Wherein, I Loudly And Publicly School A Herbivore Vegan at Supermarket

I had to go to the market on the way from my brother’s house, to where they were camping 30 minutes away, alongside the American River (yes, I went swimming…water is a wonderful 60).

Dawn forgot the Ceasar croutons, and unforgivably, the anchovies. I got the Italian imported ones for three times the price. Side note: Italians and French eat anchovies all the time. They are salty, not unworkably so, as is the case you typically get here.

Anyway, camping dinner was a success.


…I had two items for the young, attractive checkout girl. She chatted me up. “Ceasar salad?”


“I don’t like salad,” she says. “Don’t like the texture.”

“So, you’re one of those carnivorous types,” I enjoin; adding, “maybe you see the food chain, and animals eat the salad and you eat them…?”

Herbivore vegan  butts in, but with perceived, cathartic “moral” licence, since he’s an entitled FUCKTARD:

“How humanitarian of you.”

I spun my head in a microsecond and turned volume to high:

“That’s exactly right. I’m a human-itarian,” purposefully putting emphaaaaasis on the wrong sylaaaaable.

“I am not an animal-itarian. Do you understand the difference?”

He immediately scurried off, wishing me a nice day. I looked around the public space. Saw lots of smiles.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. pzo on July 4, 2016 at 08:09

    Thanks for doing that! (Not that I would expect differently.)

    I don’t really care if people want to live eating like cows, but the moral certainty and superiority needs to be taken down at every opportunity.

    The comment of the cashier about the texture of salads not being to her liking is rampant these days with a wide variety of foods. “I don’t like the flavor,” “it makes me gag,” etc. etc. Thinking liver, MCT or coconut oil, cruciferous crops, etc.

    Grow up, precious snowflakes. You would have LOVED all those foods 20,000 years ago,

    • Richard Nikoley on July 4, 2016 at 09:01

      True, but it is refreshing out in the parts I live and visit now, away from cities, etc., that you encounter people who tend to speak their actual mind, not what they think everyone wants to hear in the “role they play.”

    • Evan Eberhardt on July 4, 2016 at 13:15

      It begins in youth. My wife hates fish and anything with a texture not to her liking (like chicken feet). Her mother, a native Croatian who grew up very modestly (a nice way of saying dirt poor in a remote village) likes virtually everything, including any part of an animal. Eyes, ears, feet, brains, snout, liver, etc. “How did you come to like all these animal parts?” I asked her on one occasion. “We ate those things or went hungry.” Talk about perspective.

  2. Jennifer Wilson on July 4, 2016 at 09:49

    He wished you a nice day and avoided confrontation. His “humanitarian” comment was not needed, to be sure. But would you have not jumped in if the tables were turned? I can’t see you holding your piece in such a situation. And are you surprised that you were met with smiles from your “team”? Vegans are such a small minority.

    You seem to recognize most of the goings on of the powers that be, but do you not see how this “us” versus “them” mentality is so essential to keeping us oppressed? Vegan vs. paleo, trans vs. cis, democrat vs. republican, and on and on and on. As long as we’re pointing fingers at each other we’re not focusing on the real problems of this world. There will never be a definitive answer to whether an omnivorous or plant based diet is healthier, but there will always be science to support either side so we can go on hating and feeling better about one another.

    I think a real “win” in this situation would have been to diffuse the situation. Making people feel stupid or wrong only works on reality TV.

    • Richard Nikoley on July 4, 2016 at 09:56

      “But would you have not jumped in if the tables were turned?”

      Absolutely not. Mom taught me to mind my own business and I always do, without exception. The only time I ever interject into a stranger’s affairs in public is if I have something nice to say.

      It might surprise you and others that I do that with frequency, out and about.

  3. Woodchuck Pirate on July 4, 2016 at 12:00

    I’ve never met a vegan that was not a statist. Of course I’m aptly characterized as a hermit waiting to happen.

    One can hardly call the gov’t farm racket here in the USA anything but monopolistic. The herd (animal and human) is corn fed pumped full of steroids to avoid stomach ulcers. The farm bill subsidizes the gov’t farm racket effectively driving out any local farmer market competition. How are vegans not culpable for this? Statist vegans vote to spend someone else’s money to fund gov’t farms. Is it any surprise that their efforts guarantee that no grass fed beef makes it to local markets, due to their destruction of small farmer estates? Humanitarian/animalitarian, oh I get it now, those voting-vegans construct clear paradigms of humans as tax farm livestock. No wonder they strut their stuff amidst the unwashed ignorant masses. How delightful it must be to see them encounter an anarchist lying in wait.

