Becoming The Ideal Man

Posted to the Facebook group linked below, today.

I had been paying more attention to the “men’s movement” (I’m using the term loosely, to encompass all) recently and then Anthony Johnson elevated me to moderator status of the Becoming The Ideal Man Group on FB. A worthy cause.

So I’ve paid more attention.

As an outsider—in spite of three speaking gigs at 21C conferences—a bird’s eye view type—I’d like to offer some impressions that may mesh with how someone from the average guy pool might be introduced t you all.


  • Feminism is cancer; the hubris and entitlement are beyond the pale; the ignorance, Dunning-Kruger and Solipsism is astounding, etc.
  • Men should not be owned or pwned; men should not easily cave to female survival and selection strategy.
  • Men should get their shit together, head out of ass, project fortitude, etc.
  • Women are being harmed because they are not being fulfilled in their biological and social needs.


I’m not seeing so much manly idealism here, sad to say. I’m mostly seeing tips on game, to fuck low-status females. Sure, the good stuff is essential but that just makes you NOT a doormat.

What then?

Being a non-doormat, but then focussing on fucking low-status females is not Becoming The Ideal Man.

007 would laf at some of you basement-dwelling, bed-wetting wankers.

What I see a lot in the group is participation in Victim Olympics.

Men are not victims. They have ceded leadership on a massive scale, under fear of being outcast or rejected by a female, or all of the stupid ones. The path forward is not to whine about being victimized by a pussified, feminist culture, but to regain masculine leadership and just take back the reigns of power, by absolute force. And we can’t dance around that. It will take absolute force, or society remains feminized, victimized, puyssified.

We’ll be caught in a never ending hypergamy loop, which on a societal scale is only about female selection strategy.

Beyond Victim Olympics I see much hubris, resentment, and plain kid delusion. Instead of “I’m not going to be pushed around,” it’s “I’m not going to be a traditional gentleman and pick up the tab on a first date.”

Way to impress her, male.

It’s like in response to a realization that lots of women have been cunty for a long time, the solution is to be a man-cunt…a basic asshole…because it can work, just as it can work for women. It’s “Red Pill,” essentially employing female strategy “against” them, which is really just aligning with them. This gives her the win.

I believe this stems from two motivations.

1. Play a numbers game, which is just euphemism for getting as much low-status pussy for the honor badge.

2. Laziness. Why put in the effort to woo a high status female as a life partner if you get young, low status pussy anyway? And you don’t have to pick up the tab on a date, like SUCH AN IDEAL MAN!!!

…Western civilization has bred a kind of male that traditionally delights in the effort to pursue a good woman as a GENTLE MAN. He keeps his space clean and organized, irons his clothes, and polishes his shoes. It’s the Military ethic writ large—to mate selection and the “kill.” I’m not seeing much admonition to re-develop and re-emphasize these cultural traits.

007 wept.

What I see is stuff like “what cologne should I buy,” and “how do I date a lot and never have to pick up the tab?” This is female hypergamy adopted by males trying to pretend to be ideal men that a high-quality woman might select.

But it’s really only about scoring low-status pussy.

I see female-like, cunty and entitled hubris over the idea that an ideal man should endeavor to woo his exclusive pick into a genuine trust on her part; that she cannot escape the reality that she is very special to HIM and he fucking means it.

She has lots of choices, always. What can make the “kill”—always with the ubiquitous risk of ultimate and forever rejection—is that she becomes your very own true believer, wanting to believe in you for life. It’s what high-status and high-quality conservative women want.

You will have to get off of the pursuit of gaming low-status pussy and go for the “kill”of the chaste, conservative female who will settle for no less than absolute commitment if she is to invest her life in making children for you.

But more commonly around here, I see attitudes that “she’s just a basic whore,” and so you treat her accordingly. So what is it? Is she a basic whore? If so, why aren’t you directing your efforts to high-quality women instead? Afraid of the commitment and shouldering of manly responsibility a true high-quality woman will rightfully demand?

This goes to the motivation of quantity of young pussy over the quality of a good, attractive woman overall. A high status, high quality women: in brains, conservatism, a bod and sexual attitude that gets your cock hard, and a basic sweetheart with a see through smile.

