blogs and people who battle with simple illnesses for years on end, going as far as to label a single strain of bacteria as the single culprit of everyhing wrong going on with their bodies. Your food supply is fucked up… I’ve never been to Mexico, nor Argentine culture is anything like theirs if we put aside the fact that both countries speak spanish, but since it’s as cheap as it gets I would consider living there for a couple of years to get back to good health.

    • Russell on February 5, 2015 at 12:22

      I meant “and physically not as good looking”; you should make these comment boxes a little bigger Richard, btw I hope you’re doing fine pal.

    • Richard Nikoley on February 5, 2015 at 12:22

      This is a story played all over the world. I’ve been there. Too many places were people look normal, almost too lean, but they prefer they native cuisine.

    • Hegemon on February 5, 2015 at 18:46

      @Russell – I’ve been thinking of relocating for that very reason. It concerns me that every day more crap is slipped into our food.

      I stayed in rural Turkey for a bit 2 years back. Their diet and lifestyle was amazing (my perspective, coming from our fast food, prepackaged society and our independent, do-it-yourself mentality). Mom, dad, brothers/sisters and their respective spouses and children all shared a big house, set up like a small apartment complex. Every house had a garden in the back big enough to support the whole family. Meat came from local goat herders, honey from local beekeepers, etc. Not a grocery store for a hundred miles.

      Breakfast was hardboiled eggs, various olives, yogurt, honey, fruit, and a bit of sausage. Lunch and dinner were your traditional greek/Mediterranean – donner, roast lamb, dolma, soups from garden herbs and plants, etc. Almost zero bread. Coolest part was tea breaks. The entire society stopped everything every couple hours for them. So completely laid back.

      Everyone was skinny as a rail but ate well, plenty of food to go around. The only fatties I ever saw were the old women who stayed in the kitchen all day.

      I’d have already relocated, but unfortunately it is not terribly stable politically. It was peaceful when I was there, but the Kurds and Turks have been fighting off and on forever. The guy I stayed with was proud to be one of the kurdish rebels and had automatic weapons in his closet. Not really my dream environment to raise a kid.

    • Dr. Curmudgeon Gee on February 6, 2015 at 20:40

      ok. i agree that if surcharging naturally gluten free dishes, it’s not a fraud. it’s a rip off.

      i disagree merely labeling such item as “gluten free” should cost extra.

      most menu list the main ingredients of a dish & how it’s done. some even have icons to identify for those who have dietary needs (“spicy hot”, “veg*g”, “dairy free”, “low fat”, LOL). cost of such should be folded in the general overhead of running a business.


  3. tw on February 5, 2015 at 07:47

    I have found many “gluten free” products, or wheat replacements to be awful tasting and frankly I feel worse eating them than I ever did eating wheat. No I am not celiac.

    Paying extra for crappy product seems ridiculous but it’s a personal choice.

  4. Hegemon on February 5, 2015 at 09:17

    I’ve gotten used to paying more for gluten free food. The premium is worth me not getting sick. The only time I get upset is when a place tells me it’s gluten free and I wind up with death squirts for the rest of the day. That’s a case of advertising. Either get your crap together or don’t label it gluten free.

    The whole labeling scheme in the U.S. is becoming retarded. A product can be labeled “naturally gluten free”, but then get cross contaminated in packaging or preparation. Hello – that’s not gluten free anymore. Common sense has gone out the window. If regulators and companies can’t get their shit together on this, I think that’s a case where a lawsuit could be beneficial to the public.

    Dovetailing that with Richard’s point – businesses can charge a premium for a special product if they see fit – that’s called capitalism. You as the shopper have the right to not buy it if you don’t want to pay the premium.

  5. Fit Journal on February 5, 2015 at 16:45

    Having been Celiac since long before it was cool, it is nice to occasionally find an entree that I don’t have to wonder about while dining out. That said, I expect it to cost more in a restaurant just like I expect it to cost more to buy brown rice pasta at Whole Foods.

    I don’t do victim thinking. Like my sweet pastor’s wife told me nearly a decade ago….”Honey, you’re just going to have to get a rice cracker and go on.”

  6. Energy! on February 6, 2015 at 04:40

    I noticed recently that there was a Boar’s Head pamphlet at the deli counter saying that all their products were gluten-free. It never occurred to me that gluten would be in them at all, but now I’ll be more wary in general. Fortunately we’re not celiacs, just sensitive to gluten. I suspect as more people avoid gluten many food processors will stop adding it as a filler or for “mouthfeel’ or whatever it’s for.

    We had a hard time getting food at P.F. Changs recently because evidentally they toss flour in everything. Not planning to go there again. To thicken sauces at home, I use white rice flour.

  7. Wenchypoo on February 7, 2015 at 10:10

    Your article outlines exactly why I, as a Celiac, prefer to eat at home. For me, home is the safest place to eat.

  8. Dawn Hall on February 7, 2015 at 17:05

    Richard you are engaging in gross general characterizations of celiacs. Stop that bad behavior and laziness right now. Shame on you Richard. I endure your vulgar language and rants because generally you are genuine and clever in a mix of irritating and grandiose. Celiacs are not f*cktards, we are only a reflection of the entire population plus an extra dose of pain and suffering. People at large complain, whine and litigate over silly things. Haven’t you ever purchased a vehicle or real property? Disclosures galore from silly litigation. As a celiac I do not lay claim to this tribe litigating silliness and you would do well to limit your disparaging comments to f*cktards and not Celiacs. We suffer greatly and need your support of our cause and our plight, leave us out of your rants over f*cktards, we do not lay claim to this behavior as a group. Now just stop it!

    • Richard Nikoley on February 7, 2015 at 22:43

      Dawn dear:

      I think my style perhaps went over your head a bit for this post. How about give it another read in the knowledge that Richard doesn’t mean what you assume he means, and I’m sure the underlying will come to you.

  9. Karen on February 9, 2015 at 15:40

    The Elitism of Disability. Don’t get me started. A bunch of my dog friends are all butt hurt about people pretending their dogs are “service” dogs and taking advantage of the privileges granted to those with Disabilities by the ADA. I told them why don’t they figure out a way that one group is not favored over another because that just encourages those who are being penalized to figure out ways around it. How about working for a win-win solution instead of more punishment for the rule breakers. I could hear the whooshing sound going over their heads.

    • Richard Nikoley on February 9, 2015 at 19:50

      Yea, but Karen, you gotta admit that it would be hilarious if like 80% of people had handicap stickers and they made a law so that 80% of all parking spots were handicap spots.

      That is America, now. That’s what a global laghing stock it is.

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