    I am surrounded by empty pastures where grass fed beef used to graze. My neighbor has 100 acres of hay that he gives away free to anyone that will cut it and haul it away. The one farm that does implement intensive rotational grazing doesn’t sell any of it locally. It probably gets shipped to China, in exchange for some crap plastic trinkets or shiny bobbles. The farm report is a curious spectacle performed by a bunch of chuckleheads pitching Bayer and Monsanto chemicals and commodity options trading strategies, collectively praying and cheerleading for higher prices. Who owns gov’t? Certainly not the livestock.

    Funny how the statists voting gov’t intervention to push soybean consumption around the world has no volition to confront their destruction(s) despite superior egotistical paradigms of humanitarianism. I hope their carrageenan rich diet wakes them up every night of their golden years. I do not wish to shelter them from their long overdue respect. As always with “us and them” statists, what you take will be paid for. The sooner the better.

    Woodchuck Pirate
    aka Raymond J Raupers Jr USA

    • May on July 4, 2016 at 13:09

      Never heard of vegan anarchists?

  4. Woodchuck Pirate on July 4, 2016 at 15:03


    I’ve heard Dave Dictor from the band MDC sing about anarchy but his silence on Mr Nobel Peace Bombs Obama reveals his behavior as anarcho-socialist at best. I still enjoy this song though:

  5. Michael44 on July 5, 2016 at 00:05

    “…but do you not see how this “us” versus “them” mentality is so essential to keeping us oppressed? Vegan vs. paleo, trans vs. cis, democrat vs. republican, and on and on and on. As long as we’re pointing fingers at each other we’re not focusing on the real problems of this world.”

    Jennifer, I’ve interacted with some militant vegans over the last couple of years and it is “them” that want the division. They push and push and push their agenda and then get their heckles up if anyone dares to disagree with them.

    “…but there will always be science to support either side…”

    There is substantial evidence supporting one side Jennifer and little if any supporting the other side. That is just the way it is, but some militant vegans don’t mind fudging the facts if it means they can capture more believers.

    • pzo on July 5, 2016 at 10:27

      They don’t just fudge science, they make it up. And then having found “proof,” the nattering nabobs disseminate falsehoods as science. A couple of examples:

      1. You get all the Vitamin B12 you need because it’s made in your colon. That’s true, as far as it goes. However, your colon can’t absorb it, it has to be found in the small intestine.

      2. You get all the B12 you need if you eat organic root crops with the dirt on.

      Of course, there are all the “proofs” about not having the right dentition, lack of claws, etc.

      One of the weirdest I ever came across was a woman with PhD (in what? Bullshit?) after her name. She claimed that the plains Indians were hunters only during a few hundred years after they got horses and guns. Beside the fact that they needed neither by the use of buffalo jumps or very brave archers getting close enough, she overlooks the (inconvenient) fact that there is no way to get enough calories from the berries in the northern plains in a short growing season. And I guess they wove their teepee’s from berry stems.

      The vegans, especially of the raw category, are among the least informed, least able to think critically individuals that I’ve ever run across.

  6. Michael44 on July 6, 2016 at 01:41

    Yes pzo, fudging it is only the beginning as far as some of them are concerned.

    And yes, that “PhD” would have to have evidence of the Lakota Sioux having previously been making teepees out of grass I suppose. What are the odds that she actually has valid evidence for that??? Just above zero I bet.


    I don’t want to give you the impression that I dislike all vegans.

    I had a lovely vegan woman on a forum I was on admonish another vegan for their vitriolic diatribe against meat-eaters. There was another on the same forum who thought that veganism was the way to go but was gracious enough to half-jokingly say that they might change their mind if they found themselves hungry and living in the wilds up north toward the Arctic, and asked, “Who am I to judge another individual or group or culture who may find themselves in that situation?”

    It’s the militant’s that are the issue Jennifer. If I was a vegan I’d be embarrassed by much of their behaviour.

  7. Christopher on July 8, 2016 at 08:04

    I am AMAZED that vegans somehow believe that the universe is a “compassion” machine. When you try to explain that every viewable part of the universe shows that one part consumes another with no sense of mercy at all, from black holes “devouring” stars to lions devouring antelope to apes devouring other apes, ad infinitum they then argue that we, humans, with our “higher” intellect are supposed to be better than that… somehow? Do they realize that almost ALL death that takes place on our planet is both terrifying and painful and I have no intention of trying to fix that universal flaw. (I’m fine with working toward a better environment for farm animals and having, in place of factory farms, a family farm with compassionate treatment of amimals… with one bad day.) Then it is time to have a discussion about Stephen Jay Gould and his view of evolution and the brain.

    • Richard Nikoley on July 8, 2016 at 11:23

      “vegans somehow believe”

      Whew! Good thing you didn’t write “think,” otherwise I’d have been compelled to go off. 🙂

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