How many of you guys would give a second look or thought to a woman who “won’t put out?”

How many would think, “maybe there’s some real quality virtue, there?” Would you even consider it? Would you consider a high-status 20-something who requires a solid commitment from you before she lets you into her bed or visits yours?

Too risky? Well, we get to see right in front of our eyes that what being afraid of shouldering responsibility has wrought. Those in pursuit of Ideal Manhood should be chagrined to realize they are part of the problem—endeavoring to get a free ride on as many low-status female pussies as possible.

“Too risky” to get a good young 20-something with a conservative mother and father, and get a hand off from dad in your late 20s, after you’ve made something of yourself and can protect and provide for a family of the babies she’s made for you? Ideal manhood?

Lastly, I sense a disdain—or derision, at times—towards men who seek a traditional family.

I see this often from older guys, like me, who are beyond that “start a family” timeframe with a quality woman. So they specialize in no-commitment relationships, separate finances, etc. And it’s OK for them, so they preach it to the young 20-somethings as a great lifestyle.

I’ve even seen derision towards young 30-something males who find a female with a kid fathered by an asshole, who mans up to the challenge, shouldering responsibility, sensing the chick is older, wiser, and she yearns for a male provider. A serious man.

Nope: “He’s stewarding another man’s genes.” This is not an enlightened, gentlemanly view.

How many dudes have come back from war and become the fathers of their dead buddy’s orphaned children?

That’s manly. That’s shouldering responsibility in a web of love, trust, emotion, and commitment.

Now, go get yourselves off to the local Macy’s. They have great deals on scents for “men.” It’s right next to the section where gay males are acting like girls, for girls. Go fit right in.

Or, just go buy a plain bottle of Old Spice or Bay Rum. Or, don’t even doll up your male scent at all.

And, how about this? Shouldering this sort of responsibility is easy for him. He’s not a little male-boy whose pussy hurts.

Elixa Probiotic is a British biotech manufacturer in Oxford, UK. U.S. Demand is now so high they’ve established distribution centers in Illinois, Nevada, and New Jersey.

Still, sell-outs happen regularly, so order now to avoid a waiting list.

Richard Nikoley

I'm Richard Nikoley. Free The Animal began in 2003 and as of 2021, contains 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from health, diet, and food to travel and lifestyle; to politics, social antagonism, expat-living location and time independent—while you sleep—income. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. Read More


  1. Catherine H. on January 28, 2019 at 19:26

    Well said, sir. I am proud to say my husband is such a man. I have given him six kids so far, and I am his for life.

  2. wallycat on January 30, 2019 at 10:20

    Did not realize that using up resources of the planet defined manhood. I hope these “men” who don’t wish to pay women equally will offer to support them when they are no longer “useful and young.” Manhood…wow…now I know.

    • Richard Nikoley on January 31, 2019 at 10:42

      “using up resources of the planet”

      Here we go with another question begging fallacy.

      A typically female, “bite the hand that feeds it the cake she wants to eat too” fallacy.

      It’s that stupid.


  3. Lex on January 31, 2019 at 08:35

    Taking care of an orphaned child of a friend is very different than choosing a loose woman that’s had children.

    I agree with the, don’t mess up a good girl, statement.

    Single moms can never, ever be good girls. A widow is a different story. A divorced woman, maybe…

    If you want womens behavior to change we must not reward bad behavior. And we must repeal the 19th amendment.

    Good God man, you’re conflating things.

    • Richard Nikoley on January 31, 2019 at 10:22

      “Taking care of an orphaned child of a friend is very different than choosing a loose woman that’s had children.”

      Question begging fallacy.

      So, unfortunately, you’re dismissed.

    • Dan on January 31, 2019 at 15:52

      Yeah there is context. An 18yr old kid having a child with another 18 yr old kid for example, not automatically a “loose” woman. What a world it would be if we so critically judged people on their oops moments and nothing else.
      That’s the sort of shit the Left does.

