scratch-mark

Introducing Keto Clarity Academy with Jimmy Moore and Melanie Miller

You can’t even make this stuff up.

Now, Jimmy Moore has yet a new Ketoshyster gig, the Keto Clarity Academy.

Screen Shot 2017-08-11 at 5.49.02 PM

And here’s that video. His talk begins at about 22:30.

I could only stomach a couple of minutes but someone else got all the way to the 34-minute mark, where Moore says:

Cause you can see I still have some weight on my body, and that’s cool, because my health markers are probably better than 99% of you in this room, I promise you.

The listener adds that you can also hear people in the background saying things like “probably,” etc. I imagine they’re nodding their heads in sycophantic approval, too.

Jesus. No, it’s not cool if you are taking people’s money to offer diet and weight loss advice. Not “cool” at all and I can think of several words to far more accurately describe exactly what it is that’s not “cool.”

Plus, it’s an outright lie. When was it, May, 2015, where he had out-of-range stuff all over the place? Couldn’t find the post quickly. Perhaps he’s taken it down.

Anyway, you go look at the Keto Clarity Academy website, con-sisting of three info pages and a contact page, and they all use stock photos, no photos of the two principals. Well, I’ll not pick on Melanie Miller, yet, but there, I fixed it.

Screen Shot 2017-08-11 at 6.11.37 PM

I mean it. You can’t make this stuff up. The Onion has been scooped yet again.



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Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More

16 Comments

  1. Charles on August 11, 2017 at 19:10

    Potpourri Of Health Tests On Jimmy Moore In May 2015

    The LLVLC Show (Episode 961): Christopher Kelly Analyzes Jimmy’s Latest Functional Health Tests

    “Everybody thinks they have high cortisol. But I can count on one hand the number of people with elevated cortisol levels.” — Christopher Kelly

    The LLVLC Show (Episode 1002): Christopher Kelly Is Back For An Update On His Work With Jimmy Moore

    http://www.nourishbalancethrive.com/blog/2014/08/04/jimmy-moore-interview-transcript/
    Jimmy Moore interview transcript
    Written by Christopher Kelly
    Aug. 4, 2014

    http://www.nourishbalancethrive.com/podcasts/nourish-balance-thrive/diet-consultation-jimmy-moore/
    Diet Consultation with Jimmy Moore

    Clay Higgins • 2 years ago
    Can you publish Jimmy’s Cronometer data to see what that looks like?

    Christopher Kelly Mod Clay Higgins • 2 years ago
    Here you go
    https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B_U5jaR7t4XnT3Q1SzRfczVrdms

    http://www.nourishbalancethrive.com/blog/2014/02/27/christopher-kelly-bsc/
    Christopher Kelly
    Hailing from England, I graduated in 2000 with a first-class degree in Computer Science from Southampton University. From there I went on work for Yahoo! in London, and in 2003 they were kind enough to offer me the opportunity to move to San Francisco. I now work as a software engineer for a quantitative hedge fund.

    I’ve always loved riding, but once resident in sunny California I quickly found myself spending more and more time on the bike. Initially I enjoyed a significant improvement in fitness, but as time went by my health began to deteriorate. I became extremely competitive and very sick, and I know now that root cause of much my decline was diet.

    I solved my health problems and rose through the ranks of amateur mountain biking, and last year the international governing body of cycling granted me a Pro license. I achieved this using my engineering smarts; all the information is out there, all that was required was a careful analysis of the complex arrangement of moving parts.

    Now in 2014, through management of diet, rest, exercise, stress reduction and supplementation I have achieved a new optimal level of health and fitness. I look forward to helping you find yours too.

    Both my wife Julie and me are graduates of the Kalish Institute and early in 2014 I qualified as a Certified FDN Practitioner.

    Email me: chris@nourishbalancethrive.com

    https://www.facebook.com/livinlowcarbman/posts/10153409694556320
    5-20-15 UPDATE with Full Iron Panel, Full Thyroid Panel, and hs-CRP: Potpourri Of Health Tests On Jimmy Moore In May 2015

    http://bjjcaveman.com/2015/05/26/thoughts-on-jimmy-moores-summer-2015-health-test-results/
    Thoughts on Jimmy Moore’s Summer 2015 Health Test Results

    • Richard Nikoley on August 11, 2017 at 19:33

      Thanks for all the rabbit holes, Charles. You’re clearly a better cataloguer than I.