  4. heyzeus on February 1, 2019 at 21:16

    Speaking of ideal men, Arthur Devany’s anti-aging quest seems to be progressing well. He looks about 30 years younger on his latest website photo:

  5. heyzeus on February 6, 2019 at 00:48

    Has anyone got a chart of female participation in the workforce plotted against obesity rates? I would think higher participation in the workforce means less home cooked meals available and higher quantities of processed meals which are high in salt, sugar and fat.

    As a child I remember food outside of what was put on the dinner table was hard to come by.

    • Christian on February 7, 2019 at 01:08

      More paternal time at work and less at home means fatter kids according to this study:

      Less time with your children and caring for them means lower quality outcomes for children. Mothers should be mothers IMHO. Children need them. The feminists have got what they wanted at the expense of their children.

  6. Jennifer on February 8, 2019 at 21:50

    I’m so over our society. My cousin was telling me recently about how she put chains on her car all by herself, and how proud she was because all the men in the car were clueless and scared to help. Make men AND women great again.

  7. Ahha on February 8, 2019 at 22:52

    Teenagers are choosing to vaccinate themselves without their anti-vax parent’s consent:

    Maybe stupidity isn’t genetic?

  8. freedom on February 23, 2019 at 16:16

    The science is in and it’s pretty convincing: Republican women are prettier than Democrat women –

    Women who want to be men are just acknowledging their failure to be women. No woman who is good at being a woman wants the role of a man.

    • Richard Nikoley on February 23, 2019 at 16:57

      Just today, I posted this to Facebook:

      Nice riff by Anthony Barbetto in comments on another thread:


      Now you’re catching on. The original cause of Feminism has been lost over the past 2 generations. Feminism was never about being anti-male. The Feminists were made up of unattractive women furious at the advantages attractive women got in life. They wanted the same privilege and special treatment that the beautiful women got. Understandable. I wish I were more like Brad Pitt and less like Mojo the Helper Monkey, too.

      This is why “feminism” is so confused right now. Sure, there are outliers, but overall women do not want to be men. They don’t want the responsibility of manhood. Women generally don’t want to fight in wars, drill for oil, work in coal mines, run into burning buildings, pursue armed criminals, pave roads and build bridges and buildings. The overwhelming majority of women who want to work just want to outsource motherhood for a paycheck – they want to work in education, medicine, child care, hospitality and administration. Those sectors of the economy almost singlehandedly employ women. And that’s fine.

      This identity crisis of feminism being anti-male is causing so much confusion and misery to themselves. It has lost the original intent and is turning out a generation of women who have no skills but want the power of being male with the privilege of being female with the responsibility of none. Things worked better when it was simply unattractive women demanding special treatment.

  9. Don on February 24, 2019 at 08:23

    Just found your blog… and find it to be fascinating! And I guess I qualify as a man, lol. I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 20; I’m now 55. We have 11 children together. I have never cheated on her; our sex life is terrific! When you meet a real woman you see just how far removed from sanity the feminist ideal of womanhood is. And to the poster who would say I’m using up the planet’s resources—She had two miscarriages or we would have had 13 children! I fight for my share of resources— how do you get yours?

  10. Don on February 24, 2019 at 08:44

    Are your comments moderated and on a time delay? Mine disappeared. You can delete this comment if my original shows up.

    • Richard Nikoley on February 25, 2019 at 08:33


      Only first comment moderation, then once I put it through, whitelist and automatic from then on. it’s weed out trolls.

    • Don on February 26, 2019 at 18:09

      Thanks Richard. No replying to you directly?

      • Richard Nikoley on February 27, 2019 at 10:12

        Looks like you just did. 😉

    • Don on February 27, 2019 at 19:46

      Haha, ok I got it now. Am I at my limit for stupid questions yet? Seriously, love the blog; future comments will be more on topic.

  11. Mainer on March 8, 2019 at 18:39

    Highly recommend the following book if you haven’t read it yet. We are being targeted and our manhood is at stake. We have been fed a lifetime of lies. Time to wake up and see things as they truly are. God help us all.

    The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.

  12. Paul Kemp on March 13, 2019 at 13:53

    Preaching to the choir?