      Dropbox?

  2. John on August 11, 2017 at 20:27

    I skipped around, but….. is there a single person in that video in worse shape than Jimmy? I didn’t see one.

    This is far worse than the blind leading the blind. This is someone actively stabbing out his eyes claiming he can finally see.

    I don’t even know what to think. On the one hand, I want to see Jimmy bankrupt, cause he is such an obvious fraud at this point. On the other hand, it’s clear the emperor has NO CLOTHES. So, anyone who supports him is obviously throwing their money away. It’s like the world’s greatest practical joke. If he came out and did a speech like “How stupid can you people be?” I would be the first to applaud. Cause he ain’t hiding anything.

    No one is forced to support him. So he ain’t really an emperor. Just a naked fat dude (but a really fat dude, not some guy who gained twenty pounds when he had a biking injury, and is committed to getting back in shape now that everything has healed) telling you he knows EVERYTHING about weight loss.

    You know what? Fuck off, Jimmy. Julia Child held a pretty trim figure into her 70’s, and she was a freaking CHEF. I’ll listen to a chef or line cook over a “weight loss guru” any freaking day of the week.

  3. Duncan on August 12, 2017 at 00:12

    On the entrance to this fine academy, you will find its engraved motto: Salutem corporis et mentis (Health of body and mind).

  4. Sassysquatch on August 12, 2017 at 06:55

    Holy shit, Jimmy’s total cholesterol was 484 in May of 2015…..Yikes, you think you might have a problem?? Even though his keto ‘diet’ might work for dropping some weight…..that doesn’t mean it’s ‘healthy’. You can also lose weight on 1200 calories of twinkies a day. Think what you want about Dr McDougall, but he was one of the first to call out Jimmy’s fat ass….right in the middle of his podcast.

    • Bret on August 13, 2017 at 22:01

      I used to think that interview showed what an fucking asshole McDougall was. And maybe it does.

      But it also shows what a slow-witted moron Jimmy Moore was. Didn’t even have retorts ready for the predictable asshole that McD was.

      Jimmy’s dumb. It’s a big player in his terrible dietary advice. He’s not evil, and he’s not consciously lying. He’s just stupid.

  5. Charles on August 12, 2017 at 08:32

    This is pure GOLD!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ369L24u0o
    immy Moore and Eric Westman at Quail Ridge Books – Part II
    Published on Jul 22, 2015

    At his “healthy” peak

  6. Nocona on August 12, 2017 at 10:08

    I’d like to slap that D..K upside the head. Just look at all those happy, smiling, healthy and skinny people in the brochure compared to the ones in the video. PT Barnum was correct. You can’t fix stupid.

  7. VW on August 12, 2017 at 13:25

    Jesus Christ, he’s fucking fat. Much fatter than I’d imagined. What’s that waist size, Jimbo? 52″?

    Yep, there’s my guru!

  8. VW on August 12, 2017 at 13:32

    Skipping around and such….. he addresses resistant starch at around the 49:45 mark.

    • captain_starch on August 14, 2017 at 15:07

      It’s the resistant starch that made him fat, you see. That and eating more than half a sweet potato. You’ve got to give him some credit though, it can’t be easy to find a belt strong enough to hold that gut up.

  9. Lis on August 23, 2017 at 16:34

    I was always astounded at his wife’s weight gain. He used to talk about how slim she was when they first met and got married. How he hated that she could eat whatever she wanted and stayed slim. What changed? Him feeding her? Her being a guinea pig for his different diets. There was some video of her eating eggs and an entire stick of butter on the side of the plate that she was eating as well. An entire stick! Who needs or wants that?

    I truly think Jimmy’s problem is he is that he is gay. I am not mocking him. I really believe he is. This makes a difference because of his Christian “values”. I believe he eats his feelings. I believe he hates himself for his feelings. I believe that he for sure goes out on errands and goes through a couple of drive-thru’, eats in his car and cries.

    • Bret on August 24, 2017 at 01:21

      Lis, your comment had me laughing my ass off. Well played.

    • Eve on December 26, 2017 at 06:50

      I think you are spot on.

  10. Natasha on August 26, 2017 at 18:45

    That’s insane. He’s huge and he is mocking low fat diets?

  11. […] starts an utterly ridiculous and laughable “Keto Clarity Academy” with a bunch of fat laddies as obesity instructors and coaches, and now, a few months later, […]

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