    • Richard Nikoley on March 13, 2019 at 16:32

      First, I don’t give a shit about lazy people.

      That’s about all.

      (I hate fucking lazy ass commenters. Write and be explicit or just go fuck off, because nobody here gives a shit about your sentence.)

  13. terry on March 20, 2019 at 13:57

    Once a thriving source of actionable information and discourse, this place is now stone-cold-dead!!

    • Richard Nikoley on March 21, 2019 at 13:26

      I hear ya, man.

      I have no excuses but will be posting an “update” of sorts soon. Perhaps in video during my drive down to SoCal on Saturday or Sunday to pick up the doggies and bring them back for a month visit.

  14. retrial on March 21, 2019 at 08:28

    Whereabouts is the new post that was put up about a week ago? I came back to read it and it’s gone!

    • Richard Nikoley on March 21, 2019 at 13:27

      Damn, not sure what you’re referring to.

  15. Andy on March 21, 2019 at 22:06

    Must say I miss reading your views on a more regular basis than what we’ve had lately. Even when I don’t agree with you 100% I am always interested in your opinions and the reasons you give. It often makes me question my own opinions, which I think is a good thing. So sharpen that quill and fire away.

  16. Benjamin Wiles on March 22, 2019 at 11:11

    What stuns me is that the “men’s rights” movement is primarily made up of republican leaning men who generally can be relied upon to extol the virtues of the free market. Not getting enough customers or want better a quality customer? Build a better product.

    My understanding of feminism is that it promotes self determination among women, another republican virtue. Take away whatever “traditional family values” you may want to ascribe to the topic, but I don’t see anything wrong with women providing for themselves. I personally feel it frees me to pursue things in life beyond putting food on the table and it allows me to not wrap up my whole identity on what I do for a living. I welcome having women share in responsibility to provide for the family.

    I’m not sure what the point of posting pictures comparing republican vs democrat women. It really degrades what I though was a thoughtful post. I guess my only reply would be that it just shows that republicans will only listen to women when they look good, while democrats go on merit.

  17. Ripken on April 1, 2019 at 18:14

    Still alive?

  18. Zucker on April 3, 2019 at 10:47

    Banned again! Tell us what happened if you have the time.

  19. Fanny on April 7, 2019 at 12:20

    It’s so simple, it’s laughable. The game is controlled by the one who cares less.

    • pzo on April 22, 2019 at 07:04

      You probably mean NOT cares less.

      Honest to grammar god…………

  20. JC on April 11, 2019 at 03:54

    I pray to Jesus daily to resurrect this blog from the dead however my prayers go unanswered. Why does the Lord forsake me?

  21. paper boy on April 12, 2019 at 17:22

    Richard, what happened to It seems to have disappeared. Is this temporary or is it gone for ever? Cheers.

    • Richard Nikoley on April 12, 2019 at 19:56

      I deleted it today.

      All will be explained in due time.

  22. Lisa on May 30, 2019 at 07:52

    I dont think you are too old for a good woman and family Richard. Yeah, you’d be a dad when others are usually a grand dad but it could work. I’ve known people who’ve done it successfully. You take care of yourself and have health and energy to do it it seems like. Find a thirty some odd old and settle down, make some babies or adopt/foster some.
    The stuff you talk about re maturity of men reminds me of Jordan Peterson’s lectures a lot. Only said in a more gritty way.
    A tip: the best women are conservative, god fearing ones. I don’t necessarily mean church goers but ones that have conviction that there is a higher divine moral authority from which the moral truths came such as you shall not steal, murder, commit adultery, dishonor your parents etc. and treat others as you want to be treated, and love one another, etc that they believe they will answer to and for. A woman like this will shun foolish, evil, corrupting influences and hang with other people/women who help her remember and stay true to these values whether it’s a church or other informal community of like minded folks.

    • Richard Nikoley on May 30, 2019 at 08:30

      Good stuff, Lisa.

      I agree wholeheartedly about the kinds of best women.

      As to starting a family, I’ve considered these options. In some senses, it sounds interesting and quite a good challenge. In others, undecided.

      Thanks for the input.

      Are your auditioning? 😉

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